"I committed no offence other than responding to a medical condition" he says. FFS!
It just says it all, doesn't it? Typical male abusive mindset. "My horrible behaviour isn't abuse if I feel like it's justified by the thoughts in my head." Total lack of self-awareness and inability to realise one is both a subject and an object.
I'm just going to take a moment to do some calming breathing exercises before I keep reading.
"Your ex-wife was surely angry and humiliated"
Humiliated. Now there's a verb with a very definite subject and object. We've identified the wife as the object of the verb. I wonder who the subject could have been? Who was performing the actions of humiliation?
"I can understand how very hard it must be to accept that Dad has now become another ‘Mum’"
Oh fuck OFF with this bollocks and look at what their mum did. She backed them up, she kept them safe, she protected them from a father whose behaviour was fucking the whole family right up. What did their dad do? He was the one doing the fucking up. He's not another mum. "Mum" to those children is the one who protected them, the one who's on their side, the one who put their needs first. He's literally trying to identify his way out of accepting what he's done. What an absolute knob.
"But it seems unjust, as well as sad, that nobody spoke to them to put the case for forgiveness and reconciliation, to ask them to choose to be kind."
Jesus, this is the absolute antithesis of the Relationships board collective wisdom, isn't it? Trying to use guilt and shame to coerce the abused into letting the abuser off the hook is abusive.
"Chris, of course you have committed no ‘offence’"
Yeah, cos what constitutes an offence is determined by what men think is acceptable, and they think psychologically abusing women and children to get their own way is perfectly fine and dandy and normal and not wrong.
"Have you ever written to them? It might be worth a try now."
The only potential positive I can see in writing them is it might remind them that their dad is still a dick who won't accept their boundary. Just in case they'd been wavering on that one.
That made me very, very cross.