Booking an abortion and asked if I identified as male or female

I thought getting offended was how you get things changed.

Unless you are transgender, then you can just fuck off, apparently.

It might be for a woman who has been raped or in other ways abused by men.

Careful you don’t do yourself an injury with that massive leap there. 🙄 women who are abused lived with the term “he” being used everywhere every day. They see male friends and colleagues every day, are you really suggesting abused women should be shielded from anything to do with men in every aspect of life?

It implies that everyone has to go along with the whole ridiculous concept of identiying as something so yes it is an imposition. Many people want no part of identity politics.

Because you don’t agree with it, everybody has to live your way? What kind of shitty attitude is that? I don’t want to play a part in the non medical gluten free faddy bollocks, I’m not bothered by the freefrom aisle in Tesco, nor bothered if I’m asked if I have special dietary requirements on a menu form.

can’t possibly speak to how every one feels about being asked this
Neither can you?

Not every transmale might want to be asked that question. They might not feel its relevant when getting an abortion. So now we're down to an even tinier percentage of people that question is relevant to.
Almost irrelevant you might say.

So, because it’s unlikely, they should just ignore the possibility, because a whole bunch of people are ridiculously offended by it, because they have bigger issues about trans-rights?
I thought getting offended was how you get things changed.

Also you've no idea about my personal views on trans rights as a whole. I think asking women ringing for an abortion their gender identify is daft. Thats why I'm commenting on this partucular thread.

It's the use of the terms female and male which is wrong - only females can get pregnant, even if they identify as a man.

The correct question to ask of the person is how they would like to be addressed.
They can then say Miss/Ms/Mrs or Mr. Or Rosie, or Jim.
Job done.

NO

The person with female anatomy who "identifies as male" can tell the clinic if they are sensitive about how people refer to them when they are being talked about.

I do not "identify as female". I have no fucking idea how that would feel. I do know how it feels to be female; to have my consent overridden; to need a clinic like this.

I do not consent to being forced to "identify" with a gender identity that I don't have, whose roots lie in a system of inequality which has caused me a shit load of harm, just to appease the politics of a loud group of people.

It is despicable to ask this of women at such a vulnerable time.

for OP

It’s one fucking question. Hardly a major imposition, is it.

It might be for a woman who has been raped or in other ways abused by men.

It implies that everyone has to go along with the whole ridiculous concept of identiying as something so yes it is an imposition. Many people want no part of identity politics.

Precisely this. It’s a pernicious slow creep, coercing women into believing they have chosen to identify with the female gender role, as if this really was a matter of personal, chosen, identification, rather than a societally imposed position.

It's one fucking question. Hardly a major imposition is it
It implies that everyone has to go along with the whole ridiculous concept of identiying as something so yes it is an imposition. Many people want no part of identity politics.

I understand the need to ask but the fact that it was worded as ‘male or female’ is wrong imo. Male and female refers to biological sex, if you are pregnant you are female, whether you identify as a woman, a man, non binary etc.

Xpost feelingverylazytoday

Presumably the trans man is actually verbal and would be able to say BTW just to let you know I identify as a trans man. I mean it's nothing to be ashamed of. Just the same as someone with a disability might mention it if it's relevant to access etc

The pandering is what gets me
Me too. If you want to be treated as a man when you're obviously a female then the onus is on the individual to speak up, not the rest of the world to adapt.
My ex was filling an online form when he had to fill this in, the first time he'd come across it. He was like 'WTF???'
Ridiculous.

If a person was raped and became pregnant then they would have to be a woman because only women can get pregnant.
If they preferred to present themselves in a traditionally Male way and want to use male pronouns then I’m sure the very very very tiny number of people in that position would be treated appropriately when they arrived

but no need to involve other patients.

It’s one fucking question. Hardly a major imposition, is it.

Of the tiny percentage of people who identify as a transmale, a tiny percentage of those people may become pregnant through rape of which a tiny percentage of those may want an abortion
So, because it’s unlikely, they should just ignore the possibility, because a whole bunch of people are ridiculously offended by it, because they have bigger issues about trans-rights? What a shitty world we live in.

I'm a lesbian. I don't get offended when my doctor asks me if I'm on birth control

Good for you. You aren’t the only lesbian in the world and can’t possibly speak to how every one feels about being asked this. Not everybody is happy with the default to what is considered the societal norm.

Talk about 'whattaboutary' Yabbers
Of the tiny percentage of people who identify as a transmale, a tiny percentage of those people may become pregnant through rape of which a tiny percentage of those may want an abortion. But because of the miniscule chance this might occur health professionals should ask every single user of their service (who are ALL biological women) just in case.

The pandering is what gets me. I'm a lesbian. I don't get offended when my doctor asks me if I'm on birth control. Because the vast majority of women my age need to think about their contraceptive choices. I don't because of my sexual orientation. But do i need to demand special treatment? No.

Yabbers because a lot of people don't identify as anything. Identifying as male or female isn't the default the vast majority just accept reality.
If a transman does become a patient then that can be dealt with during the booking procedure. Of course they should their wishes respected as regards their own care , but no need to involve other patients.

I live in a dream world and would like us to get back to the old days of, oh, maybe five whole years ago, when it was generally understood that having female anatomy made a person female, regardless of which gender stereotypes they complied with. Hence health care professionals who need to know what sex someone is in order to treat them properly not having the additional complication of checking someone's gender identity.

I don't care how other people dress and present to the world. I don't care if a young woman given the name Lily decides in her teens she wants to be called Max. All fine. I just don't want to live in a world where having short hair, not wearing dresses or makeup or high heels and choosing a non-traditional feminine name suddenly magically turns a young woman into someone who has a male brain in a female body and therefore needs medical treatment to fix the body.

Hope all goes well for you, OP.

‘How would you like to be addressed’ so as not to offend people who don’t identify as either male or female should cover the .01%.

Under what circumstances would pronouns be used to someone's face though

So they are asking very fucking woman who phones up, on the < 1 in a thousand chance that one of them might identify as a man? What a bizarre decision

How do you suggest they identify that 1 in a thousand person if it isn’t by asking everyone.

What’s so wrong with being asked?

If person was raped, and became pregnant, far less awkward if the clinic is aware they identify as a man, isn’t it?

Or should they just have to accept that they can’t be referred to by their chosen pro-noun during what would be a really traumatic experience, because people here think it’s a stupid question for them to be asked?

Well I think it’s probably helpful for Marie Stopes to know if they will have a trans man coming in and probably also good for the patient to be able to make them aware before they arrive

They could ask something like 'do you have a preferred form of address'.

I would imagine some transgender people might prefer not to be asked about their 'identity' in this context.

So they are asking very fucking woman who phones up, on the < 1 in a thousand chance that one of them might identify as a man? What a bizarre decision

Jeeze. Sending

Why should it matter? If it's someone booking in for a termination, if they have a uterus and are pregnant, they get attended to. If not, surely to hell they'd get a bollocking for time wasting?

If this isn't the case, the world really is going mad

And hope you're ok, OP x