"What's your preferred pronoun?"

I'd be livid - DD2 would be ripe for this kind of thing as she likes a lot of things and clothing that go into the "stereotypically boy" box - we've done a lot of work with her to affirm it's OK to like what you want to like (and dinosaurs are cool as fuck so who wouldn't want a t-shirt with dinosaurs on) and then society tries to fuck it up.

We've also spent a bloody fortune on speech therapy sessions and one big target was sorting out her confusion about the use of he/she - kid was just ahead of her time!

DD1 is 11 and gets comments about her being a boy all the time. She has a bob and likes to wear her football shorts for sport. She once had to have her little sister stand up for her and say 'she is my sister and she is a girl' at a sporting activity. Thankfully the (XX) woman was mortified and apologised profusely.

We have had conversations about trans issues already (because obviously they get it at school) and she is well aware that your sex is determined by biology but that has no impact on your personality. We've spoken a lot about the difference between being gay (completely normal and healthy now but faced prison years ago due to homophobia) vs trans (lifetime of drugs and surgery).

How fucking homophobic. I'd be seething.

preferred pronouns are like "guess"

Micaela64 To the contrary, kids whose parents enforce pink sparkles are for girls and construction toys are for boys are the most likely to feel that they are the wrong sex, because they can't see another way of ppursuing their interests. The ex-husband of Susie Green (of Mermaids infamy) threw his male-born child's dolls into the bin because dolls are for girls and gays. Result: said child transitioned very early.

Let kids be kids. And for the love of god either stop complimenting girls' clothes or start complimenting boys. I was at the chemist this morning and saw a woman tell her friend's little daughter "isn't your dress pretty?" without even saying a word to her friend's son. If no one ever tells boys that they are looking sharp, they may well become jealous of their sisters. We already know from Paris Lees' account of enjoying male attention that some of the motive to transistion may be.envy of how women are complimented by men and each other.

Why didn't they just ask him his name and use that? No need to get into identity at all.

Nobody has yet 'prounouned' any of my male friends. Lots of them have had long hair since they were very young and look like this:

I'm in my 50s. As pp has said, some girls had short hair, others didn't. You wore whatever, particularly in primary school. All this glitter and pink was unheard of. Yes, there were "girls' clothes " and "boys' clothes " but we all wore T-shirts and jeans, shorts and jumpers etc.

Agog at poster who says way to deal with this is to force boys and girls to dress and behave in line with stereotypes.

This is where this stuff ends up and it's shit.

30 years ago it was different. This is regression, first men and women clothes etc went v gendered, now people who step outside are being policed, in a new 'woke' way. It's shit.

Your son sounds ace, op.

A friend of mine just came home from working at a camp for kids with problems, and this came up there. She said she found it tricky because she honestly wasn't sure if some of the kids were presenting a certain way, were just feminine boys or masculine girls, or what. What it said on forms wasn't always helpful.

Wow

Thanks for the update

Looking like a girl? FFS.

My son is 20. He has had long hair since he was 8 or 9, by choice. Not a particularly surprising choice given his dad had long hair until the male pattern baldness set in and his uncle has long hair, and many of our male friends have or have in the past had long hair. Long hair on men is not considered note worthy in my age group.

Was my son ever mistaken for a girl as a child? Yes, once or twice, prior to the masculising impact of puberty, but not commonly and at no point did anyone ever ask for his pronouns because that wasn't a thing even 5 years ago and thankfully still isn't in our spectacularly unwoke community.

FFS stop trying to make it one.

Or teach your children that 'whatever' is a pronoun and therefore a perfectly reasonable answer to idiots asking stupid questions.

Agree with TheGirlontheLanding. I was a tomboy fifty years ago. I'm a woman now. Let kids be kids and dress how they want without making assumptions.

What @TheGirlOnTheLanding said

With bells and whistles on.

What @TheGirlOnTheLanding said.

With bells on

@Micaela64 it's nothing to do with raising kids as 'gender neutral' - we've gone backwards as far as gender stereotyping is concerned, IMO. In my childhood, it was perfectly usual for some girls to have short hair and some boys to have long hair, and a lot of everyday clothes for primary age kids were interchangeable - jeans, primary coloured t shirts, check shirts. Now though, people automatically assume my DD is a boy because she has her hair cut short and is wearing jeans and a Harry Potter t shirt because the default has become long hair and pink and sparkly clothing for girls. Kids should be allowed to wear what they feel comfortable in, and do what they're interested in. I'm not going to force my DD into pink and sparkly to meet someone else's idea of what a girl should be wearing or doing, and OP's DS should be able to do an activity he enjoys whether or not people see it as a stereotypically girly activity.

"@mikayla64 do you think that George from famous 5 etc. look ridiculous? Or is it just feminine-looking boys who you would have dress differently?"

More that the boys look ridiculous I'm afraid. I've seen many posh boys around lately who look borderline drag queen.

Some people raising their new children as gender neutral are literally referring to them as "theybies" so I'm surprised people don't see the link to trans ideology, queer theory and pronouns etc.

@mikayla64 do you think that George from famous 5 etc. look ridiculous? Or is it just feminine-looking boys who you would have dress differently?

All this will encourage is the "class clowns", I can think of a couple specifically in my oldest ds's class, that will tell them they prefer the opposite sex pronoun, thinking its hilarious. Will they be telling those children not to be so ridiculous and stop messing around , or will they have to play along? My guess is the latter.

With respect, what do you expect people to think in the current age if you let him go out looking like a girl? I don't mean to be harsh but I've said before that those of you who raise your children to be gender neutral are asking for them to be pulled in and targeted for the trans stuff.

I think parents sometimes let their kids indulge in this stuff too much these days, especially the white middle classes. Most working class and BAME parents will rightly tell their children if they look ridiculous.

They singled him out? Outrageous. I would absolutely complain about this.