I personally became aware and concerned about five years ago after a situation in the lingerie department changing room of a M&S store. I was trying on bras in a cubicle when someone with a very loud male voice went into the cubicle beside me. As women who was subjected to a lot of sexual abuse including rape when I was a girl, I reacted instinctively and felt vulnerable and a bit traumatised. Through my teens and twenties in particular, I had regular trauma and fear-based responses to certain situations with men - both because of the abuse of my childhood but also because I continued to be subjected to regular sexual harassment and sometimes assault by men ( the sort that many young women are subjected to). It was clear to me that you usually could not tell which men would harass you and when. The trauma responses were awful and limiting. I expect that I would have been diagnosed with PTSD if I had felt able to talk to HCPs about it. By my 30s I thought that I was handling the trauma a lot better. The nightmares, for example, stopped being a nightly occurrence. I had spent years trying hard to push myself to do things that I would struggle with, although I have always cut myself a bit of slack if things became overwhelming.
So whilst I was reacting to this other customer in the cubicle next to me I was also telling myself that of course I could cope and I was also trying to tell myself that I needed to do it as where else could this poor other customer go to try on bras. Meanwhile this customer was demonstrating no concern for any of the feelings of the women in there. Instead their voice, as they spoke to the sales assistant that was with them, got louder and I am sure deliberately so. The conversation was all about their transition and their 'breast' surgery. It was very detailed and they paused only to hear the responses that they were clearly waiting for from the sales assistant which were all along the lines of how hard it must have been for them and how brave they were. I don't even think that was what the sales assistant was thinking, I think she just knew what was expected of her. My instincts were screaming at me to get out by this point and I gave up trying to cope and left. I lasted less than five minutes and I left feeling somewhat violated, upset and also a bit annoyed at myself that I couldn't cope.
This incident stayed with me and a while later when the petition to place Tara Hudson in a women's prison was signed by so many people I was horrified. I was even more horrified when the prison service changed the rules and allowed all male prisoners with a GRC into female prisons, as well as some male prisoners without GRCs who claimed to be female. I had lasted five minutes and had the choice to leave and now it was apparent that female prisoners many of who would have histories of sexual abuse and rape far worse than mine would be expect to cope with months or even years alongside males (some of who were sex offenders) whose presence would frighten and retraumatise them.
Then I found out about that the Guides would be placing girls into tents with male children who identify as girls - potentially without even the girls or parents being made aware. This also horrified me as I can certainly imagine all to well how a girl, who feels unable to disclose that she has been sexually abused, could feel 'trapped' in a situation which is deeply traumatising to her.
Then I found out that many schools had similar policies and that vulnerable, abused girls would be expected to use changing rooms and toilets next to males. Some of these girls would be using the toilet to check for signs that their period had started and that they were not pregnant.
Then I found out that these girls would be expected to believe that someone is who they say they are. That they must accept that a male is female if this is what they claim and also that this person would no longer represent a significant risk nor should their presence be traumatising to them based on the claim they make that about their gender/sex. I think the danger of this to a sexually abused girl is obvious. She should not be taught that a person is who they claim to be. Nor should she made to feel even more fearful of the consequences of trying to disclose that her abuser is not who claims to be and everyone else believes he is. She has the right to recognise people for who they are.
Then I found out that girls who objected to sharing intimate spaces with males and to having their privacy and boundaries overridden could be subjected to education about inclusivity and I have even seen it suggested that they could be advised to leave the school if they are not happy with the policies. So a sexually abused girl who feels unable to disclose her abuse could be told that she is wrong to want these boundaries and that she must be kinder and more inclusive.
The more I looked the more horrified I became. Policies are being bought in without any impact assessment of the needs of anyone and certainly not the needs of sexually abused girls. The safeguarding risks to these girls do not seem to have been considered despite safeguarding being about the development and wellbeing of all children. These policies are placing sexually abused girls at risk by discouraging the development of their emerging and fragile boundaries - which are necessary both in order to potentially escape or disclose the abuse and also to reduce the chances of revictimisation in the future. These policies also risk abused girls suffering further from really horrible and terrifying trauma and fear-based responses.
The added horror of it all is that when I looked for the organisations and people in authority raising concerns and speaking up for these girls I found no-one (except a few brilliant women and the groups that they urgently formed). Not the NSPCC, Rape Crisis or any other major charity. Not government ministers (with a couple of notable exceptions). Not Headteacher or Social Worker Associations. Nor much of the press. In fact I found the opposite I found MPs and charities that would dismiss and even laugh or sneer about women and girls need for boundaries. I found an awful lot of people who would applaud themselves for their kindness and progressiveness and who failed to acknowledge the immense harm they are causing to vulnerable girls who have already been through something akin to torture. I also found out that no-one wanted to listen to these concerns and that women who speak up are condemned as bigots and transphobic and that they are silenced.
That is how I peaked. This is why I try and do my bit. I will do my best and try my hardest for these vulnerable girls and indeed for all girls and women.