Domestic Violence ‘ not a gender thing’

JessicaWakefieldSV

Yes I think a lot of female suicides are women caught up in domestic violence situations. I've been there, feeling suicide is the only way out, mainly because you know you can't set up a life alone because you can't afford it

kareningalasmith.com/2013/04/29/this-thing-about-male-victims/

This is a great exploration of the "men are victims too" thing

JessicaWakefieldSV

This is why women only spaces are really the only way to work on statistics, where you can discuss them in peace. Thankfully there are plenty of women behind the scenes collating the evidence. Karen Ingala Smith does a very good job with her "Counting Dead Women". Another good one to follow is Women Count USA who tot up the femicide stats.
Putting domestic violence aside, spousal murder is hugely gendered and happens on a massive scale.

It’s not a derail, I’m commenting on the title of the thread, the article you linked and your comment

Figures are going to change because transwomen domestic violence abusers are now going down in the stats as women

No, I'm not helping you derail yet another thread where you work on refocusing everything to include and prioritise people with penises. That's your problem, not what the thread is about.

He didn’t say woman do it equally. He said it’s not restricted to males. Do you disagree with that?

Well you're demonstrating it really. The nice, inclusive refocusing to ensure all parties are mentioned, that men's needs and feelings are made clear as an important part, gently airbrushes away and makes less visible (and even frames as slightly politically incorrect to mention) the walloping great issue for people born with vaginas of two to three women a week being murdered by male partners, that less than 2% of rapes are prosecuted, and 'sex gone wrong' defences in court are working beautifully for men to conceal murder against women.

He is right though, that it’s not a gender thing on its own as woman can and do abuse men and men abuse other men and woman can abuse woman in relationships.

It’s dangerous to categorise DV to just men on woman crime, as men are already less likely to speak up.

I agree with him about parenting too. If people are exposed to DV in their own families, they’re more likely to engage in it themselves.

I don’t understand what he’s said that’s offensive?

I've no doubt men are less likely to report it

The unthinking repetition of this 'poor stigmatised men' trope needs to stop.

Karen Ingala Smith has written an excellent blog post on domestic abuse statistics here

She cites research which demonstrates that men are more (not less) likely to report domestic abuse.

When it comes to who injures the most, it's men causing more harm to women

When it comes to attempted and successful murder during DV it's almost exclusively men. The debate at the Scots parliament is transcripted and available online, the point was made that people at risk of serious injury and death from DV is women.

Plus then add the previously mentioned false equivalent of a woman being hospitalised multiple times and a man being shoved once in self defence or being called out for being a bastard.

For UK figures on domestic violence, the ONS also includes familial violence ie children to parents and vice versa. A large proportion of male victim figures come from this if you dig into the data.

For male victims ONLY they also include violence between current and previous partners of a woman. So if a woman’s ex partner attacks her new husband that is included.

Safe to say the majority of male victims of DV are from male perpetrators.

When it comes to who injures the most, it's men causing more harm to women. Significantly more. The men who pretend women are just as violent as men will equate a woman shoving a man with a man who knocks a woman out. They are both being violent and so we're all even now, supposedly.

Lundy Bancroft, working extensively with male perps in the states, says in his books that many men claim to be domestically abused by the partner they've battered in order to shift the blame and to try and paint the partner as deserving it/the abuser. He believes the real figures of f on m abuse are considerably lower than suggested.

It's rather like sexual crime. 2% committed by females according to the MoJ, so yes, probably better we focus on the 98% of the perpetrators for the moment. What is the purpose of men always rushing to point out 'women do it too' (despite it being tiny, tiny numbers)? Whataboutery that deflects blame and protects hurt feels, the same way newspapers report appalling crimes against women with as little reference to the perpetator and their involvement as possible. Because their male readership get indignant and upset and say it's anti men.

The problem is the stats can be interpreted numerous ways from numerous studies.
I've no doubt that both sexes commit acts of domestic violence, not that blinkered to suggest otherwise, and I've no doubt men are less likely to report it. What all the studies do show though is that domestic violence is a problem that requires a solution, so if there is a joint solution I'm all for it, but otherwise the studies show that the more serious (unfortunate that they have to be ranked) instances of domestic violence are against women, therefore these need tackled first.