ok I'm a man and I would appreciate some advice

I know a couple of feminist guys and both are great. They treat women with respect, the one with DD goes out of his way to actively parent 50% of the time and expose the girls to more than pink unicorns. He talked about being asked if mum was out for the day when taking his DDs out, so obviously men are still seen as babysitters a lot of the time.

I think the main thing is just don't be creepy, talk to women with respect and listen to what we have to say.

I know a counsellor who describes himself as working from a feminist perspective which I find interesting and not 100% sure how I feel about that one.

I think as far as campaigning then you also need to respect women's space and ask any individuals or group what they want your role to be.

Well done on challenging your perspective on the world and changing your behaviour.

As a man IMO you can be an ally not a feminist.

You should behave towards other women how you want other men to behave towards your daughters.

Don't limit your expectations of your dds because they are female.

Read some feminist books and encourage your daughters to do so. Personally as a GC feminist id avoid 3rd wave and recommend 2nd wave instead.

Feminism is political. It's about how do I (men) get on board without being told to gtf by feminists.

He could start by not having to ask the question in the first place!!

If he came on here asking "how do i teach my children not to be racists even though I was in my youth" would you go oh bless him at least hes trying

No you would expect any person to treat humans as humans without thinking the colour of their skin would make a difference.

Change the word black to the word women and people suddenly need a step by step guide!

Very good advice from MIdgebabe. Also, forget about "not all men are like that". They aren't, of course they aren't, but a lot are and it doesn't help young women to be constantly second guessing their gut instincts. Women are raised to be "nice" and "kind" and that often manifests in trying to excuse or ignore huge red flags by "giving people the benefit of the doubt". NAMALT feeds into this, so do some thinking about how to recognise behaviour patterns at a population level as well as an individual level. Class analysis is your friend.

For yourself, I guess just listen to women. Don't try and read between the lines, or guess what you think they're really trying to say, just listen to their actual words. There are loads of really good feminist books and essays out there. 'We Should All Be Feminists' by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is a pretty accessible place to start.

I don't think I know any adult men that need to ask women to tell them how to "use behaviour and language in such a way that, that I don't come across as weird, creep"

I for one am not going say how brilliant you are for saying you've been a dick in the past but now would like women to tell you how not to be a dick. Oh and women need to help you to "lead by example" to other men.

Are you saying you need to learn how not to be weird or a creep? Do you usually need to seek behavioural advice from women in this fashion?

I'm sick of men expecting women to tell them how to behave - oh, whilst graciously advising us they are prepared to listen to what we have to say

If you’d be uncomfortable with a gay guy doing it to you then don’t do it to a woman is a pretty good rule to go by.

I dont think treating females well and with respect should need to be spelled out to anyone
The OP isn't asking how do I treat women with respect.
Feminism is political. It's about how do I (men) get on board without being told to gtf by feminists.

Start by setting your daughter's a positive example by doing your fair share of housework and shitwork (life admin that too frequently gets pushed on to women). Let them see you treating women in your life in a positive, respectful and equal way, so that when they start relationships they set the bar high, and get treated the way they deserve and don't settle for anything less.

I would not give you any advice as I dont think treating females well and with respect should need to be spelled out to anyone.

You clearly see after years of experience the struggle women face and how men are the catalyst so why not lead by example. Point out your previous wrong doings. Tell them they need not accept misogyny just because men are the default.

Fuck my life I just gave you advice...I am a shit feminist 🙄

IF you would not say it to a man you just met, then don’t say it to a woman.
If you would not expect a man to behave in a certain way, don’t expect it from a woman
If you wouldn’t treat your son like that, don’t treat a daughter that’s way

Hi thanks for posting
I think the general consensus in feminism is that men can't be feminists because they're not female, but the can and are welcome to be feminist allies. Men calling themselves feminists do tend to have that creepy, overstepping the mark thing going on.

The few I've met, tend to use it to be overly creepy dudes and hut in you g women in what I consider an inappropriate way

Ok lol but pardon?

I try to explain things that are red flag behaviours in men. I'll be honest, I've done some of them in the past, when I was younger. I've also haven't been that good in relationships in the past and I haven't been the best, needy, entitled, demanding. I hope I've learnt my lessons

OMG don't worry I've been dreadful in the past too. I've cheated, been a nightmare, all you can do is learn and most importantly not blame the world around you. Own your behaviour. So long as you've learned from it, it's an opportunity to understand more deeply the intricacies of life and relationships, we all make mistakes.

As a dad to DDs it's brilliant you're trying to understand the world from a woman's perspective, that's all any feminist looks for in an ally.