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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Genuine question to any lesbian woman who feels like answering

31 replies

ahumanfemale · 03/07/2019 21:12

I honestly do not understand how any single lesbian can think that someone with a penis is a potential sexual partner for them and it makes no difference. Unless trans lesbians are only potential partners for other lesbians and not them personally? Or do they not believe that trans women also identify as lesbians? Or is there a lesbian culture that actually wants to have sex with a real penis as long as it's a lady dick?? What is going on in the lesbian community where there is so much more support for women with cocks than women who refuse to have sex with women with cocks?

This isn't goady. I'm genuinely confused because as a relatively straight woman I'm aghast at self-ID and how that would impact my safety and sense of safety in a single sex environment, never mind the idea of that changing who I was "allowed" to be sexually attracted to without being a bigot. I'm also shocked at the language and threats of violence I see online from the trans activists and their admirers and it is a massive red flag..but somehow do they not see this?

I don't know anybody well enough in RL to ask this to, which is why I'm posting here. I've also not really found much about it online. If there's a good article, please just link it rather than waste your time explaining it to me - I'm aware this is "education" but I'm not sure where else to ask!

Thanks in advance to anybody who replies!

OP posts:
PhoenixBuchanan · 04/07/2019 05:27

I've been thinking about this lately. Cynthia Nixon had some interesting comments on this, basically that being gay was a choice for her and she doesn't like being shouted down by others in the community that she had no choice in it. I have heard other women who came to lesbianism later in life say this too, that their sexuality was more fluid than they realized but that they choose to be with women now. Does that mean that all of them would never consider men again? Are they actually bisexual? I don't know, I'd have to ask them. I do think society and history show us that women's sexuality can be quite fluid and that, alongside an unfortunate dose of wokeness, may leave lesbianism more susceptible to the idea of men/anyone as sexual partners, than the gay male community.

ahumanfemale · 04/07/2019 04:56

I'm now just thinking aloud on Mumsnet! Is it that as women belonging to a historically (and I'd argue, currently) oppressed group, that there's a projection of their own experience and a resulting misguided kindness offered to other people who are claiming to be suffering?

Is there a collective pain that is "triggered" with the idea that some women are not being treated as women, allowed to express themselves as they want etc, that eclipses the fact that these people are trans women and what that definition actually means?

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ahumanfemale · 04/07/2019 04:03

2BthatUnnoticed Do any of them go along the "trans women are women" line of thinking though and believe - or say - that they should be able to enter women's spaces?

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ahumanfemale · 04/07/2019 04:00

Aspley Thanks for taking the time. Can't believe that profile!! Well, I can't, but you know what I mean!

I'm wondering if the women, like Mhairi Black and the three on Women's Hour this week, plus all the ones who say Get the L Out doesn't represent them because trans women are women, are just trying to be PC but don't really believe it.

It makes absolutely no sense to me.

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2BthatUnnoticed · 03/07/2019 22:56

Not a lesbian but my sister is, and neither she or any lesbian in her friendship group would do dick.

Aspley · 03/07/2019 22:18

That is alot of questions....
Personally I don't know any lesbian who would have sex with anyone with a penis. Any lesbian who says they will is not a lesbian and they should stop appropriating our word.
Asking lesbians to "reflect on our preferences" is deeply hurtful as we have mostly already spent lifetimes doing just that.
There is a nasty bullying attitude from within the LGBT which is leading to lesbians being excluded (self excluded).

My experience is summed up by a "lesbian" individual who came up as a match on my online dating the other day. They explicitly state that "they are not interested in males"
The hypocrisy is overwhelming, an actual lesbian (homosexual female type) would not get away with that. But this AGP male is entitled to state they do not want the ladydick and that is ok. If only actual lesbians could be left alone for saying the same.

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