I have been thinking about this topic for a few days after seeing some pictures at the weekend of a library's Drag Queen Story Time.
So imagine you spoke to fifty or so loving parents of small children 0 - 5 yrs and told them that in a months time they would find themselves watching as a complete stranger - a man, lies down on the floor and invites their young children to lie across his clothed groin area.
Imagine if you told these parents that instead of reacting in horror that they would actually encourage their child to do so, in fact they would laugh along and celebrate as their own child or other children wriggled about on this man's groin.
Imagine if you told these parents that on this particular day they would teach their child to overcome their natural reticence to engage with this man and that the child will come away with a more confused understanding of how the boundaries that should exist between children and adults work.
Finally, imagine if you told these loving and normally very careful parents that in a months time they - the parents would be 'groomed' to ignore the boundaries that should exist to keep a child safer from sexual abuse and that once they have lost sight of these boundaries their child will now be significantly more vulnerable to harm from someone (either stranger, family or friend) who chooses to sexually abuse them.
I would expect that each of these parents would deny that this would or could happen. Except this is not an imaginary scenario. It really happened. About fifty parents took their children to a Drag Queen Story Time at a library in the US. The photos show the parents and library staff clearly enjoying a sort of party atmosphere, where they drape their children in party colours. The drag queen who is wearing, incredibly heavy make up, reads to the children and then afterwards the children are encouraged to meet him (not misgendering as he is not transgender) and dance with him. Some of the children look worried about being close to him, so their parents respond by handing them over to be held by him. Somehow or another the drag queen ends up on the floor and can be seen holding out his arms as if inviting children to lay on him and they do and the parents all watch happily.
I am not commenting on the intentions of the Drag Queen in inviting children to lie on his groin. I do not know what he was thinking or feeling or what his intentions were but then neither do those parents and they were supposed to be safeguarding their children from possible harm and abuse. These parents were also supposed to be teaching and demonstrating appropriate boundaries to their children, so what happened to make about fifty parents ignore everything that they know they shouldn't?
Abusers (I am not saying that this particular man is or is not. I am just saying that his behaviour breaks the boundaries that exist to protect children) know that the most important people to groom are not the children but the adults who are supposed to be keeping the children safe. Once the adults have been groomed then it is very easy for abuser to groom a child. Not only will a child look to her parents or whoever for reassurance that an abuser can be trusted and that therefore their behaviour must be acceptable, but also when that child realises what is happening to her and looks around for an adult to tell then all she will see is adults and a society who appear to be deluded as to a person's true character. It is amazing how hard it is for a child to even attempt to break through adults' delusion about an individual or groups behaviour.
I am not saying that any particular group of males is more likely than any other to abuse children. This is about how abusers will use anything and everything to groom parents and other adults in order to abuse children. They will not necessarily always need to do the grooming themselves as society has always been very good at holding up certain groups of people on a pedestal and making them untouchable by criticism. Abusers just need to become part of a group that is rarely scrutinised.
Equally society seems very intent at the moment to allow in a narrative in that breaks down boundaries between children and the sexuality of adults and between males and the needs of females to safe spaces. This narrative also encourages those trying to uphold them to be shamed for moralism, erotophobia (a word used by Tatchell) or bigotry.
Without a doubt I think that abusers will take full advantage of any breakdown in safeguarding frameworks and understanding. As usual children will be the ones to suffer the consequences of too many adults' inability to understand when they are putting children at risk in order to fulfil their own needs including the more modern need to appear progressive, kind and inclusive.