Feminism. The Elephant in the Room.

Is looking for topics to debate at a feminist meeting the same as stealing ideas for promotion of an event?

I knew, through seeing something on fb, that this was what Lippy was getting at and perhaps it was clunkily done but I don't think she meant any malice or manipulation here. In fact the idea of it feeding into a meeting / IRL debate made it more interesting to me. However I did see that from the beginning, I understand why people may have felt duped / used.

We have these overlapping fields to navigate: face to face personal, face to face public, personal social media and anonymous forums. People often make mistakes in etiquette when shifting between these fields.

I have to say that the feeling compelled to be close to my babies didn’t feel like it brought me much joy at the time, particularly DS1 as I was trying to process just how much my life had changed and my freedom had been curtailed. I just felt panicked and unhappy if I wasn’t close to them rather than blissful when I was iyswim

Nothing that has been posted here is being collected to be used as part of the event

Its already been used to advertise the event.

Its one thing to be upfront and say "what do you think about this event/its subject" its quite another to post "I'm just wondering" when its already been rapidly used to promote an event.

Whole threads get put on twitter and Facebook, daily and posts appear in newspapers regularly. Every MNer needs to be careful in what they divulge about themselves, but especially in FWR where there are beady eyes lurking.

I can’t think of an elephant in the room of feminism. Perhaps for me it’s how many men do actually loathe us. It’s hard to say that when discussing feminism without looking like a conspiracy theorist man hating harpy.

So many salient points on this thread. I'm sorry the OP wasn't upfront in the opening post.

In fact, I don't think their husbands would've stood a chance of swapping places even if they'd wanted to!

I would have defended my "right" to bring up my children with the last breath of my body!

I didn't give two hoots about career after I gave birth. All such ambition just vanished. Now, with my kids grown up and long flown the nest, and, being retired, having all the time in the world, I am indeed having a very wonderful second chance at the best career in the world. And since retirement, it's getting better and better. Plus, I'm enjoying my grandchildren...

Yes, Jane the woman who would rather be on maternity leave than smashing the emperor's new ceiling.

Jane is the elephant in the room ?

A couple decides they want to have children... why is it that the woman's career is the one that ends up being balanced against finding time/flexibility for the children? Why that way round? I don't think it's a "nature" thing.

I'm not sure of the ultimate reason, but I know that each workmate of mine (mid level corporate sales team) that went on maternity leave was 110% into it and they definitely weren't stressing about their bids/workload from what I could see. It was all "Jane's bringing the baby in today" followed by much clucking and cooing.

In fact, I don't think their husbands would've stood a chance of swapping places even if they'd wanted to!

I've reported my more personal post for deletion as it could identify me.

Lamaha please stay safe online. I'm sad that you feel you may have personally exposed yourself, because I found your honesty really resonated with me.

I could list many of your experiences (I won't in case you feel the need to delete for privacy) and go tick, tick, tick. The only difference is you have felt not good enough due to your race and I have not felt good enough due to poverty. Obviously not directly comparable, still feels completely shit as a child.

I'm happy to hear the news about your son. He sounds like an amazingly well adjusted and thoughtful young man.

Such an interesting thread. Shame.

My elephant- being a woman has caused me to have physical and health issues men do not have. Looking over my career, there were times I was less efficient due to period issues, pregnancy issues, hormone issues... the average woman spends more time at the GP than the average man, I believe. Some of that would be fixed by better woman focused health care.

Overall, my husband has been able to work many more hours than I.

Dick move, DJ, dick move. I thought better of you than this.

Nobody, but nobody in RL knows I use Mumsnet. What I would have posted may well have been identifiable on FB.

Same here. Many of the more detailed things I've said would be immediately identifiable to anyone who knows me IRL.

Once, I got a PM from Dr Nicola Williams warning me that some of my posts might identify me. I do tend to be careless at times!

Oh dear - I was mentally composing a post until PP exposed this as a harvesting exercise for other platforms and events.

Nobody, but nobody in RL knows I use Mumsnet. What I would have posted may well have been identifiable on FB.

Sorrynotsorry doesn't cut it with me. Lippy I have lost a huge amount of respect for you. I am not a resource to be drawn on for promotional purposes.

Quite a few men on twitter do care, and do post about it.

To add to the above, it's the realisation that even the men we love and who love us, don't actually do much to support feminism. It seems to be mainly women fighting the TRA thing - but imagine the huge difference it would make if all our men were as active as women in objecting to the encouragement of children to transition and having male bodies in female spaces.
But the truth is, it doesn't affect them as much, so they mostly don't care.

Yeah, well.

I hate it when men do the “tell me about feminism” thing too.

Of course MN is a public forum and anyone can do what they like with what we say on here, that is a consequence of posting on here. A consequence of being less than honest as an op is that some people may view any further contributions with cynicism whatever the subject.

Such a shame

This is shaping up to be a properly interesting thread

Stumble I've just seen it advertised on twitter; everything put on public forums is public and we all know that.

I saw it on a meme on Facebook yesterday and had no idea what it was about because it was just that: the meme, and no explanation.

I get what you mean, but your mother was who she was. If she had been a SAHM, she probably would not have been the rosy-cheeked mother hen, happily devoting herself to her family's needs. She would have been bored and frustrated, telling you your entire life what she has sacrificed for you.

I know this, and have always been aware of it! She should probably not have had children at all, honestly; though she often told me that even though she had divorced my father she was glad she'd been married to him because she had me. I know she loved me; she just could not be the mother I needed.
On the other hand, the independence she gave me stood me in good stead and I am not at all resentful (any more)!

Agree, this seems a bit shit.