'Nagging Wife' arrested for controlling behaviour

There isn’t enough information here and in the absence of that as others have said the best thing is to believe the victim rather than blame the victim.

Its not EXACTLY what i predicted but its pretty damn close

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7202325/Frenchwoman-face-fine-filming-man-masturbating-opposite-train.html?ito=social-twitter_mailonline&__twitter_impression=true

@ZebrasAreBras Wait till the revenge porn law gets used against women.

Five years ago a couple were suspicious about the behaviour of a workman while they were not at home. So they left a camera running and it caught him having a wank in their living room. Now yes i get that this is rather specific but if a woman living alone was suspicious and did the same thing and then e mailed it to the persons employer would that be classed as sharing revenge porn.

The most obsessively clean and tidy people I've known have all been men, ex services. It must teach them to be clean and tidy.

I think it's because they have to know exactly where everything is, and that it's in good working order. I used to know an ex service man who was sort of like this, but in a weirdly specific way. So eg. going camping all his stuff would be neatly packed, no rooting round to find stuff, all very efficient. In the home, he would line up washing up to drain in neat rows, that sort of thing. Yet stuff like vacuuming or just noticing stuff was messy (outside of specific areas) seemed to elude him.

It's always struck me as one of those areas where the daily, useful, general stuff is mostly done by women whilst the specific, high-level stuff of the same activity is a man's domain. Like cooking - women will be cooking for a family, watching a budget, tidying up as they go, considering the context of use by dates and leftovers and the time it takes to cook... Men will be top chefs and cook a (difficult to source ingredients, expensive and time comsuming) masterpiece, whilst someone else cleans the kitchen after them...

There does seem to be a strange phenomenon, that I have only seen in men, where they genuinely think that they are clean and tidy people

The most obsessively clean and tidy people I've known have all been men, ex services. It must teach them to be clean and tidy.
In most cases it has caused problems with their less tidy wives.

There does seem to be a strange phenomenon, that I have only seen in men, where they genuinely think that they are clean and tidy people so if the house is not clean and tidy it is someone else's fault. The fact that they do fuck all does not come into it. My DH and BIL used to share a place and BIL was always moaning about how untidy DH was. He never seemed to notice that his own room was the muckiest in the place. When he moved into his own place it was a real shock to him to the extent that his mental health ultimately took a hit.

I've seen enough dick men who if they not only put the bins out but also have to put their own mug in the dishwasher, proclaim they do everything around here.

oh i posted a thread on this without spotting this one.

Any menopausal woman could be accused of coersive control - because at that age we get sick of their shit and start demanding they do their share of the work.
If they don't want to because they are busy obsessing over their hobbies - cycling, bodybuilding, dressing up in latex or whatever what are we supposed to do?
Just let them ride roughshod over us? I suppose the only other option is to say nothing, just in case we get dragged to court for CC, and petition for divorce for unreasonable behaviour.
My 40 year old son said if his current relationship broke up he'd be too scared to date anyone else and would go celibate because consent, coercive control etc is so scary he'd be afraid to put a foot wrong. He's a sweetie and I know he's thought this all through for a long time.

And what has it being Yorkshire got to do with anything?

Yorkshire police forces have shown consistent failures in protecting women & girls from grooming, sexual abuse, stalking, murder...

Yet they're like shit off a shovel if anyone says something a trans activist doesn't like on Twitter. They're straight on that.

Yes I agree with pp, every law passed to protect vulnerable women, ends up being used by men against women. At least we can be thankful this was thrown out.

Wanting your husband to do his share is not coercive control - can't believe it got to court.

It was pretty obvious that this law would be used against women.

He's not a victim, the case was thrown out. Men lie all the time about this kind of stuff. It's like DV abusers claiming to be victims themselves.

I don’t think we should belittle the victim just because he is male. It’s not impossible for women to coercively control men. However, it’s quite unusual because men hold greater social power and coercive control involves a significant power imbalance

The fact is that women can be controlling. Small women can be controlling of large men. It's also true that some men are lazy and some would happily misuse a law to "get their own back".

There's not enough information on this case to know which, if any, apply so it seems pointless pearl clutching.

I've definitely witnessed an abusive relationship where a small woman berated and belittled a big man to the point of breakdown. Just like I've seen a relationship where a small man badgered and broke his big wife. You can't assume anything here without detail.

It's more likely steroid use was making him depressed than being asked to run round with the Dyson now and again.

I think it’s prudent to default to believe the victim, absent more comprehensive information.

Her complaint about his body seems pretty weird. I understand her distaste and of course steroids are bad for you, but that does not sound like a woman being controlled by her husband.

Sorry, I mean, control of her.

I believe job centres in Australia receive govt grants for each court placed in work, the larger portion paid when a client is placed in work due to the agency's efforts, and the balance payed after the isn't has stayed in that job for a certain period of time. So they're "investigated" to provide support -initial travel costs, clothing, mobile phone if necessary, and counselling to support the client to adjust from long-term unemployment to full-time work.

As to the bloke's depression, was he depressed because he was being a used and exploited, or was he having a big sad because his wife was becoming fed up with a man-toddler who thought cleaning up after himself and skin his share of work in maintaining the home they shared was "helping out the wife"? Is he an abusive individual who lost the plot when he felt he was losing control?

@SarahPickles

That law was brought in specifically to protect women.

Funny because I can’t find that anywhere in the legislation. Perhaps that’s because it was brought in to protect those being abused whatever sex they are.

That law was brought in specifically to protect women. This isn't the first time such a law has been turned against us.

I agree we can't say that a small woman can't be controlling towards her bodybuilder husband. Coercive control is not a physical thing.

However I agree with the woman when she said this law is there to protect vulnerable people who are being terribly treated not people who are having marriage disagreements. If it is not used in a serious manner this protection will be lost.

I think if someone is controlling to the point it affects their victim’s mental I think we’ve pretty much hit abuse territory. Wether the victim is a man or a woman is immaterial.

Saw that too. Obviously men will never take advantage of any laws protecting women...

Jesus Christ. So you can be taken to court now for not allowing yourself to be some blokes maid.
This does it I am never living with another man again.
Where is my scolds bridle?