Today I learned that I don't understand the term "straight"

oh, I can't be arsed
This!!!!

Rosa, I know what you mean - it's like the understanding that Non Binary is rubbish because no one is a complete stereotype of gender.

So yes, with the caveat that every human is unique and normal is very much a relative term itself, I would say that most people on the planet are largely uninteresting to most of the other people outside their immediate acquaintance.

It's not a value judgement, it doesn't mean death is wished upon them. It just means that humans are numerous, have their own quirks, and are generally on a quest to find significance in a universe where in all probability they don't have any at all.

I'm likely the least encouraging pep talker ever, but I really, genuinely believe that each human life has inherent dignity, but is also really dull to the vast majority of the rest of humanity and that's ok.

I don’t know what a boring normal is though, in this world.

It's very simple. Just borrow your understanding from Hippy culture, where 'straight' just means the boring normals.

Because basically, that's what all the label junkies are running from with all their fancy badges. If you're a boring normal person, whoever you like to diddle with, or even if you can't be arsed with diddling in any form, you're straight.

Personally, my sexual proclivities are my own business, and in many ways I am fucking weird. But I am also quite happy to be seen as dull and boring by the 'Queer' crowd, so I would be 'straight'.

Strange

I’m well past the sell by date on this debate.

I grew using the term queer to mean odd, unusual etc. Then it was the generic term for someone who was gay. Then it was a non-pc term to use, and now it’s okay to use, but I believe has a slightly different meaning?

However, as I well above 30, i’m Not meant to understand these things (and actually don’t), although it’s the youngsters that all have the blue rinses nowadays, not us old cuddle duddies.

I didn’t get any of that
I honestly think I’d do better learning a second language from scratch than trying to understand this.

But it's just a fucking friendship!

Ah well, you, see, there's your error. There shouldn't be any fucking.

Thing is it would all be just standard teen movement with parents thinking it's pointless silly etc if it wasn't for

Binders
Blockers
Surgery
Worry child protection stuff
Male rapists in womens prisons
And nowhere that women /girls are allowed to be away from males any more ever again
Etc

Re-reading the OP, I think I might be gay. If I identify as genderfree* and am attracted to genderfree men, does that make me gay? But where does genderfree sit on the gender binary anyway?

And why do I try to look for logic in this stuff? I know there isn't any.

*Although as a female over 30 I realise I am not allowed to choose my identity - but will be told it by others and mustn't argue.

My DH has a beard and did not care when some people thought he might be gay some years ago. I have a piercing and have watched obscure Eastern European dance in an underground bar while wearing black. I am told I think like a man (apparently this does not mean thinking about breasts a lot). People often think I'm lesbian.

Neither of us has blue hair though. DH has very little hair. Well, that's not strictly true, he has lots of hair but not much is on the top of his head.

Anyway, we are totally queer, right? Do we get a special flag and a letter?

What if I dyed my armpit hair blue? Would that make me more queer?

I preferred use of goth, punk, hippy and glam rock amongst other to signify this previously.

That's what this is... we used to group up according to musical taste. Nowadays, teenagers don't have distinct musical 'tribes', so they look to gender and sexual preference instead. Maybe.

And what the fuck is a homo-romantic?

My 16 yr old ds at times can't keep up with the many titles that people on his SM are giving themselves.

Why do we have to identify as anything? We are what we are and people have always been gay/straight/curious/ throughout history without feeling the need to jump on the bandwagon and declare themselves as whatever they fancy on any given day.

Fair play to those who decide what they are and own it. It's those that change every other week that I don't get. So if I identify as a toaster do I have protected status? It's getting ridiculous now.

As you can tell from my rant I haven't got much of a clue about this. I am just genuinely baffled with it all. Ds has Aspergers and his best friend is gay, ds is straight. He sees things very "black and white" and I struggle to help him understand when I don't get it myself!

Is there an identity for having most of your daily physical mammalian contact be with cats? Asking for a friend obviously.

I'll just get another cat.

"Queerplatonic"?

Is that just having a best friend?

I'm going to look at these lists one day and see hist what my 'identity' would be - if I gave a shit.

My son's ex gf was queer; polyamorous and pansexual.

It meant that she had pink/purple/blue hair; had male friends outside of her heterosexual relationship and dated men, not all of whom were always gender conforming.

So, normal teenager then.

It’s really very simple to work this all out
Non binary = blue hair

Actually forget it, we're in our 30s with kids so obviously not.

'"Squish", which is used as the platonic version of "crush", is another term to describe partners in queerplatonic relationships - even if the queerplatonic relationship has its own term "plush" as an alternative for "crush". Mostly used to describe the feeling of wanting to have a queerplatonic relationship with somebody, this term can also be used inside the relationship as an alternative to "zucchini". It can be used as a verb as well as a noun.'

Hold your horses, isn’t ‘plush’ something else entirely, involving dressing up as teddy bears or what not ? And where did the zucchini come from ? What about identifying as a courgette ( respect my vegnouns) ?

My partner and I went to town yesterday, I got a buzz cut and he bought a pink shirt and a flowery tie. Are we a queer couple?

Surely it's pretty fucking normal for women to have female friends

Not only is it normal, it's one of the ways we're supposed to know that we're "cis". From the NHS Gender Dysphoria symptoms list:

"preferring to play with children of the opposite biological sex"

Not that GD has anything to do with being trans any more. So basically if you're in a "queerplatonic" relationship, you're probably not queer.

Important caveat: all women over the age of 30, especially if they are mothers, are straight, because .... well, they just are. Frumps, past it, killjoys etc etc.

Wait, what? I’m 34, that means I’m cool and down with the kids doesn’t it? I completely understood all of that stuff about being attracted to the non opposite non binary queer....fuck it. If thinking this nonsense is all a load of wank then I embrace old age! Bring on the vests and carpet slippers!