Women with fake little girl voices

I find this forum useful to develop my thinking. This thread as well.

The irritation caused by the woman with the little girly voice stuck with me for a decade, so when I met someone else with the same vocal mannerism I was immediately reminded of the first woman.

Thinking on it, it was the girliness, and a level of "poor little me" pathos that irritated me, rather than the high pitched voice on its own. I felt as if I was being played in some way.

Perhaps others are right that the need to adopt a childlike persona suggests something else going on. In retrospect, there were a couple of other things that put together may have suggested an odd family dynamic.

Interesting. I understand the poster wondering about her irritation without working out why. I feel a bit clearer now about similar feelings.

I used to work for a woman who did this - she put on a little girly voice just for her husband, who was much older than her. The dynamic was weird and unsettling.

LassI've posted in FEMINISM! Not bloody AIBU!

Your point being what? Actually your OP would not have been out of place in AIBU as it contained nothing remotely resembling an analysis. The justification was an afterthought.

I was thinking about this the other day.

I realised a while ago that subconsciously that my voice will go higher when I'm talking to some men, or people I am nervous off. Not full on baby voice just a bit higher.

I am in my early 20s and quite young looking, and I think often men will play out the "young, a bit stupid, needs my help" narrative with me before I've spoken, and that's the only way they want to interact with me. And I think I have responded to this by playing along, since I have been actively stopping this I definitely think men pay me less attention in general. Not in like a flirty way just they listen to me less, certain men definitely start ignoring me as soon as I don't play along with them helping me out. Or it's like the genuinely don't know how to interact with me.

I'd been feeling really patronized by older men. I work with a lot of much older, quite arrogant men. And previously they used to pay me a lot of attention, and talk to me but it was never interesting conversation, and would ignore my opinion etc. They will talk to the younger men about things but only talk to the younger women in like a silly girl way if that makes sense? It's not all men, but it's definitely a certain type of man.

I have been trying really hard to not do this and tbf I feel so much better in myself.

I notice this on Aus radio it drives me nuts

Also a few on R6 music

Some people are really unobservant!

I have noticed it. Our friend did it. She was a nice person but the voice was really strange.

Her husband went to prison for looking at images of children online.

We wondered if there was any connection..

It's taken to ridiculous extremes in Japan. Shopkeepers in particular are expected to have a very high nasally squeaky voice, usually young women, and it seems to a a condition of employment ( as well as being hyper feminine) . They tend to give up the goat at around age 30, I never heard a woman over 30 with that voice.

I've noticed this on French radio when we've been on holiday. Female voices on radio ads often sound like children with a forced happy, sing-song style. I'm not sure I'm explaining it very well. It sounds very fake. Same thing with some female French singers. Child-like, little girl voices.

I can't say I've come across it outside of comedy skits, except when talking to children - lots of people (men and women) put on a high pitched, extra-happy tone when talking to toddlers/young kids.

Vocal fry I hadn't heard of or noticed until recently, when someone brought it up, and then suddenly I couldn't stop hearing it in the young women's voices on the teen pitched US shows.

My sister does this when talking to strangers. It’s like a telephone voice, but extra babyish and pleading. It makes my skin crawl. She also tells me off for using my normal, quite deep voice, because it sounds rude, or something. Her normal speaking voice is almost as deep as mine.

I used to live next door to a recently retired headmaster (ie 61) and his wife used to put on the Queenie accent from Blackadder. She even used the same language, ie “if I don’t get my own way then I thall thulk and thulk” with no sense of irony nor humour. We moved away and did not send DS to his former school.

I agree with Lass and Deux. And like Ewe, I naturally have a very ‘young’ voice, as does my mum. It’s not put on, I have to work hard to deepen and raise my voice teaching and it is unpleasant to think other women are judging me for it, I thought I only had to worry about men judging my young/girly voice. Sigh.

I know the voice you mean - some US youtubers talk like it. But I don't hear it in Australia. Maybe some people are a bit nasal (I'm in the country) but I don't hear any squeaky ones.

I have a naturally high voice but I've noticed it goes higher when I'm asking for things or speaking to people in a position of authority.

It's not on purpose but since noticing it, I'm trying hard to counter it and force myself not to only be audible to dolphins.

"Also called vocal fry , becoming 'the thing' with some teenagers"

My understanding is that vocal fry is something else entirely

Vocal fry is a vocal technique that can improve singing technique, it has a pleasant, gravelly sound that it the opposite to the little girl voice

OK just had a look at some youtube videos and realised that Naomi Wolf has claimed that vocal fry is unhelpful for women. I checked out the videos and the fry that women are using is a high pitched version of what I was taught in my singing classes.

What I find fascinating about this is that the deeper end of vocal fry (which can be vocalised by both men and women) can have a reassuring, almost hypnotic quality that can be found in some of the AMSR/ whispering videos

It is no secret that how people talk can be as important re influencing people than what they actually say. This is why politicians and influencers take lessons in how to change their tone of voice.

I think that by suggesting that vocal fry is impeding women's progress we may be throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Naomi Wolf's involvement in this debate strengthens my opinion in this respect.

Re the little girl voice the character Miss Trixie from the film Paper Moon comes to mind

Trixie's little girl voice influences the adult male in the film but the little girl knows what's going on and it doesn't wash with her.

I have a very high pitched voice and can sound quite childlike, especially on the phone but it is not put on at all. In fact i find it embarrassing and I wish I had a lower voice and have tried to change in the past unsuccessfully. I a man now wondering whether people assume I am putting it on

I live in Australia and have never noticed this?! I do know what you mean though and have an irritating person I used to know (from the UK) in mind!

I lived in Wiltshire for a time (in Posie country) and it was something I really noticed about the women I worked with. Not baby voices, but very high voices compared to me or other women I know. I thought it was just a way of speaking they grew up with.

Didn't bother me TBH

It’s not common. But it is very irritating. There is a difference between a naturally high voice an an effected girly voice.
Women refusing to talk to me as an adult is just as irritating as men talking to my husband rather than me, about my car for example.

I wouldn’t say it’s common.

Woman with naturally high-pitched voice: not annoying.

Woman with naturally lower-pitched voice, adopting a high-pitched baby voice in certain situations: very damn annoying. Especially when it comes with associated baby-speak.

The only example I can think of is my SIL speaking to her parents, and is a sign of their seriously fucked up family dynamic.

Also called vocal fry , becoming 'the thing' with some teenagers

Agree with lass, nasty thread dressed up as feminism.
The only time I’ve encountered this phenomenon it was a man putting on a child’s voice, wouldn’t say it’s gender specific, more person specific.

I think there’s an important distinction here.

Women (indeed anyone!) can not help their natural tone of voice - hence the comments re radio and women having “irritating voices” is misogynistic.

I think what OP is referring to here is women who artificially alter the tone / pitch of their voice to “baby speak” / “vulnerable princess” when in certain situations (typically around men) or even more frequently. I think we are debating why they switch that on and what they are looking to achieve. I find it very irritating too, especially in the workplace.

Lass if you have not come across it, perhaps you wont realise how disconcerting it is. You meet someone who you expect to talk to adult to adult, and instead they are using a strange girly flirty voice.

It has only happened to me twice, once a decade or so ago with another mum. The message given out was a sort of "poor little me". I found it puzzling and my instinct was to keep my distance.

So actually interesting for me to discover it is a thing and that others are similarly disconcerted.