Where is the hang wringing over Father’s Day?

Mayday19

Lassoffyvie as someone posting on FWR you hardly need me to tell you that free choice is a myth, we are all products of our environment and we grew up in a society where women are seen as the ones who take charge of social activity, present buying etc.

Oh fgs. We also have free will. Try using it. I have never , ever done anything for Fathers' Day or Mothers' Day. As for present buying, I only buy presents for my friends and family- it's up to my husband if he does for his family.

I'm really not sure what the point of all the consciousness raising feminism theory is if it never gets put into practice.

And for what it's worth I agree with the 2 , presumably male posters here, who have said most men aren't bothered by Fathers' day.

No it wasn't directed at you it was directed at the poster who chucked around sexist stereotypes.

Hth.

Lassoffyvie as someone posting on FWR you hardly need me to tell you that free choice is a myth, we are all products of our environment and we grew up in a society where women are seen as the ones who take charge of social activity, present buying etc.

Nothing like chucking a few sexist stereotypes around on FWR though eh

Not sure if that is directed at me but Chez Lass , Fathers' Day is treated with the same scorn as Mothers' Day.

Oh wow my DH would have been gutted if I didn't get the kids to do something for fathers day (they made cards).

OTOH I couldn't give a toss about mothers day.

Nothing like chucking a few sexist stereotypes around on FWR though eh.

Probs similar reasons that international women's day gets loads of criticism from angry men

While international men's day passes off without much complaint

Why women's charities etc are always told off for centering women, while men's can get on with their thing

(race for life is open to men now presumably to put a stop to all the shit they got from both mra and tra)

Why things for women in general eg women only sessions / gyms get accused of sexism when men's don't (yes there are men only gyms in UK, dad's coffee mornings etc).

It's because women are generally in the wrong, and need to continuously justify everything we have and do. While men are allowed to just get on with things.

I think that's why.

Father’s Day - another day when mothers organise everything, gifts/food/activities. Just like birthdays. Mother’s Day - one day when mothers hopesomeone elsehas taken on the emotional load and organised something for them

It's up to you (general you) if you want to make a rod for your own back from these pointless and largely ( in the case of Fathers' Day, entirely) commercially invented days.

I loathe the concept of Mothers' Day. I chose to be a mother. I chose to parent in, as I saw it , the best way I can. That was my choice. I don't need to be thanked for it.

So men have nothing to do with it, generally don't want anything to do with it and think it's a crock and a money making exercise. And yet it's still their fault. Never change FWR

True, dat, sounds about right

@Mayday19 I don’t want my wife to do anything. All the men I know think the same. So who’s making/pressuring women to do it?

If women need a nominated day to be given a day off. The issue isn’t with Father’s Day!

So men have nothing to do with it, generally don't want anything to do with it and think it's a crock and a money making exercise. And yet it's still their fault. Never change FWR

But I think OP is meaning fathers are allowed to celebrate their day guilt free whereas mothers need to be sure not to inadvertently upset anyone else through their celebration.

Father’s Day - another day when mothers organise everything, gifts/food/activities. Just like birthdays. Mother’s Day - one day when mothers hope someone else has taken on the emotional load and organised something for them.
(Obviously, namalt, nawalt etc)

Men generally don’t care as much. Similarly birthdays. (In my experience.)

Look at the number of posts were women are moaning about the kids not doing enough for Father’s Day. No mention of what the blokes think, no doubt couldn’t care less. It’s women blow these occasions out of proportion, not men.

@ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASaving

Absolutely, yes

I'm a dad. Father's Day is a load of bollocks.

Every Mother’s day I see so many posts on social media....

There's your problem, OP. Get off it, it's poison. People posting and reposting bullshit instead of getting on with their lives. With Mumsnet being the obvious exception, of course

My point is that there is a very stark difference between how each day is treated on social media. In one case it is a celebration and in the other it is a warning not to celebrate too much. It is sexism

Who is making these comments which trouble you so much? I'd guess most are women. As for Mothers ' Day not being celebrated, whilst I think the concepts of Mothers' Day and Fathers' are both utterly ridiculous it is impossible to avoid noticing the ridiculous amount of advertising and promotion which goes on for Mothers' Day. It is less so for Fathers' Day.

I'm really not sure what the point of your thread is beyond - oh here's something else to moan about how hard it is being a woman.

^ Sorry meant to bold Lass's quote

This was on my local NCT page. Lots of friends have lost fathers so are acknowledging that on fb and some friends acknowledging it's a difficult day for others.

On the whole you are right though OP.

*society acknowledges that failing to conceive/ miscarriage is traumatic and painful for women"
That's true, but there aren't the same social pressures put on men to become "breeders".
The "batchelor" has very different (positive) connotations compared to "the spinster".

I know that my dear!

That's OK then my love, you had me worried there for a minute as it wasn't clear

The Daily Mash? That's a satire page and news, it's not real! I know that my dear! Twas a case of "many a true word spoken in jest"

I think some of us remember when Waitrose did this
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3190799-Waitrose-in-the-Sunday-Times-mothers-day-name-change-announced

And other outlets have since followed suit to be "more inclusive" during mother's Day, but oddly enough Waitrose never bothered with the same for Father's day.

Yup, men get lauded for the little they manage and women get derided for not being %100 perfection?

If one wanted to take either day seriously I suppose there is the issue that society acknowledges that failing to conceive/ miscarriage is traumatic and painful for women. Therefore on social media a woman saying Mother's Day is upsetting will be met with a degree of sympathy. There is nothing like the same degree of sympathy for a man who, for whatever reason, has not been able to be a father.

Because not knowing or having a relationship with your father is more common and more normalised than not having a relationship with your mother....for whatever reason.