Boundaries and Allies

And I never quietly 'accommodated' TW in female spaces, no-one ever asked me. The answer would have been NO then and is NO now.

This ^^

No one asked me or any collective of women, they just went ahead and women started having to avert their eyes, keep their heads down and do what they can not to draw attention to themselves.

In.Their.Own.Spaces.

Hi tinselangel, I suspect the transwidows thread has a lot of lurkers, I see it as a self-help support group, so wouldn't want to comment on it. Mainly because I don't want your experiences spoken over by people like me who haven't had that experience.

I think it would be quite reasonable for women to refer to their husbands, perhaps the fathers of their children, as 'he'. You're talking about YOUR OWN LIFE, FFS.

Yes, Doctoress, I feel that how the use of preferred pronouns affects trans widows is an important part of the debate. But it's a debate that is impossible to have without "misgendering" so I don't know where we can have it.

I read Tinsel and am appalled by the behaviour of so many of the exHs on there, it's such a valuable thread. Really provides a lot of sunlight to expose the lies we are increasingly supposed to believe.

Tinsel, I haven't read the transwidow threads but thank you for everything you're doing.

At this rate we'll end up with the only people reading the threads being us, and those of our ex's that monitor them

Yes, I agree with Tinsel, Barracker, Spartacus and the vast majority of women on here. I don't consent and my daughters don't consent to men in women's spaces. No men, no XY males, no-one with the material biological reality of a human male. No matter what they wear, do to their bodies or feel.

And I never quietly 'accommodated' TW in female spaces, no-one ever asked me. The answer would have been NO then and is NO now.

Yes Spartacus I think there's been movement even since this recent thread:

Debbie Hayton in the TES www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3582158-debbie-hayton-in-the-tes

I'm just going to add my voice to Barracker and say that I DO NOT EVER consent to males in female spaces. I don't care if you think you're nice

Well, that's the thing. If they're actually nice they'll understand all this & not use female spaces.

Tinsel, I haven't read the transwidow threads but thank you for everything you're doing.

And yes, absolutely. In here, we need to be prioritising the women whose lives have been impacted by transgenderism. Not the males who identify as transgender.

I'm just going to add my voice to Barracker and say that I DO NOT EVER consent to males in female spaces. I don't care if you think you're nice, that you think we won't notice, that you've got a piece of paper that says you're a woman, or if you've had your genitals removed. I DO NOT CONSENT, and like Barracker, I am telling my daughter that any man who rides over women's boundaries by encroaching on these spaces is dangerous.

I think women woke up ages ago but because we're programmed to be nice and kind we only spoke in our very close trustworthy circles about what we really thought about dh, and I'm sure many of us were Gaslighted in dm by the good dh.

Finally the truth is coming out and we're fed up of being nice to people who are laughing at us behind our backs and pretending to be an ally in public.

Thanks for starting this thread DancingRaven.

These threads always feel like they end up with me and R0, shouting into the void. Maybe after this one, those contributors to FWR and other feminist spaces who continue to laud transsexual "allies" as stunning and brave will start to wise the fuck up and give priority to the views of women.

TinselAngel I wasn't doing that, just trying to explain why I haven't ever engaged with those threads. I assumed, maybe wrongly, that the women posting there would want privacy to discuss such painful situations with each other, without other people butting in.

I can't answer for other people, but having dipped into one of those threads once I backed off, and would certainly never have posted to it, as it felt too intrusive even reading it.

Is the rest of FWR a welcoming & comfortable space where the women who post on 'transwidows' threads are able to share their knowledge, insight & experiences?

'Transwidows' threads seem a vitally important protected support space. However, as Tinsel often points out, the needs / celebration /prioritisation of some male TS on FWR threads represents a barrier & a containment of the voices of women whose families have been directly impacted by transgenderism.

Please don't discourage people from reading the Trans Widows threads. That would bury our voices even further.

Ah, I see it is. I went off down the rabbit hole of the other thread linked to last night. I was particularly struck by TinselAngel's remarks about the transwidow threads, about being isolated. I can't answer for other people, but having dipped into one of those threads once I backed off, and would certainly never have posted to it, as it felt too intrusive even reading it.

Is this thread still open?