make up and 6yo DD - what to do?

333 replies

resisterpersister · 27/05/2019 11:25

Please help me deal with this situation!

DD's cousins came to visit yesterday, and gave 6yo DD a make up set. The cousins rarely visit and I didn't feel up to souring the visit by rejecting the gift in front of them. So she spent yesterday with her cousins, covering themselves with make up. She bloody loves it. First thing she did this morning? Put more make up on.

Lots of DD's classmates are allowed to play with make up, but she knows I won't buy it for her. I don't wear it myself. I talk to her in an age appropriate way about why I don't like make up and don't wear it.

If it was up to me, this would never have come in the house! But it's here now. I could just take it away, but I'm worried that'll make it into a huge thing, I'm not sure if that'll achieve anything other than make her want it more and feel she's been treated unjustly (and, oh, do I remember the times I felt my parents were being unjust to me!)

I suppose I could let her play with it for a few days till she forgets about it and then quietly "lose" it. (Is that cowardly?)

I could impose boundaries around it (what?). She's already said she wants to wear it to school every day and I've said errr... no!

We've been talking a bit about why adults wear make up, and I've told her about how if you wear make up every day, it's a bit like it casts a spell on you and you feel you can't go outside without wearing it, and we talked about how much of a pain that would be if her friend came round to ask her to play, but she missed out because she couldn't just leave the house.

What do I do, oh wise FWR women? I want to just throw the bloody thing away, but I'm worried about creating a bigger deal out of it and making it an even greater object of desire!

The age on the box say 5+ . Who makes this stuff FFS?

OP posts:

Justhadathought · 27/05/2019 11:35

I paint my toe nails...and have also painted the toe nails of my granddaughter, who is four. She quite likes girly things, but is also very sporty and physically active and confident. She has been invited to quite a few birthday parties since she started nursery - all mixed sex until the latest one - which was girls only. She seemed to really enjoy that. And I can understand why. When I was a child, all of my birthday parties were girls only too.

I went to a girls only school too. I loved it.

TheBullshitGoesOn · 27/05/2019 11:33

My DD(8) loves playing with make up. I don't wear it.

I have imposed boundaries - never wearing it to school, for example. But other than that I leave her to it. She tends to have a flurry of interest for a few days, then it gets left untouched for weeks.

But I have no idea whether that is a good approach or not.

ChequersDog · 27/05/2019 11:33

My DD plays with make up, but I don’t let her go out of the house wearing it. It’s just like any other toy at home. My DS did the same and he sometimes still does with my DD. They also go through it really quickly as they use so much.

MadameJosephine · 27/05/2019 11:31

My 6 year old DD was also given some as a gift so I rebranded it as ‘face paints’ and we put it in the dressing up box.

sleepismysuperpower1 · 27/05/2019 11:30

she's just playing around with makeup (i presume the kiddy stuff?) my oldest dd (now 15) did this and she can most definitely leave the house without makeup. she enjoys wearing it, but doesn't feel dependent on it in any way. I wouldn't let her wear it out and about (rule was that dd had to wipe it off before going outside), but surely experimenting with it in the house is fine? she won't play with it every day anyway. the novelty will wear off.

Justhadathought · 27/05/2019 11:30

I'd just go along with it for as long as it is a 'thing'. To her it's probably like face painting; and the truth is is she has probably already internalised the 'girls are pretty' thing, anyway.

she'll lose interest after a while, and you could hide it away. I wouldn't be too worried, as long as she also is exposed to and given the opportunity for other types of play and activity. It is just experimentation.

KatvonHostileExtremist · 27/05/2019 11:29

She'll forget about it soon. I bet you.

Xmasbaby11 · 27/05/2019 11:27

I think I'd take it away until she's older.

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