make up and 6yo DD - what to do?

It's pretty basic feminism - isn't it?

No. I can be a feminist whilst still wearing makeup. It's incredibly narrow minded to think otherwise.

I wouldnt overthink it. Shes 6. She will probably smear some blue eyeshadow on a few times and then hardly ever bother for a few more years.
My dd is a total tomboy and mini feminist but she still plays with makeup at times. Its not to make herself sexually attractive. Its just playing around with facepaints.

"Casts a spell" you are being ridiculous, I have a large amount of makeup, have worn it for years though can function very well without it and leave the house with a bare face more times than not

I don't wear make up 95% of the time but sometimes I fancy putting a bit on.

I'm teaching DD that make up is optional, we don't HAVE to wear it to be women but we can if we want.

So far at 5yo she sometimes puts lip balm on and says it's her lipstick but it's occasional. She's had her nails painted a few times and likes it but forgets very quickly.

I would pay little to no attention to the play make up, don't make a fuss, just have it be another toy that she plays with and forgets.

MountainWitch thank you for understanding. flowers I posted this in FWR as I wanted help knowing how to deal with this, not a bunch of people telling me I was making a fuss out of nothing!

actually OP, it feels like you are looking for approval and for people to agree with your views on makeup rather than contradict them. I understand that you are looking for advice and 'a bunch of people' answered (as you so kindly put it), but you have pointed out where they are going wrong, and why you disagree about their views, rather than taking their advice.

I wouldn't bother responding to this thread if you have slightly differing views. I certainly won't be again.

MountainWitch thank you for understanding. flowers I posted this in FWR as I wanted help knowing how to deal with this, not a bunch of people telling me I was making a fuss out of nothing!

To be honest, I think you are very ungracious. You started a thread and people responded in good faith based on their own experiences. And now you are calling us a " bunch of people". I'd be rude, if I was by nature. but I'm not.

Surely you just let her play with it on the rule that she doesn't wear it to school ?
That's what we did and said teen does not wear make up now at all.
We didn't make it a huge deal.

Random quiz - men from which UK city, do you think use the most make up?

Liverpool? Many young men and women here are obsessed with clothes, hair, cosmetics and looking 'good'.

I hear you OP. I would feel similarly and despise make up marketed at little girls.
I think the idea above of making it a dressing up box item is great. It'll get used up quickly and then obviously don't replace.
Despite my feminism I have internalised beauty and body myths and dislike going makeup-free. The pervasive idea of women even having 'facial flaws' to camouflage is depressing. (I'm not talking about makeup used in cases of burns, scarring, etc)
Freckles, the 'wrong' skin shade, redness in the 'wrong' places, patchy eyebrows, short eyelashes, etc are all such 'flaws'.

My daughter had to wear mascara for a dance show. She rubbed her eyes and it went everywhere. She still tells me she doesn't want to wear makeup when she's older and definitely not mascara.

Would you say the same about toys that encouraged racist stereotypes? (eg gollywogs)

I'm not quite sure what you are saying? You asked for advice and/or opinions, but obviously this is a trigger issue for you.

I had a gollywog as a child; they were common then. Now they are not for understandable reasons. I don't think you could buy one now even if you wanted.

I also, as a child, used to watch the Black & White Minstrel Show and 'Love Thy Neighbour'. Those were the sorts of programmes that were out at the time. I don't think I turned out inherently racist. Society develops and moves on, and so do the people within it.

You will do what you will do, and you will have to develop your own rationale for that.

My gay friends (male) wear make up what does that say about them.

My DD was obsessed with make up at 6. She grew out of it largely. Now she’s 11 and has a fair bit of make up but chooses not to wear it, for the most part. She goes through phases where she spends an hour or so, trying out theatrical looks but she doesn’t even ask to wear it every day.

I’m a feminist, I am bringing my DD and DS to be feminists. I’m also allowing them to find out what they like for themselves.

I’m no less of a feminist because I wear make up most days, wear a bra religiously and like heels.

The way make up is normally used, is all about women conforming to sexist stereotypes.

I would disagree with this. Some women do use makeup to hide facial flaws (which would otherwise make them feel uncomfortable and insecure- so makeup is providing a confidence boost for them.), But others view makeup as an art form. It allows them to express themselves through bright colours and bold lines.

What would you do if a relative bought your child a gift that you thought was wholly inappropriate and based on values you disagreed with, but which your child loved?

I have three grown up children; a girl and two boys. The boys definitely were attracted to guns and weapons that they played with at friend's houses - so i bought then swords ( which i saw as more 'honourable' weapons). They still created guns with sticks though, if we went on woodland walks. One of my sons was in the school's army cadet force - which he loved. He loved camping and survival stuff - and still does.

Your children will be who they are and will, mostly, model your values.

I'm a feminist, and I love make up, because I think of it as a method of self expression, as a way to express my creativity and mood, and I think there's a risk we devalue female creativity if we automatically assume make up, fashion etc should be rejected. Where it gets dangerous is the connection with value and self worth, which is hugely influenced by society as you point out earlier.

Trying to pitch this for your six year old, could you explain it to her as 'make up is fine for expressing yourself / being creative, but you must be very careful not to rely on it for your confidence/ power. The things that should be a source of your Elsa-like powers / self-confidence should come from the things you can do and how well you can treat other people - if it's coming from your appearance/ make up it isn't real power, it's just pretend'.