make up and 6yo DD - what to do?

It makes me look better and feel more confident. No big deal in that really is there

Well yes. Subtext being you don’t think you look good enough, or pretty enough without make up. You need to wear make up to feel your looks are acceptable enough to go out.

Men don’t think like this. Make up doesn’t give them confidence. They think their own, unenhanced faces are fine.

Why have women been indoctrinated into thinking their own skin and natural looks aren’t good enough.

Nearly every person I know looks equally fine without make up as with it. I know lots of people who get pleasure out of the routine and using make up. But when it is needed to even leave the house, then yes, it is a big deal.

There's a whole heap of damaging messaging in adverts...you can't hide kids away from all of them. All you can do is teach them critical ev skills, personal confidence, a sense of worth, how to navigate this stuff, about stereotypes etc. I can't see how hiding specific things (which are very common) will make any sort of difference in the long run. I wouldn't want to freak my daughter out or make her think she has to hide her interests or preferences (or even her curiosities) from me, or even push her toward specific things by being all hard line about it. That's me though.

I get your concerns OP. I haven't had the same issue yet with my DDs, thankfully. I do wear make-up myself but I don't want to encourage it.

I would just let her play with it in the house for a few days. It will probably get wrecked/become boring. Using it more like face paints is a good idea. Maybe do her like a clow n or a tiger, or draw pictures she likes on her face?

What about making it into a fancy dress type game rather than a "pretty girl" thing.... so get a face paint too and she can dress up as a superhero or an animal... so it turns the focus from having pretty pink lipstick to something more creative?

That is a sensible answer. I'm not sure the OP is looking for sensible answers.

I like the idea of treating it as a “dressing up” item. But I think some of the attitudes to make up on this thread are really disparaging to women (myself included) who choose to wear make up. I thought feminism was meant to be all about choice?

What about making it into a fancy dress type game rather than a "pretty girl" thing.... so get a face paint too and she can dress up as a superhero or an animal... so it turns the focus from having pretty pink lipstick to something more creative?

Can we all take a breath she is 6 if her mum thinks she is too young for make up that is up to girls don't need to be playing with make up at 6 the op can take it away if she wants tbh I don't know what the visitors were thinking about maybe trying to make a point?

I would never leave the house without make up unless I was just going to my mums house or something. School run, shops etc I will always wear some makeup. It makes me look better and feel more confident. No big deal in that really is there.

They grew up to take degrees in maths and business management respectively, and have highly paid careers

Whoop de doo. I was and still am as girly as you could get. You'd hate me. I have a highly paid career in what is still at the higher level, male dominated.

Would you say the same about toys that encouraged racist stereotypes? (eg gollywogs)

As others have said there is no valid comparison between the 2.

I raised my DDs as feminists. There were no stereotypical girly toys in the house

That is just as narrow minded as saying girls should not have "boys'" toys and vice versa.

My DM would not allow me to wear make up short skirts two piece swimsuits, only sluts wear those, she actually cut up my teenage clothes with scissors. Boys are only after one thing she said so wait until my wedding night.

Did that make her a feminist (rolls eyes)

I think it's hard to resist the social pressures and norms amongst young girls to play with make up and dress up. She's not likely to be putting it on everyday so I'd just let it be. It will be broken and messy and discarded before you know it.

But I am an one of those feminists who wears make up and dyes her hair! And my DD18 who was never much bothered by it when younger does too - not everyday. But that's our choice.

Set a strict line that she can play with it in the house but isn't allowed out the house in it.

She will loose interest if you don't make a big deal of it.

Of makeup was marketed towards young boys too, I would care less. As it is, it does promote the feminine stereotype.

Well, this elderly feminist is absolutely with you, OP. I detest make up and the whole sexist industry pushing it.
I think I would have had a discussion with the cousins about why on Earth they thought it appropriate to plaster chemical crap on DD’s face - did they think she was so ugly she needed to be concealed under a layer of pore clogging slime?
I raised my DDs as feminists. There were no stereotypical girly toys in the house. They grew up to take degrees in maths and business management respectively, and have highly paid careers.
DD1 as a teenager had a Goth phase and used threatening black and dark green make up to deliberately put off unwanted attention from creepy old males hitting on schoolgirls, and now only uses it when doing cosplay at SF conventions.
I’m retired now, but when I was an anaesthetist I was always upset by the number of women patients who turned up in theatre in full make up, and were distraught at having to take it off, saying they never dared leave home without it. Every single one of them looked far nicer with it removed- our sexist society had really done a number on their self confidence to sell them that shit.

I rarely wear make up and have little interest in it. However I let my 2 dd's play with make up.
Kids learn best by imitating others particularly those close to them so by you showing that as a female you don't have to wear make up they are likely to follow in your footsteps.
I have one dd who enjoys wearing make up but she's very into clothes/artistic and she looks great. The other dd doesn't wear any make up at all and looks great too.
I can understand you be concerned about girls 'having to wear make up' but there is a massive difference between choosing to wear some make up and being unable to go out without it
I would spend more time building up their self esteem/ confidence rather than banning things (which may well backfire).

Look you don't want her to have it take it off her she is 6 years old she doesn't need a make up set.

Sorry that posted too soon. Saying that, 6 is so young and you don't want her trying to put it on every day so maybe just say it's for dressing up?

I have three grown up children; a girl and two boys. The boys definitely were attracted to guns and weapons. They still created guns with sticks though

I have a girl like this. All about nerf guns, light sabres, cross bows, arrows, anything vaguely weapon like.

And if your boys had liked make up?

I think that’s the issue for me. Boys would be actively discouraged, have the make up taken off them immediately, if they were given it in the first place.

It is a very clear message that make up and altering your image to a “better” version is for girls. Boys don’t need to use make up, they’re fine as they are and looks aren’t as important.

Fwiw i have never denied mine make up. But like pp it was treated like face paint- i have tried to send the message that make up isn’t about improving or “enhancing”, it’s creating an image to project that others will respond to differently. I’d rather see my child go full goth or disco than use make up to try and make herself “prettier”.

For the same reason I like men in make up. It challenges norms and that makes me happy :). Plus I grew up in the 80’s with adam ant and robert smith being the height of sexiness...

I didn't suggest you couldn't be a feminist while wearing make up, why do you think I did?

Your whole thread is based on it being the wrong path to actually wear make up. I'm really shocked that you've such a grievance against it!!

Men go on sunbeds wear make up these days. What is a gym but a body buffing exercise.

Sling it in the dressing up box. Children of either sex will enjoy playing with it.