I would also like to thank Barracker for her brilliant article which she ends with "And more than anything, I owe this to girls. I don’t want to play even the tiniest part in grooming them to disregard their natural protective instincts. Those instincts are there for a reason. To keep them safe. They need those instincts intact, and sharp.
And that’s why I won’t use preferred pronouns."
I will also take no part in the grooming of girls and nor will I take part in lying to girls either.
My concern is primarily for the impact on sexually abused girls, as I was a girl who was groomed, abused and raped.
One of the reasons that I will no longer use preferred pronouns is because I will not contribute to something that will add to the confusion of sexually abused children and risks them feeling unable to speak out about their abuse.
A child who has been groomed and sexually abused, perhaps from a very young age, will usually, as she matures, begin to understand that what is happening to her is wrong. She will also start to wonder how she can stop or escape the abuse. She will weigh up what might happen if she does speak up and she will recognise that she may be the only person who recognises and understands the truth about what/who her abuser is.
There are many reasons why a sexually abused girl may not speak up and they will include the fear that the result of speaking up will be worse even than the abuse, the fear of being disbelieved and the fear that the adults around her will not be able to handle the truth; that she needs to protect adults from the truth.
A sexually abused girl may also develop an acute awareness about the risks that males present to her and also develop a trauma-response to males in certain circumstances, especially when she feels vulnerable. She may have heightened awareness that what is important to safeguard herself from sexual assault. She knows that all males may pose a risk and that there is no way of knowing which one may attempt based on their demeanour, appearance, position in society or anything else.
How therefore, do we as expect her to speak up when she is being told, or it is being implied with the use of pronouns, by teachers that males can be females and that a person is whoever they identify themselves to be?
How can we expect her to feel that the adult world can handle the truth, when it doesn't even seem to understand that the males that she reacts to are definitely male, even if they identify themselves as female?
How do can we expect her to trust the adults around her if she feels compelled to use pronouns that don't reflect her own recognition of the facts?
How can we expect her to trust adults who ignore her need for same-sex spaces and who contribute to her exclusion, because of their own desires to to be progressive or their misguided attempts to be inclusive.
I will not contribute to the grooming of girls to ignore their emerging and fragile boundaries and instincts and I will not contribute to sexually abused girls being abused for longer because the adult world around them cannot be trusted by her, to recognise and understand the truth.