Risk assessments regarding clothing shop changing rooms

I've already had quite an unproductive / unpleasant exchange with someone from M&S about this. They kept on going on about being 'inclusive' and I kept pointing out that their policies were not inclusive of women like me and my young daughters, and that the number of women and girls who feel that way probably outnumber the people they're trying to be 'inclusive' to.

Also, why not a unisex changing room as well as single sex, that would be inclusive of everyone, but no that's no good. It has to be a mixed sex space masquerading as women only - but it seems to me the ONLY people this helps are those who get off on violating female boundaries. Why isn't a third space an option? There is never any answer. That tells you a lot, I think. The lack of critical thinking is quite depressing.

I hope that one of the people who suffers filming or indecent exposure in an inaccurately labelled mixed sex space has deep pockets and sues.

I wish for this too, not that I would want anyone to suffer but I do think it will take an extreme and very public incident to happen and for mainstream media to cover it before anyone sits up and takes notice. Some pretty horrible things have happened already and still no one cares.

In the meantime, let's write lots of angry letters to catalogue our warnings.

What I want the high street to do is create three changing areas: Male,
Female, Unisex (for the above and for anyone else who isn't sure what they are). If you go into Unisex then you enter knowing it's a mixed sex space and no one is under any illusions of it being single sex.

This. The thing I object to most is the lying. Changing rooms labelled 'mens' and 'womens' when they are in fact unisex. I want single sex spaces, it has been shown time and again that these are necessary to encourage girls to go to school and for women to participate in public life, but I think tricking women into mixed sex spaces which are labelled single sex is worse - this is what M&S etc are doing. And I hope that one of the people who suffers filming or indecent exposure in an inaccurately labelled mixed sex space has deep pockets and sues.

You've inspired me OP, earliest opportunity I get will write similar emails to the high street shops I frequent. I'll borrow your text and post any replies I receive.

You are not alone.

I simply cannot understand why they wouldn't carry out a risk assessment for these circumstances, it's blind misogyny.

I totally understand why you cannot go public so maybe there is something that can be done anonymously. Please do write to the insurers and write to them with the numerous examples of where women and girls have been at risk in similar circumstances with the recent Uk examples, there's hardly a shortage of examples to raise.

Hi OP, can you list the number of times a man has been caught in a changing room doing horrible things and it's been reported in the news? Their response sounds like "go ahead, try me" to me. They haven't done a risk assessment so basically their customers don't matter. I bet the majority of their customer are female.

Please keep going. Would you consider going to the local media?

Sorry about the SPAG. 😳

I know it’s not quite the same, but I’m currently on a bus. An obvious and understandably mixed sex mode of transport. I was just thinking about the TWO separate occasions that I had men, not just expose themselves to me but actually masturbate. I was very young and on both occasions sitting at the back of the bus. I just sat there feeling sick and afraid. I told no one on the bus. That’s because I was embarrassed at the thought of people’s reactions. ‘Had I caused it? Was it my fault for sitting there? Etc’

I now know it was nothing I did and the reason I didn’t do anything was because I’d was the daughter of a paedophilic and had been taught to be afraid and shut up.

I’m now a 51yr old woman and I would still rather stand than sit at the back of a bus. You can get to fuck if you think I’m going to hand over Female rights and spaces to men.

Its simple really.

Women are much more alert to possible danger than men. If they dont feel safe, they won't go. High Street shops cannot afford t lose customers. Nor can leisure centres.

So a group of school girls in Top Shop spy someone they perceive as "creepy". They don't complain, they just don't go back. Ditto the teacher taking a primary school class swimming. If she and her assistant feel that they can no longer protect the safety of 30 excited children in what has become a mixed sex changing room, they don't return.

People should be concerned about a sudden shift in policy from encouraging women and girls to lead more active lives, and encouraging women and girls from more conservative communities to take part in activities outside the home to aid community cohesion, but clearly not. The Stonewall misogynists don't care. For them it is all about the Trans. (And that, Ruth, is why you betrayed us so badly.)

However women spend money. One exhibitionist person from the outer rim of the Stonewall umbrella will deter plenty of people. There is some statistic of how negative customer experiences travel far further than positive ones. Men may tell us we should not mind, but if we don't enjoy our shopping or swimming experience, we may not say anything but the venue loses revenue. It becomes all-lose, just because a relatively small number of people are not prepared to go through the current GRA gatekeeping processes nor spend about the same as elderly people need to spend for Power of Attorney documents.

With the added bonus that if the usual suspects who shout down women, outside women's meetings, turn up as counter-demonstration then it let's everyone see just how gentle and feminine they are.

outandabout

I agree

Our single sex changing rooms seem to be changing to miixed sex...no intention of advising the customers

I keep banging the same drum, because I honestly believe that the only reason ships and gyms are so contemptuous of women's concerns is be ause most of their customers aren't aware what the policy is regarding mixed sex spaces. I believe that leafleting or stickers outside stores that have dismissed women's concerns might change attitudes.

I get confused with the term gas lighting...can i just check

So someone saying that its impossible to have same sex changing rooms and toilets when we've had then for 50/60/70 years would be gaslighting...yeah?

My plan with changing rooms would be carrying on with then as they are, really really don’t understand why now its so difficult

Well M&S have a trans person doing bra fitting in one of their flagship stores, so don’t hold your breath for them to have an analysis that involves women’s right to privacy based on sex.