What do others do? Long queues for women's loos....

When I was younger I used to cover the loo seat in toilet paper before sitting down or just squat over the loo. You can pick up herpes from a toilet seat ( I've been told). Now i just don't use public loos at all, and certainly never unisex 🚽.

I'd rather men could walk freely in and out of their own toilets than have them queuing equally with us

In this case I preferred it, i can see where it wouldn't work sometimes

As everyone else (nearly) has said, I wait. I blame the toilet designers for not realising that more space should be given to women's toilets as women are bound to take longer (due to a host of reasons - no option to use the speedy urinal option/more clothes removal; more likely to have children in tow (2 wees for the price of one); more likely to be dealing with periods and post birth continence issues; requirements for feminine hair/make up checks etc etc) But I don't blame 'men', or expect them to share their facilities. As others have said, the only time I break this rule is for single cubicle toilets.

The worst queue for toilets I've been in was sky garden London. Unisex toilets with washbasin in each cubicle. At least normally I'm only queuing behind women who need a pee. I'd rather men could walk freely in and out of their own toilets than have them queuing equally with us.

I wait. Men's toilets are for men (and women's for women).

This point needs to be made to architects etc - that equality doesn’t mean equal space that doesn’t take into account the different needs of each sex, nor that women will often be the ones taking children in.

Men can piss in a confined space. Women need room for their bag, somewhere to hang their coat (I can’t piss with a big winter coat on) and a san pro bin that I don’t have to sit on.

But I wouldn’t use the gents after this experience. I was at a children ballet show and unsurprisingly the queue for the ladies was huge. I sent DH into the gents to see if it had cubicles and that the coats was clear. We nipped in and used one of the cubicles (there was a woman and a child in the other cubicle, I could hear them).

When we came out there was a queue of women and kids inside the gents, and an elderly gent standing at the urinal. You could tell from his back that he was absolutely frozen. I daresay when he’d come in he thought the place was empty.

Slight derail but I've just seen this in twitter. I want some of those stickers.

twitter.com/esjayxx/status/1125813832763564033?s=21

I have shot into the gents about 3 times in my life - one where I had to take a desperate (young, male) child and I'd sent him in, but then the cleaner came and got me because he was wailing for help, once at a biker rally when the queues were huge, and the men actually encouraged us to pop in, and once in an empty building when for some reason the women's was locked.

I have also encountered men in a womens more than once - once in an office with barely any women, and this one bloke used to use the women's for a holiday poo, and once, similarly in a University building that was majority male, where the men in one of the labs got used to popping into the generally empty closest toilets, which happened to be women's.

I think that on balance, if the toilets are that busy, I would expect someone to invite some women across - perhaps in shifts to avoid any one's embarrassment - I've definitely seen that happen at a motorbike race.

redexpat also the fact that we have to physically drop trew, drop knickers, sit down, do the job, wipe, get dressed again and wash our hands, takes way longer than it takes the average bloke to unzip, whip it out and pee!

I read an article years ago (I really wish id saved it!) that said that due to the way women are built the physical process of peeing takes longer - on average twice as long. Therefor to give equal access women should have double the number of toilets. But we dont.

I’ve used the men’s on a couple of occasions - once when I was very pregnant and genuinely feared I would piss myself, and once when I was tipsy in a club and there was a big queue for the ladies and no one in the men’s....I was promptly escorted out by a bouncer

But you aren't using the gents as a form of direct action. You are using it for convenience. Regardless of the invasion of privacy of the men in there.

So you have grounds to complain when men go into the ladies toilet for convenience.

I wait, but have no issues with holding it. Just asked dh if he'd mind, he said he was at a urinal once when a female cleaner came in - he zipped up without going, just couldn't pee with her in there. I think we all deserve a bit of privacy from the opposite sex when going to the toilet.

I suppose the question, OP, is do you think if the situation is reversed, is it ok for men to do the same?

I totally accept the need for single sex spaces.... the fact that I use the Men's is a protest when queues are long(and I'm busting) not a statement that Men can walk into Women's .... that would just be ridiculous

Aren't you just saying that we need sex segregated spaces - unless it inconveniences you, in which case it's fine to not have segregated spaces?

Surely you can see the damage you are doing to the argument? Basically, women can't need sex segregated spaces that much if they are happy to use the gents whenever it suits them?

Hold it and think of the benefits for my pelvic floor, and the privacy of them men who don’t want women in their private space. (Also I wonder why aren’t women’s toilets built at a ratio of 2:1 with men’s.)

Well the women on here who have no qualms about using the mens toilets can't start complaining when men use the womens can they?

There's a bit of a difference if your reason for using the men's loos is because you're busting and the ratios of loos aren't in the right proportion to what's needed.
But i think it's a two wrongs don't make a right situation. There need to be single sex loos in the right proportions (and accessible of course, ideally also parent and child and unisex cubicles)

I go in the men's.

Toilets is where I don't really agree with the majority on FWR. I'd be a hypocrite to say otherwise. I mean I'd prefer people stuck to single sex loos but needs must.

Don't shout at me, cos there's no point!

When I was younger and had a social life I would use the gents if it had cubicles. I wasn't going to put up and wait nicely.

Well the women on here who have no qualms about using the mens toilets can't start complaining when men use the womens can they?

At our local (and very popular) shopping outlet there is ALWAYS a queue a mile long and I recently saw a girl (around 3/4) wet herself whilst waiting in it

Aw :/
I usually let parents of small children go ahead of me, as well as anyone who appears to be in distress.

Although I would hope people who genuinely cannot hold due to injury, illness or age are able to make use of accessible facilities? Obviously those who need the additional space/supports are the priority, but accessible loos are for more than just mobility impaired people...

Shopping centres/swimming pools would probably find increased customer satisfaction by providing mixed sex ‘family’ facilities wherever possible, relocating changing tables and thus freeing up accessible loos. As well as some single user facilities for anyone who doesn’t want to use their birth sex loo for whatever reason. This should be the ideal to aim at for all public spaces/businesses.

Obviously not possible in small businesses, and ‘family’ will be unnecessary for nightclubs, but the social sphere has changed, with more mums out of the house/on the go, more dads in charge of childcare, more understanding of disability needs and minority groups.

I’m totally cool with more options, I’m just not cool with discarding existing options that are still preferred by the majority.

At the theatre recently a chap suggested to me that I use the gents as it was empty and the queue for the ladies was very long and the interval was almost over. I and another lady nipped into the gents, I went into the cubicle first, a bloke came in and the other woman bottled it and left. I shouted from the cubicle that I was coming out, washed my hands, thanked the chap in there and left.

Used to do the same when I was as Univeristy and drinking in the Union bar.

No one minded.

Oh ok

That's interesting goose