I've lost my daughter to trans activism

How dare your daughter have her own opinions on things

This thread was started over a year ago.
@slipperywhensparticus how is it going?

It's the be kind socialisation at work. Fingers crossed, she has enough critical thinking to make her way through eventually.

Maybe steer her to Magdalene Burns YouTube videos?

Anecdotally seems to be young women who are much more supportive of this than young men. Or maybe that's just my firmly common sense science based lads who have no truck with it at all.

Our local Youth Pride was online this year and I decided to check it out.

Nearly all of it was about being trans, including a 12 year old local girl who was put on puberty blockers after being told they're completely reversible.

It's relentless and soul-destroying. I could weep for those kids.

They're being brainwashed and nothing we say or do seems to make a difference.

I'm so sorry about what's happening to your daughter. We should be rioting in the streets.

she will come through eventually but it may take years, the grooming at uni is immense

Tell her your trans race. Assuming you’re white, That you really feel you’re black because you love watermelon and just have a general black sense. Will she support your demand, for your IDs to be changed saying you’re black? To have your birth certificate changed to say zimbabwe and gain your birth right to citizenship? Will she support you in skin pigmentation alteration? That you’d like to gain awards, funding etc for black people overcoming barriers they’ve faced due to race. Or if you’re black, lots of horrible stereotypes about Asians too. Whichever suits.
Just as horrible, just as offensive, just as a valid argument.

You can be genuinely interested in her view and find out more about it. Does she also support trans age, trans race and trans ableism? Should somebody who identified as disabled receive disability benefits? Does she think anorexia should also be treated with affirmation?

I made a decision not to get wound up about my kid's views. My mother used to roll her eyes and shrug at some of the rubbish I used to spout. Not taking it seriously, if you can, might be the way to go.

We have to appreciate that it is so much harder for young people to be GC at University. No one wants to stand out at that age - it is much easier to accept the dogma and be part of the crowd. Disagreeing would be punished by ex communication by the people they want to be their friends. I've seen it with a relative who works in the arts. She is instinctively GC but has managed to square the circle so as to survive in her field. She can't afford to be shunned or tossed out.

When sector leaders of all kinds are reluctant to speak out we can't blame the children. The consequence for dissent is huge!

I'm inclined to support the suggestions about avoiding conflict and agreeing to differ. We all believed stuff when we were kids, that we grew out of. You could mention that lesbians need allies and are being targeted as bigoted because if not wanting to have sex with "male bodied trans lesbians" (can't get my head around all the ways that makes no sense) I think the TRA movement is being funded by big Pharma... Read Sheila Jeffries. But I believe it's been so successful at brainwashing young people in particular, partially because it's men wanting things that women have. Fought so many battles in the 70s and it seems we have to fight then again and again, with each generation... With a bit extra added.

Slippery - I reckon most mothers empathise with you. It's always hard when our children take paths that we don't agree with. But I'm a great believer in 'watchful waiting'. We all know that what we think / believe in our late teens and twenties changes - it's only in the trans world that children are fixed in one belief for ever. And she's more likely to let a current belief slip away when reality strikes if she's not got caught up in a family battle about it.
Keep talking on here as so many of us have been where you are.

Slippery, I can feel your desperation and my heart goes out to you -- it would be a nightmare for me too.
I was reading these stories similar to yours this morning and I don't think this link has been posted here yet. It's a US based site where parents of ROGD children, mostly girls, communicate and share their stories. Every one is heartbreaking but I think there is strength in numbers -- even if it is US based.
www.parentsofrogdkids.com/

Sounds like your daughter is a decent human being.

I cant ask her the question long story short she was molested wont even use tampons funds the thought of anything going "up there" hideous and needs therapy but will never get it on the NHS my biggest fear is she will get to involved and get herself into a situation she cant get out of I hate that she has chosen a far away uni but accepted it was her time to fly this is unfortunately my reality and my worst nightmare

This is very sad.

OP, it seems to me that you and your DD both have a lot going on - past trauma, potential counselling needs, flying the nest, and all sorts of other things. It's sometimes easier to displace these personal things by siting the conflict about something political. All I'd say is this: difficult as it is, don't lose sight of the personal in a battle over the political. PPs are saying ignore it and minimise the conflict but do take care about this: ignoring it may mean you miss signs of things that could need your intervention/help.

I wish you the absolute best with all of it.

I can only imagine how upsetting this is. I think it must be so hard for young women at college. They are surrounded by this stuff, she would probably be an outcast amongst her friends if she didn’t buy into it. Personally, I’d avoid discussion. Don’t try to change her mind. If you do, she will only become more entrenched. When she is older, when she has experienced the world and ceases to be in an echo chamber, good sense will hopefully prevail. I am already thinking of my approach when/if my DD becomes indoctrinated.

she claims hormones stop the function of a penis

She's wrong. Often they do, not always. And not all take them.

"femanists" are responsible for what the press print
wtf
Feminists.... Responsible..... Press...
With...
"Good dad murdered his wife"
"Rape victim was drunk so it wasn't rape"
"Woman not woman secretly filmed other women in toilets"
"Rapist committed 100 crimes against 60 women. Her victims included friends from church..."
"... her erect penis" (Karen White)
Etc etc etc

The press is male dominated, male centric, male apologist, written by men, for men.
Sorry. Your daughter has a lot of growing up to do. I'm sure she's lovely.

So she is a handmaiden rather than trans? I would hold out hope that once she finishes UNI she will find reality. What is she studying? Asking because I wonder if certain fields may be targeted more by the TRA?

How awful for you. Each generation finds a way to rebel against its parents but trans is on another level entirely.

Agree with everybody else who has said just stay off the subject, to avoid conflict or pushing her away. Keep lines of communication friendly and positive - trans shouldn't come between mothers and daughters.

Is your daughter not entitled to disagree with you? Does she have to be a mini me or beyond the pale?

If you condemn her for having a different view and are melodramatic about it (‘my worst nightmare’) she will separate herself from you (hence, probably, a uni far away).

She may change her views over time but it will not be due to her mother ramming her views down her throat. However, if you do not give her the freedom to have her own views, you will lose her.

That's a sensible approach OP. They still need us when they hit their late teens, early twenties, but it must be on their terms, not ours (so frustrating )
I tried to adopt a studied indifference - bloody difficult when I was desperate to know but so important in letting them spread their wings and be independent. They have to rebel and reject - that's how they turn into independent adults rather than clones of our brilliant selves!