Responsibility for contraception falling on the woman

I remember my ex whining to me that he couldn’t use a condom, because one time he was about to have sex with an ex so he went to get a condom, and when he returned from his coat or whatever, she’d changed her mind. Man who was traumatised by a woman saying no to him refuses to use contraception. Oh if I’d been older than a naive 18 year old I would have told him to do one then and there. God forbid anything should come between a man’s dick and the pleasure he’s entitled to.

And woe betide the little slag who goes and gets herself pregnant. No wonder she’s raising the child alone, she shouldn’t have picked such a waster to get herself pregnant by. Should have been more careful shouldn’t she.

It’s telling that the so-called sexual revolution came about with the advent of female contraception. In the last 55 years we’ve had the pill, the coil, the implant, the injection, and for the men, condoms, which have been around much longer, but which men don’t feel they should have to bother with. Sexual revolution indeed, the freedom for men to pressurise more women into more sex more often, consequence free, because now women can take responsibility for their spunk.

Yeah, I have noticed this with a few male friends. Whinging that women they slept with got pregnant, whilst also saying that they refuse to wear condoms as you 'can't feel anything'. Deciding the evil women purposely got pregnant, tricked them into it, purposely didn't take their pill solely to claw child support from these poor hapless men When, regardless of if a woman is on contraception, you could still wear a condom too to be doubly 'safe' (obv only abstinence is 100% though)

Also something that seems to be a MRA phenomenom. They are almost always pro-life it seems, evil women killing babies for the fun of it. However, they also think that they should be able to force women to have abortions as they don't want to pay for the kids they produce? So basically, all they care about, as usual, is controlling women. Second parts sort of irrelevant to the thread, but also tied in in a way.

It genuinely confuses me. Recently an acquaintance was moaning about being in pain after she was sterilised. I wondered why her partner wasn’t the one being sterilised. She has given birth to their 2 children. Surely it was his turn for pain and discomfort rather than hers?!

When I was in my twenties, working for nonprofit domestic violence advocacy groups, not making a ton of money, and birth control was a significant dent in my paycheck, I complained about this to my boyfriend. He thought that the pill was a 'luxury' and that I shouldn't complain about it, or just stop taking it. I decided he was a luxury I couldn't afford."

One of the comments on the article I posted.

And imagine your employer having a say on whether you can access contraception (via the occupational health insurance scheme). Catholic employers routinely veto contraceptive services being part of the scheme they offer.

Thing is though, that even though with perfect use condoms are 98% effective, typical use is about 85%. And they don’t protect against all STIs.

I agree though, managing fertility shouldn’t be left 100% to the female and I am horrified and angered by your ex OP.

I often wonder whether the idea of consequence free sex (wonderful though that utopia would be) is as misguided as the idea that you can be born in the wrong body.

Because the only way for a woman to be 100% assured of avoiding pregnancy in her fertile years is either not to have sex or be a lesbian.

Every single form of hormonal contraception or abortion has a physical effect on a woman’s body, as does pregnancy too of course.

If a man is absolutely determined he doesn’t want to procreate and yet still wants to have sex, then it’s beholden on him to take 100% responsibility.

Of course if the responsibility fell to men they'd take more care. But it doesn't. I would never trust a man, say if the male pill were a thing. I would even be wary of a man I didn't know well telling me he had had the snip.

This is an article from 2012 but for those of us lucky enough to take free contraception for granted courtesy of the NHS I think it is a quite shocking example of how men in the USA totally expect women to take responsibility and pay the $$$ for it. I find it extraordinary that women in the USA put up with this, enabling male entitlement. I feel quite sure if contraception had been so difficult and expensive to acquire I would have either been celibate most of my adult life or turned lesbian.

magazine.good.is/articles/birth-control-costs-more-than-you-think-even-for-the-lucky-ones

Men don’t need PIV sex, they just want it, without a condom if they can get away with it. I seem to remember it was pointed out recently on a blog, this means that they put their 3 seconds of pleasure ahead of everything their partner has to go through with contraception, or childbirth, or termination. Makes them a bit selfish, when you look at it like that.

I brought up my sons to use condoms if they wanted to prevent pregnancy. Seems a no brainer to me.

However I can't use condoms. Something in my vaginal secretions shreds them. Luckily I had no trouble using first the pill and later an IUD.

*jot not joy

Exactly Betty! Women are fertile for what 2 days of the month? So around 6.5% of the time. Men can potentially impregnate a woman any one time he has sex. So 100% of the time. Yet it's seen as a woman's task. They want their cake and to eat it - sex that feels better but without the responsibility of preventing pregnancy.

And YY to so much "she trapped me". I'm amazed all these men who don't trust women a joy to take the pill have so much unprotected sex

Men are fertile everyday of the month, so really they should take MORE responsibility than women, not less!