Actress feted for play celebrating her bravery in staying with her paedophile husband

Allthechickens - much research on the matter is now showing that those who claim to have been abused themselves are usually lying. They do it to gain sympathy or even in attempts to get lighter sentencing.

When therapists and psychiatrists deal with them once they are ordered to undergo treatment there's a lot of what they claim about the abuse they claim they also experienced which doesn't actually tie in with the experiences and reactions of those who have been abused.

And a significant number (usually when they're at a point where they know they'll never be released or are on death row) admit they lied about also being abuse victims.

Remember these are highly skilled manipulators you're talking about. They're often very charming, very believable people. That's how they get sympathy, it can also be how they get access to victims and how they silence victims.

It's not always done through fear but through emotional blackmail.

note the not-so-subtle signalling buried in the middle of the piece that it’s perhaps all because of something that may have happened to him as a child

A therapist once told me that the fact there are so many abusers who were also abused only proves how prevalent sexual abuse is rather than it turns you into an abuser.

It just adds another layer of upset and guilt on abused people who worry they will become like their abuser.

Is brave a synonym for 'fucking idiot' now?

A work colleague (other department, so I got everything from the newspaper, except his identity, which i got through the grape wine) was convicted of owning huge amounts of child porn (including the vilest stuff, with babies). Kept his public service job as conviction was a 1 year sentence (above that he could have been fired and the judge had mercy).

Long story short, the guy made a grand song and dance about how glad he was having been caught now gave him the opportunity to seek psychological help. Yeah right. As if he couldn’t have gotten that help before getting caught.

Always thought nothing can top that. Turns out a guy turning it into a movie just did.

That's the point though isn't it? Viewers of images are abusing children. Presenting it as the sanitary lesser crime is misleading and denial.

Creating a market by collecting recordings of predatory acts is child abuse and everyone complicit in not condemning and utterly stigmatising the abuse is by association also an abuser of children.

In a job l used to have then one of my delightful tasks was assessing sex offenders. Statistically they often try to kill themselves after being charged. I saw one guy who was absolutely broken and barely spoke to me. I didn’t really have much to say to him. I can see why his wife was divorcing him, the family home was being sold, his children wouldn’t speak to him and he wasn’t allowed to see his grandchildren

A colleague got into an argument with a sex offender who (amongst other things) had shared naked pictures of his granddaughter online. He said it was fine as her face was blurred out!!! My colleague didn’t see it that way

LocksMyth
True bravery there.

He used children’s bodies to orgasm. How she can share the same oxygen as him never mind a bed is beyond me.

Clearly her bank balance and social standing are far more important than the safety and well-being of children, including her own. She is complicit in the abuse of children but in the upside-down, I guess that counts as stunning and brave.

You are a brave woman Locks

Sorry locks 🌷
I don’t know what else to say 🌷

She's contemptible.

Sickening.

LocksMyth

Maddie's belief that this was a thing that happened to them, shows just how deep her denial goes. She has excused her husband, when his actions are unforgiveable.

The man I mentioned upthread didn't get a custodial sentence for the child abuse images either.

He very deliberately got a lawyer who was well-known for defending sex offenders. He also spent a sum of money on an IT 'expert' to try and cast doubt on whether he committed the offences. When he couldn't, he pled guilty, and gave some sob story in court which was probably very similar to Jace Alexander's - they all say the same stuff - they all say they would never hurt a child, despite being caught wanking off to a child being hurt. Raped. Abused.

He wasn't sorry. He was sorry he was caught.

He fucking did and he fucking enjoyed it.

Why she don’t see this.

He paid to watch it

“I wouldn’t wish what happened to me or my kids on anyone,” she said. “But the way that I feel, and honestly the way that my husband feels, is that when we keep things in the dark, that’s when shame and pain actually grows.”

“Our family,” she continued, “didn’t just stop being because something terrible happened.”

Your husband watched children being tortured sexually for his own gratification. He downloaded images of children being abused. And searched for more.

This is not a "thing that happened," like a blizzard or an earthquake.

This is a paedophile who searched for material containing explicit child sexual abuse and downloaded it onto his home computer. In the home where his own children presumably live, this man went onto the internet to seek out material of children being sexually victimised, in order to satisfy his own urges.

He got caught and convicted. He should be deeply ashamed of what he did. He should feel pain. The children he watched being raped certainly felt pain.

This is not an "accident," and there is nothing "brave" about staying with this man, or letting him have access to any children.

I discovered my (now) ex abused our kids.
I'll tell you what's brave - chucking every single thing associated with him out onto the street, changing the locks, facing the never-ending shit storm which follows head on and putting the broken pieces of my children's lives back together.

Sometimes I despair of the human race.

Where are social services? Shouldn’t their kids be removed?

I am so unbelievably disgusted

Yuk.

"Very few who view indecent images of children in UK get custodial sentences so it's not just NYC." I'm aware of that and am equally disgusted at the lac sentencing here too.

It's so shocking and disappointing seeing who is supporting these weirdos

Less accidentally brave, more fundamentally stupid.

The husband has been caught watching and sharing sexual child abuse. She’s walking about with a self help book for those married to a sex addict, and only realises how inappropriate it is when her daughter points it out. But, laughing and singing about it shows she doesn’t really realise how inappropriate it is. It shows a total failing of comprehension of the effect it’s having/had on her children.

I come from an ‘artsy’ family, saw some shocking things that were presented as ‘normal’ growing up. It just makes me wonder what else these parents have exposed their children to.

Im so disappointed in Teá I was a fan for years.
And Mariska Hargitay ffs.

I agree, Bluestitch - I’m a long time admirer of Mariska Hargitay and this is definitely a WTF are you doing moment.

www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/about-us/founders-corner/more-about-mariska

I realise it’s hard when someone you know is accused of such a crime, but when you have spent years being a voice for abused women and children, it’s really not appropriate to praise a paedophile’s apologist.

This thread is actually relevant:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3564777-Morgane-Oger-calls-out-JY

For a long time the nature of JY has been clear but it's only now, that JY and their behaviour is now posing a risk to a greater cause, that the known reality of JY is to be acknowledged.

What strikes me about the article is that it's all about how the 'thing' has affected them and how they've survived. Nothing about the poor child victims. It's very worrying.

Still can't get over Mariska. Gushing about this amongst tweets about her activism and campaigns for justice for rape victims. Beyond tone deaf.