Explaining differences between boys and girls to kids?

I pointed out to my 11 year old son the other day that his willy wouldn't get in the way while he was unpacking the shopping (he'd suggested his sister do it). To be fair he was probably just being lazy not sexist, but it embarrassed him into getting on and doing as he'd been asked

I've had more problems with my 7 year old DS who was properly upset and "confessed" to liking "girls things" (which turned out to be TV programmes the girls discuss and the boys pretend not to). It's a load of balls ( sorry) anyway because most of the boys who discuss and "play" StarWars endlessly have never actually sat through the films, and they all bluster about pretending to play fortnite when only one or two have parents careless enough to actually allow 7 year olds to do so... I've also said there isn't really girls stuff or boys stuff unless you need a girl/ woman body or a boy/ man body to do that thing.

We've also talked about how before puberty girls and boys are almost exactly the same except for genitalia but during and after puberty there are a lot more differences, but that's in relation to specific questions and having older siblings, who have friends round and play team sports etc.

Genderbollocks is no different from racism. Its silly, it makes the people who push the agenda look ridiculous, and its unfair.

As other pp have already pointed out, most kids have an innate sense of fairness. So they can understand that while our bodies are different, no one can help the way they are born, and the way we are born doesn't mean we should be treated unfairly.

I think this kind of thing works best if you focus on the child development angle.
Three year olds are very concrete thinkers. They will generally accept what you tell them at face value. They are looking around them, also, to see what actually seems to be the case. They often make errors by overgeneralising with what they observe, or what you tell them, these tend to be corrected naturally as they gain experience

I would stick to the biological - men and women are different because of reproductive role. You could present that as boys can become fathers, or have penises, while women have a vulva/uterus, or may become mothers - whatever will work for the child. I would also say that men and women like many of the same things, and there are very few places that are only for one or the other, plane musems are enjoyed both by men and women.

I think getting into questions of socialisation vs sexed behaviour is beside the point, really. It may be that more men like airplanes for some sort of reason related to sexual biology, really we don't know, but the fact is that lots of women like them too, and you aren't having a conversation about why women aren't represented in equal numbers as airplane mechanics. All of that is outside what a three year old can take in or cares about.

^ seen PGCE students/NQTs challenge others - not specifically relating to gender but stuff that was bollocks like teaching children that whales are fish.

Do you think a NQT would challenge an instructor teaching utter genderbollocks?

a. I've seen it happen
b. They don't teach genderbollocks on the PGCE

I've had similar discussions over the years with my kids and I would say to a three year old "there's no such thing as girl things and boy things, anyone can like or do anything they like". If the same three year old (boy for this example) asked in the same or a different conversation if he could have a baby (also a discussion I've had many times) I would explain that only women can grow babies in their tummies, and I would also give a short age appropriate explanation of male and female reproduction.

My four year old DS is absolutely clear that he will one day make sperm and that a woman makes an egg and they join and make a baby. He knows this stuff because we are very open about it in a clear and factual way.

I did have to put him right in Tesco's today when he saw makeup and said "that's for ladies", and I said "anyone can wear make up of they want to, whether they are a man or a woman". Then he moved onto why couldn't he have an ice-cream.

So people that don't agree with your personal philosophy are silly?

That's right.

People who think having a female body means you are supposed to like different things and behave a different way are silly.
People who make up mean rules for girls to obey are silly.

Yep.
Happy to stand by that.

I can think of stronger, more apt words than silly to describe people who endorse sexist views about how girls should think and behave and obey differently than boys, but the OP's child is only 3, so this is the PG version.

Why? Because I don't agree that NQTs are likely to just accept that they need to teach nonsense about trans people?

Do you think a NQT would challenge an instructor teaching utter genderbollocks?

Because of every post you've made on the thread so far. You do seem quite combative today, on this subject.

Are you just here to nitpick and goad @brizzlemint ?

Why? Because I don't agree that NQTs are likely to just accept that they need to teach nonsense about trans people?

Are you just here to nitpick and goad @brizzlemint ?

@brizzlemint It doesn't have to be on the PGCE syllabus. We know where it comes from. It's reasonable to assume (observe) that NQTs are generally more susceptible.

How would you explain THIS to kids???
twitter.com/AliceHaas8/status/1118882920234668032

As the product of the very vivid imagination of a sculptor ...

You aren’t going to he there when a teacher, fresh from training, tells your child that people can be born in the wrong body.

I doubt that is something they are taught on the PGCE but I'd like to see the evidence that they are.

How would you explain THIS to kids???
twitter.com/AliceHaas8/status/1118882920234668032

I think it’s important to teach three year olds to tell people that they are silly when they are being silly.

You aren’t going to he there when a teacher, fresh from training, tells your child that people can be born in the wrong body.

Twenty or thirty kids shaking their heads and saying ‘No, silly!’ to some earnest blue haired idiot will be quite effective.

Boys and girls can both go to the museum.

Sex only comes into it if they want to use the toilet when they get there.

I think if you teach your kids that planes are only for boys they are going to be baffled at the Amelia Earhart exhibit.

I agree with that but a three year isn't going to be able to work that out are they? To a three year old they are just going to pick up that mummy and daddy think it's ok to call people silly if they don't agree with them.

No. You're teaching your child your values and that somethings are right and some things are wrong.

Same as if you said "It's a bit silly to hit when we can ask nicely for a toy"

It's just parenting.

I agree with that but a three year isn't going to be able to work that out are they? To a three year old they are just going to pick up that mummy and daddy think it's ok to call people silly if they don't agree with them.

People that think interests and activities are dependent on what's in your chromosomes are, indeed, silly.

People that are sexist are ignorant assholes brizzle but it's a bit harsh to say that to a three year old.

Silly people think

So people that don't agree with your personal philosophy are silly?

I had this conversation yesterday with my almost 3 year old, as he was asking if he could have a baby in his tummy when he was older (I'm 15wks pregnant and he's very interested).
I explained that there is no difference at all between boys and girls, except boys have a willy and girls don't, but that girls and boys are equally clever and strong and can do and like all the same things.
Then I explained that when we grow up to be adult men and women there are some differences like men sometimes being a bit bigger and faster, and women being able to grow babies in their tummies, but that we can still all do the same jobs and hobbies.
I'm sure other people can come up with better explanations but he seemed happy with that for now.

^
That's not really true. Countless studies have shown differences in the male and female brain. Different behaviour in male and females is also displayed throughout the animal kingdom.^

Countless studies have proven brain plasticity and that humans have huge capacity to learn and that these changes occur as we age and as we gender certain activities for children. Countless studies have not proved natural man brain/ woman brain though. And they certainly could never prove that we are naturally predisposed to most human activity as most isn't natural but is cultural.