Dads to be are 2nd class citizens on the labour ward because they don't get offered a cup of tea...

@SarahTancredi people need to bring their own food. That’s what a lot of NHS staff do!

Canteen food too expensive

This isn't the point of the thread but yes, canteen food is expensive if you have to buy 2 or 3 meals a day there for a few days or longer. Buying every drink and every meal there you would easily spend £10 a day at least. Plenty of people in this country and living in poverty or very close and just don't have that money spare. Many parents rely on food banks. Should they not be able to stay in hospital with their child then, because they don't have money to spend on food?

So yes, I do think that parents staying on paeds wards should be fed while they are there.

Ugh. There was a guy like this when I was in having DD. Kicking off and very loudly complaining that 'surely theres someone who has time to make me a coffe rather than expecting me to sit with nothing'

Another moaned as he was asked to go home come the night time and there were spare beds on the ward we were on so he 'might aswell get to stay, it afects noone'.

I shit you not, when I went in with DS, there was a guy in the waiting room bit co mplaining about the noise, while some poor woman seemed to go into transition while still waiting on a room! She was exagerrating apparently. I could really have killed them but luckily, enough complained that staff chucked them out for a bit (not for the comment as such, but they were getting more and more worked up and aggresive with each passing moment) at which stage theey started moaning about sexism and said no way would staff throw out a woman regardless of behaviour..

It realy was bizarre, some of the entitlement I saw. You expect it really, but not to the extent it goes sometimes.

So vending machine and trolley food not good enough

Canteen food too expensive

People shouldn't have to leave to get food

Yet you claim you arent expecting them to be waited on?
Is the food gonna be beamed down by aliens or something?

They don't have to. They can go to the hospital shop or canteen or vending machines, or bring their own supplies. A very minor thing to sort out. No big deal.

As for food - again, I don't think it's ok for long stay relatives to be expected to exist on crisps and chocolate bars - and I'm not saying on labour wards necessarily, but across the hospital

But most hospitals have canteens. There are usually shops near by.

If they wont leave to get it then that's their problem. Not the hospitals to fix.

MenuPlant
I am not complaining, and nor was my husband, about the "unhealthy" food. We just got on with it. Is it great? No.

My entire point is that I don't think it is reasonable for birth partners (or parents staying in the hospital or relatives staying for days in ICU) to not have a way of being able to get even a drink. Are there vending machines on labour wards now? I don't know.

As for food - again, I don't think it's ok for long stay relatives to be expected to exist on crisps and chocolate bars - and I'm not saying on labour wards necessarily, but across the hospital.

There was a trolley. There was water. There was food less than a mile away (amazed if there wasn't).

Now the complaint is the quality of food. Its not healthy to live on Crisps and soft drinks for 5 days. But you said all you wanted was a vending machine. That will contain what... Crisps and soft drinks.

Make your mind up.

You're derailing.

That's really what it's about isnt it

He will be "babysitting" next

Honestly I dont think.id let these men take the baby out . If they cant think to pack.food or have a contingency for if things take longer than expected then they sure as hell wont remember to change a nappy or make a bottle.

Although given they can get through a shift at work just fine and arrange to go out with their friends and remember their phone charger , one.might well assume the whole point of this supposed incompetence was on purpose to avoid being left alone with the baby.

Maybe like when a man cleans the bathroom and wants some kind of certificate or medal?

That's really what it's about isnt it.

There is a sense of entitlement about getting tea. Some relatives rock up on wards and before they have taken their coat off, are asking where their cup of tea is 🙄. Maybe the guy on dadsnet didn’t think he was being acknowledged enough? Maybe like when a man cleans the bathroom and wants some kind of certificate or medal?

Sounds like your DH has moaned to you at length about how awful those 5 days without adequate sustenance were for him. Otherwise how would you know? I

He has never mentioned it - I have eyes in my head and saw what he had.

And If you want me to stop posting then stop tagging me in posts and misrepresenting what I have said.

I do not expect any member of staff to make drinks or provide food. I do think that the NHS should consider relatives/visitors that are in the hospital for extended periods of time for whatever the reason.

And time and again I have said that this hospital is long demolished. What exactly would you like my husband to campaign for? Neither of us have any idea what provision there is in the new hospital - never been there and never will go there.

Both of us do actively campaign for research and better treatment for mothers affected by pre eclampsia so I think we are doing our bit to change the experience for other women.

don’t have clue what my DH did about food & drink when I was in labour. He has certainly never mentioned it to me - I produced a baby, I don’t need another one tellling me how hungry he was while I did it.

Come to think of it I have no idea either! I had packed food for myself which I forgot about and luckily remembered after everyone had gone to bed not that I would have shared anway

Honestly, why do some women on here think that it is ok to belittle, ridicule and put down other women and their experiences?

No where on this thread has this happened. You have however, for reasons known only to yourself decided to completely derail this thread. Ive bitten unfortunately and given you the attention you require but im going to stop now. Feel free to chat to yourself.

Ofgs mouse. Don’t try the emosh on me.

I was laughing at your husband not being able to get himself some food and drink.

Simple. And you know it

Sounds like your DH has moaned to you at length about how awful those 5 days without adequate sustenance were for him. Otherwise how would you know? I don’t have clue what my DH did about food & drink when I was in labour. He has certainly never mentioned it to me - I produced a baby, I don’t need another one tellling me how hungry he was while I did it.

Christmasmouse - put this squarely back on your DH - if he felt hard done to, he can campaign for a vending machine in the labour ward, don’t let him make it your or any other woman’s problem- including the healthcare staff.

@LittleChristmasMouse stop derailing. It isn't about your husband's experience, which was nothing like the man in the article.

I don't think that NHS staff should be ensuring that birth partners get cups of tea, or that they are fed like patients, as a general rule. In exceptional circumstances then it would up to each individual midwife to decide to do something different to the norm.

More importantly, birth is not an "experience" for the birth partner. The principle should be that they are there in a supportive role to the woman actually in labour/giving birth.

Im sure if we all played Pregnancy top trumps

I've got no interest in playing pregnancy top trumps Guyliner

Equally I've got no interest in laughing at other women's experiences either or trying to belittle what they went through.

Honestly, why do some women on here think that it is ok to belittle, ridicule and put down other women and their experiences?

I believe another poster made the point that hospitals in America do provide all these things and in a hotel like atmosphere.

The cost is more than a private room in the Lindo wing. Dh can make his own fucking tea.

Although that would have meant your DH living on coke and Kit Kats for five days.
That is what he did anyway, other than when some of my colleagues brought a sandwich in for him. The trolley was only one of those newsagent trolley shops that goes round selling papers and sweets and crisps.

And it was me who didn't want him to leave. Yes, I know women give birth alone, but I didn't want to and I wanted him there.

Mouse you are being ridiculous. I am very sorry you had a hard time. We are very lucky that we live in times where maternal and infant mortality rate is very high. Child birth is dangerous. If you know anything about history many women and children didnt make it out of childbirth. The result is now that many of us have actually had terrible births but lived to tell the tale. I am sure that at least one of my children wouldn't have made it in another time, it was pretty terrible and I had to do it all over again a year later due to a surprise pregnancy. Im sure if we all played Pregnancy top trumps we'd have some terrible stories to tell. None of that changes the fact that women are the patient and men don't get to complain about missing the "experience". In fact, it is precisely because it is so fucking risky that we are all discussing how ridiculous it is that men have these complaints.

Another thread about general provision for all visitors in hospitals would probably be very useful. Why don't you start one?

@BettyDuMonde for you and your daughter.

The NHS was established is and funded to investigate and treat patients. And only patients.

Most HCP will try to offer tea to relatives of patients at the end of life and other very sick people, when they can. But please remember it isn't funded, and it isn't their job.

And if you see relatives being given tea, perhaps think why that might be?

So you think it's better for the birthing partner to leave the woman in labour alone to go and get something to eat? Good for you when it's your delivery.

Why not? Unless your husband is also the obstetrician his presence is nice to have but not necessary.

And FWIW, I gave birth to one of my babies without my DH present because he was in the armed forces and couldn't get home in time. Lots of women manage do the same.

However, I agree, a vending machine would be a good idea. Although that would have meant your DH living on coke and Kit Kats for five days.

Hahaha. The starving mouse husband. Lost for 5 days and nights like a wee blind mole in a field

I'm glad that my experience is so funny for you @littlbrowndog.

I'm glad that me having a life threatening condition and nearly losing 2 babies has provided you with so much entertainment and that something which still affects me more than 20 years later is something that you feel gives you the right to poke fun at me about.