Dads to be are 2nd class citizens on the labour ward because they don't get offered a cup of tea...

When I had my dc the nurses said that they used to have a small kitchen with basics in it (bread, milk, cereal, butter, jam, tea) so that they could give newly delivered mothers something if they arrived on the ward outside of mealtimes as is often the way. They had to stop providing it as so many dads and visitors saw it as a free buffet for everyone.

Another man on the thread that doesn't know water comes out of taps.

How do these people function.

Well, this isn't the first time a man has queried why he wasn't more acknowledged in a healthcare setting that is focused on the women who are the patients. There was that prat who felt excluded from his friend's mammogram.

It's reasonable to discuss the role of men in this circumstance, especially as expectations have changed so much in recent decades. Even the Christmas Mouse had a reasonable suggestion of accessible vending machines before turning the thread into a 'My NHS hell' confessional.

The derailing on this thread!

Now, back to the OP! I showed my 17 year old daughter who said: ‘ does everything have to be about men!!’ That she feels this way at 17 is depressing. I’m glad she has a great Dad who did not think like this during my labour, I have no clue what he ate! Or drank?? But what we both did, as adults, was create a large snack box a month before due date, with cash inside for drinks. So, not that I would of thought about his meals, but we were prepared for a long birth and it never crossed our minds to expect food and drink at the hospital. Pack your food and water people! We had enough for 2 frickin days!

Another thing I have to say, with all this expectation of the NHS, which I have my issues with in terms of women’s healthcare, comes from a place of enormous privilege. You have no idea how lucky we are in the UK to get healthcare. It really bothers me my 71 year old Mum has to pay $80 or thereabouts for a short doctors appointment, I think it’s 10 minutes- that’s what it was when I was last living back home in NZ. It would never enter my brain, as a parent of a child or a partner of a woman in labour that the hospital would in any way provide food or drinks for me. They actually gave my husband toast and a milo, along with me, about an hour after birth. I couldn’t believe we got that and although I was soooo grateful, I wouldn’t expect or be annoyed if I didn’t get that. There was a place close enough to buy things if we ran out. All countries have high demands placed on them in terms of providing for the entire population and it’s needs. Your healthcare system is envied around the world. To complain about not being provided food as a non-patient, a visitor or support person, seems extremely spoilt to this particular foreigner. There are definitely areas that need addressing in the system, particularly the poor services for mental healthcare, providing food for anyone but actual patients should not even be a conversation IMO.

I think it's pretty obvious what I'm referring to. A group of women discussing some men being arse holes doesn't have to be that deep. It's interesting and predictable that someone has come in with the NoT ALL mEn rhetoric thought.

And I don't have any issue, what I have an issue with is someone trying to divert the whole topics attention to themselves (again and again) using highly specific personal emotive situations and I've made that pretty obvious, I'm not arsed about anything else otherwise I would make it clear.

I don't know what you are referring to Prequelle but do you have a problem with "debate" or "discussion" which doesn't involve just repeating the majority view?

AssassinatedBeauty Of course people love to chat- double pages of it here all basically agreeing one idiot man was an idiot. I'm still curious as to why the one idiot man multiplied in to plural "dads"

.

People just like to chat about stuff...

lassI should have said 'discuss' not debate. I didn't think someone would pick apart my words but hey ho

Oh dear and how often have I read on hear in relation to anything trans related the mantra that "words are important"

Call it what you like. I still don't know what the point of this thread was.

One idiot man got this arse handed to him on a plate by other men. Contrary to the oft repeated mantra about "class analysis " being so much more important than individual experience that one idiot man becomes "dads" in the plural in the OP's thread title generating pages of "discussion" and "debate".

'One time, at band camp . . . '

lass I should have said 'discuss' not debate. I didn't think someone would pick apart my words but hey ho.

littlechristmas no, you've attempted to derail this thread multiple times now with your stories. First your labour and now your dad you then passive aggressively go all 'woe is me it must be all our fault then'. You had a terrible experience, unfortunately lots of women do.

The guy who said two things tool belt made me cry, he just got it! As someone who's ex turned up demanding to see the birth after being on my own for 8 months of the pregnancy. He turned it into his thing and got annoyed that it was taking so long. Needless to say he didn't stay for the birth or the upbringing!

Actually I said I know where you’re coming from. I have three dc and pre eclampsia twice. I’m not even going to bother typing about any other experiences I had because it’s a waste of my time and the time of the other people on this thread who seemed to be quite happily discussing something else entirely before you rocked up with your selfish bleating.

It was all going so well, even manchild who whinged because they didn't roll out the welcome mat for him and he doesn't know how to use a tap, then LCM returned to regale us with yet more personal anecdotes and 'I nearly died!' (why not get that printed on a tshirt and wear it around, paint it on a placard and walk round Trafalgar Square for the day with it) to me-rail and bore everyone to tears.

HalfBloodPrincess

If you think I am a troll then report me.

@HalfBloodPrincess I’m a vague lurker on this board and hardly ever post on MN at all but I truly can’t see what on earth the point of doing this is? Are people really this self obsessed?

FromthePinkGlitterySide

You understand what I went through? Err, no you don't. You understand what you went through.

And my posts have been about my 2nd pregnancy, and the way that my 1st affected me so badly that I needed a lot more support during my 2nd labour. The fear of the 1st situation happening again was too much for me. But, thanks for the understanding.

I’ve just read this whole thread with disbelief. For what it’s worth littlemouse I had pre eclampsia too, emergency section and spent the first night of my sons life in intensive care and a week in hospital after. So I know where you’re coming from. I haven’t got a fucking clue what ExDH ate. He was looking after me and our son.

His job was to take care of what I needed, not me worrying if he’d only had a kitkat for days. The nurses were there to take care of me and my baby. Not him. This entitled man child tried to make it about him and women like you enable this behaviour. Shame on you.

Us: want to debate about idiot partners and the NHS

You (general you) aren't "debating" anything.

The OP selected a story about one idiot partner who had already been firmly put in his place by male posters on another thread. OP posted a thread title referring to "dads" plural. I think one male poster has said on here he was badly treated and got the same response the original idiot got.

It's hardly a debate is it? I'm not really sure what point the OP thought the thread serves - beyond let's all have a laugh at the idiot partner (which he deserved)

You (general you) bang on about class analysis yet the OP has done exactly the reverse- taking one idiot man and turned him into the class of male parents.

Certainly didn't happen in the 3 weeks we were in NICU. Not one meal or drink was provided for any of us

Guidelines have probably changed in the 30 years or so since you gave birth.

Research has shown that the increase in difficulty to feed/low milk supply is partly due to breastfeeding mothers not eating and drinking enough/dieting in the immediate weeks/months after giving birth (another feminist issue due to the pressures society puts on women who have given birth surrounding how quickly you should be ‘getting back into your jeans’)
Making sure a breastfeeding mother has adequate food and drink to be able to breastfeed the patient effectively is extremely important which is why they’re fed and formula feeding mothers aren’t.

Is this a thing now? Disregarding the thread topic and filling it up with random complaints about bad experiences of the NHS? I'll have a go... I once had a midwife tell me to stop crying during a miscarriage because it wasn't the end of the world. I mean, at least that's tangentially related to the OP...

Well then they wouldnt be eating anyway would they

Their situation isnt technically any worse and their kid is getting fed at least.

Look I'm not unsympathetic to the situations people are in. I know full well now hard it can be when your kid is in hospital. Mine have had a few admissions themselves.

But the hospitals are not there to solve everyone's problems. There are other agencies who are there to assist.

In other countries those people wouldn't have insurance so would possibly not even be in the hospital at all. So in those cases these people are able to access treatment.

But anything else well that's their problem.to solve. They are nurses and drs but they arent there to do your thinking for you