Dads to be are 2nd class citizens on the labour ward because they don't get offered a cup of tea...

BettyDuMonde

Yes, he could have walked to the canteen. But I did not want him to leave because of what was happening to me and because of what had happened to me during my previous delivery.

And I don't think it is right that parents staying with their children aren't fed either. Having a child in hospital can be so very expensive and many parents can't afford to buy hospital food for days on end.

I do not believe you mouse that the canteen was a mile away.

Sorry, where did I say the canteen was a mile away?

It was a very old (since demolished) cottage hospital. The maternity unit was built in the 60s but the rest of the hospital was made up of lots of separate buildings, spread out across the grounds. The canteen was in one of these buildings, which was quite a walk from the labour ward. So, by the time you had walked out of labour ward, got lift down to ground floor, walked out of the building and over to canteen, that would easily take 15 mins and then do the return journey.

I also never said he didn't have a speck of food. Why do you post outright lies about what I said and then accuse me of derailing by making it about me? Why should I not reply when you accuse me of lying and then misrepresent what I said Guyliner?

That's my experience too Betty. Hospitals provide food for patients, not their family.

So yes, Mouse your husband can walk to a cafe in another building when you are being induced! Crikey!

My mum recently spent a lot of time by my dad's bedside in hospital, and the cafe and close at 5 and there are no other buildings nearby.
This meant she really struggled to get any food at all out of hours, except crisps and chocolate bars from a vending machine.

Guyliner has said pretty much everything I want to say already.

I am amazed that Dad’s are served breakfast on the postnatal ward though - as many of you know I have a seriously ill DD (7) and pretty much live in the children’s hospital, sleeping on a pull down bed beside her, or in Ronald McDonald House or the parents emergency room (which has no windows!) when she has been in PICU or HDU.

I occasionally get offered a coffee and a biscuit. Otherwise I, and all the other parents, fend for ourselves. I often eat my daughter’s left overs though, because she hates me to leave her bedside even for a wee or a shower, let alone a meal. Sometimes I have a jacket potato in the staff canteen at midnight, because it’s the only time she doesn’t need me.

So yes, Mouse your husband can walk to a cafe in another building when you are being induced! Crikey!

He's an entitled manbaby but thankfully, judging by the responses, appears to be in a minority.

Apparently women labour faster without men

Hmm, wonder if this was why the midwife sent my OH away for a few hours in the middle of the day at my last birth, she told him to go off and 'take a break' because it was a long labour.

Isn't the thread aboutoneman who asked for a cup of tea and instead got his arse handed to him on a plate- by other men?

Well yes this one man but also certain male posters on the thread who think they should be looked after as well. Have you ever watched one Born Every Minute Lass? There's always one man who manages to make it all about him. You also get get regular threads from women saying their hudband wants his family at the birth for "support".

o wonder if there's not something to be said for keeping fathers out. I didn't want my husband to be present. I didn't want anyone to be present except medical staff but it's assumed you will want partners there. As it turned out a planned elective caesarean was ideal for me- he was there but kept well away from the business end of the even

Apparently women labour faster without men. I think there is definitely something to be said that the assumption should not be that men will be there (unless they are actively wanted by their partner.)

ALittleBitOfVitriol It's always about the men isn't it.

After all, she's having his baby It's his miracle too. Never mind that she's just grown the baby in her own body for nine months, and is now giving birth - it's his experience too. Midwives must just dote on him, simply for being there

Meh - I'm wondering if we should banish the lot of them tbh. (Not entirely serious - my DH was fine, if a bit "rabbit caught in the headlights") Just my detached, woman-centric analysis.

Zebras and Errol

It's the utter impertinence of assuming that a woman giving birth & her medical team should make room for him to share the experience. He couldn't be more self absorbed.

Reminds me of this:

God I'm lucky I have my DH. He STFU through all my births, did as he was told, held my hand and never expected anything more than staff other than be allowed to cut the cord.

My goodness there are some fragile males on the Internet tonight. Is the nasty midwife not looking at you enough? Diddums. Here's a wild thought - it's not about you. For once, just once, it's about your female partner. You know, the one who's actually a patient? The one in excruciating pain going through an extremely distressing and risky procedure. And you moan about a cup of tea or not being made to feel "visible"? Grow up!

You wanna feel fully involved at your child's birth? Then involve yourself. Get stuck in, put your phone down, help your wife, plump pillows, go get her chocolate - and if she doesn't want you to leave the room, stay and live without the tea. Don't expect the busy midwives to placate your need to for attention when you're not even the patient!

I’m actually surprised he was t offered a drink or told where to get one, at our hospital there’s tea and coffee available 24/7 for patients and their partners to help themselves to and we were both bought drinks over a couple of times.

It's funny to see what a man thinks "equality" for him looks like. So oppressed.

It was so inconsiderate of his poor DW not to have packed him some mini cheddars and a bottle of pop the poor lamb.

I wonder how much of the experience he’ll want to share when the baby is balling its lungs out at two hour intervals through the night, or sprinkling piss in the air each time its nappy is removed and projectile shitting three feet across the room, or chundering milk all down his back five minutes before he has to leave for work?

Oh the joys of new parenthood.

Not sure of the sex of the baby so don’t know which pronoun, and I wouldn’t like to misgender the poor might. Sorry, calling a baby it sounds awful.

Well I didn't get offered tea,or coffee or water.
And I was either drugged out of my mind,too tired or maybe I simply don't remember but things happened that I wasn't told about or asked permission for.

Somehow I managed to get over it and not fucking whinge.

A cup of tea! Pfft!

I do wonder if there's not something to be said for keeping fathers out. I didn't want my husband to be present

The preceding anecdote apart, my DH was genuinely supportive and I'm glad he was there, but it absolutely should be the mother's choice who she has with her.

And I just can't even with the dude who wanted to be equal in the experience wow.

Wouldn't you just like that to come true for him...

The only form of pain relief I had in labour was a TENS machine hired from Boots. I wasn't convinced it was doing much so DH, wanting to help in any way he could, kept helpfully twiddling the dial up.

Later, before returning it, for some reason he wanted to try it (still on the setting I'd last had it on) .. and yelped at the pain it inflicted. I think he was a bit in awe of me after that...

We talking about men asking for cups of tea and feeling left out

Isn't the thread about one man who asked for a cup of tea and instead got his arse handed to him on a plate- by other men?

I do wonder if there's not something to be said for keeping fathers out. I didn't want my husband to be present. I didn't want anyone to be present except medical staff but it's assumed you will want partners there. As it turned out a planned elective caesarean was ideal for me- he was there but kept well away from the business end of the event.

And I just can't even with the dude who wanted to be equal in the experience wow.

Oh I'm sure we can arrange for them to experience

RomanyQueen1

What stops the bloke taking a flask. I can understand he may not want to leave his partner to get one.
It's not a hotel

Yes. Are these people for real? It's pretty standard on every hospital bag packing list I've seen (and not just for the labour ward) to include snacks and drinks for support people.
These man-babies must be perpetually bewildered if feeding and watering themselves is too difficult...

And I just can't even with the dude who wanted to be equal in the experience wow.

I remember at prenatal classes the midwife saying (when asked) that if the dad fainted in the delivery ward they’d just step over him and kick him to the side.

I don't think it's too much to ask for birthing partners to sort themselves out. It's not like they don't have nine months to plan what they might need in the event of a long birth

Well precisely. They remember their phones and cigarettes dont they?

If a grown adult hasnt figured out to pack a bag of crisps or two then I dont know how they managed to make the baby in the first place tbh.

Hahaha. The starving mouse husband. Lost for 5 days and nights like a wee blind mole in a field

😎😎

Should male health professionals stop performing essential patient care to make tea for non-patients I wonder, or just the female ones

Don't be ridiculous they're proper medical people. Midwives are just glorified tea ladies.