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Original poster

What the actually fucking fuck?

65 replies

ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASaving · 15/04/2019 20:05

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-47934685

"I only wanted to pretend to shoot her and her new partner - it was an accident."

What the actual fuck is wrong with men? Why? Every day it's another horrific story like this.

OP posts:
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JurgenKloppsCat · 17/04/2019 18:30

Going backwards from where? The 1980s, 1970s, 1950s, 17th century? When was peak time for women in western society?

BertrandRussell · 17/04/2019 18:18

“we are going backwards” yep.

Annasgirl · 17/04/2019 17:20

I was talking about this in a university lecture last week and a female friend of mine said “but what about female violence against men”? And then, having seen an opening, a male student said, “yes and what about false rape statistics”. Jesus, I lost the plot with them all! As noted on the Andrea Dworkin thread, we are going backwards

OhHolyJesus · 17/04/2019 16:59

*For UK I meant to add

OhHolyJesus · 17/04/2019 16:59

This focuses on trans prisoners and has been posted in FWR before but it provides some male/female figures

medium.com/@evastanford/transwomen-sexual-offenders-a-closer-look-6c507d9e2414

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 17/04/2019 16:46

Next time you see BIL, OP, maybe tell him men commit 96% of homicides worldwide and ask him to explain that away. The statistics really are that damning. Men are responsible for nearly all violent and sex crime.

There are 5,000 women in prison in total. There are 14,000 men in prison just for sex offences.

This, of course, is why demands that men be allowed into woman only spaces pose such a threat to women and why we resist these AWAs (anti-woman activists) with such vigour.

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole · 17/04/2019 12:06

he average prison sentence for men who kill their female partners is two to six years. By contrast, women who kill their partners are sentenced on average to 15 years.

Sounds about right Hmm Too many men get off completely by saying the women consent to being killed too..

deydododatdodontdeydo · 17/04/2019 10:18

“ "The average prison sentence for men who kill their female partners is two to six years. By contrast, women who kill their partners are sentenced on average to 15 years."

Any figures for the UK?

BertrandRussell · 17/04/2019 09:39

“ "The average prison sentence for men who kill their female partners is two to six years. By contrast, women who kill their partners are sentenced on average to 15 years."

heresyisthenewblack · 16/04/2019 22:53

The fact that people keep NAMALTing suggests to me that everyone knows that far too many MALT, but the cognitive dissonance crowd has to have some kind of mantra.

Original poster
ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASaving · 16/04/2019 20:09

If a woman kills her husband though, bloody hell does she get the book thrown at her. Even if (as is usually the case) she did it after enduring decades of abuse. No consideration for that in the sentencing whatsoever, and she's held up forever more as an example of how "women are just as bad".

OP posts:
Original poster
ByGrabtharsHammarWhatASaving · 16/04/2019 20:07

How do they react when you pose them these difficult questions?

I had just this argument with my BIL the other day and my SIL who used to have a brain before she became a handmaiden Every single point I made it was NAMALT, "women do that too", "what about the injustices men face?" He said he was very engaged on the subject of sexual violence as his friend had just been accused of rape. Great, I said, in what way are you engaged? "By campaigning for something like this" he said, "to stop all those women who falsely accuse men of rape." I then had to endure a lecture from SIL about how feminists need to help men with stuff like this if we want them to help us back, and just focusing on women is divisive and sexist. I said "why don't we worry less about the few hundred false accusations a year and worry more about the tens of thousands of women who are getting raped and never seeing justice?" She said "we should be doing both" "OK" I said, "what are you also doing about that then?" Crickets. "So basically we need to help both women and men and we're supposed to achieve this by only helping men and anyone who just tries to focus on women are big man hating meanies?" Spluttering and hand wringing. When I suggested that maybe, just maybe, we should try and close the fucking enormous chasm of power imbalances between men and women before worrying about giving men yet more power and rights, I was labelled "aggressive" and "confrontational". And this guy truly thinks of himself as a good guy. So does my partners whole family. My partner, when I ask him about this stuff, gives his favourite answer to any difficult question - "I don't know". Often followed up by suddenly needing an early night.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 16/04/2019 13:23

“I don't see what good ignoring or rejecting those few who do speak up and speak out does.”

I don’t. That’s why I was asking for details.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 16/04/2019 13:01

Is it?

Of course.
Men aren't doing enough, or saying enough, that's clear.
I don't see what good ignoring or rejecting those few who do speak up and speak out does.

Fallingirl · 16/04/2019 12:54

That last sentence “...he said he felt "really, really distressed at the thought that she got hurt because of me".”

No mate. Stop minimising via indirect language. She did not “get hurt”. You hurt her.

Also, “hurt” is one hell of a euphemism for “killed”.

That sentence should be “he said he felt really, really distressed that he had killed her”.

If the thought of killing women distresses you, there is a really, really simple way to avoid that distress. Can anyone guess what it is?

LangCleg · 16/04/2019 12:09

Michael Conroy.

twitter.com/MichaelConroy68

BertrandRussell · 16/04/2019 10:45

And you know what? If I was part of a class that committed over 95% of violent crime, i’d Certainly be looking to see how I was colluding the culture that was making it happen. And thinking, privately and publicly about what I could do to change things for the next generation.

HorsewithnoFrills · 16/04/2019 10:42

Of course some men are violent, but not the entire male race.

How insightful of you.

You know, that had simply never occurred to me.

Do you have a foolproof way of telling the good ones from the bad?

Do share.

BertrandRussell · 16/04/2019 10:37

“But that's a far cry from "men say nothing".”

Is it?

deydododatdodontdeydo · 16/04/2019 10:27

Do they? Absolutely fantastic. Anyone I might know?

Why would you need to know them?
They are ordinary men speaking up about these things.
OK, they don't make a huge difference because they are just ordinary men.
But that's a far cry from "men say nothing".

BertrandRussell · 16/04/2019 10:11

“Lots of men speak out about it on twitter and facebook and such.”

Do they? Absolutely fantastic. Anyone I might know?

BertrandRussell · 16/04/2019 10:10

The Harts, Robert Webb and Patrick Stewart were the ones I was counting on my 1 hand. How deeply depressing is that?

deydododatdodontdeydo · 16/04/2019 09:58

Robert Webb has spoken out about it too.
Lots of men speak out about it on twitter and facebook and such.
But it's easy to say men say nothing.

Popchyk · 16/04/2019 09:35

Those are good points, Bertrand.

Luke and Ryan Hart get a lot of criticism from men for speaking out about male violence, particularly when they talk about domestic violence that women suffer at the hands of men. They get a lot of "why aren't you talking about women's violence perpetrated on men?".

Only 21% of their followers on Twitter are men. And Twitter is man-heavy. Looks like a lot of men don't see it as a serious issue that deserves their own attention.

Patrick Stewart the actor has been speaking out about male violence recently.

BertrandRussell · 16/04/2019 09:00

Just to get it out there- arranged marriage is completely different to forced marriage. You may not agree with either- but they are different things.

Moving on. Of course NAMALT. But count the men who are speaking out against male violence. Won’t take you long- you’ll only need the fingers of one hand.

Count the men who are challenging the culture of male violence in gaming, entertainment and sport. Count the male opinion formers who are taking this as an issue. Count the male journalists who are placing the blame for the death of women where it belongs. Count the fathers who are talking to their sons about consent, and male entitlement, and emotional intelligence.

That Gillette advertisement? Sank without trace.

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