Do i put the fathers name on my babys birth certificate?

My friends girlfriend just said she did not know who the dad was and refused a DNA test. To be honest who wants an ex. breathing down your neck for 18 years.

“The OP isn't going to be able to stop him having a say in their child's medical treatments or house moves, regardless of whether or not she trusts him.”
But he will have to go to court to get it. Putting him on the birth certificate just hands it to him.

"if he can provide proof of payment for therapy then child support doesnt need to be considered unless he gets a promotion/able to afford both."

It's more important for a father to support his chilid than it is for him to get therapy which is very unlikely to change him anyway. Don't let him get away with not paying for his baby.

Not putting him on the birth certificate won't prevent him having any of those rights though. Just make it harder and more expensive for him to gain PR.

The OP isn't going to be able to stop him having a say in their child's medical treatments or house moves, regardless of whether or not she trusts him.

Or a house move?

This is important stuff. In the olden days when mine were little, if you were unmarried you had to go to a solicitor for the father to get parental responsibility. Now women are handing it to crap men without a second thought.

Yep. And on a more trivial note- do you want him being able to veto a holiday?

The medical stuff is really important - if you can't trust him you don't want him having a say in medical treatment. My DD's dad was able to stop her getting psychiatric treatment after trauma which had a long term impact, only did it to be a dick.

If you put the father in the birth certificate, this is what it means “ [He] will also have the right to make decisions about the child’s care and upbringing. Important decisions in a child’s life must be agreed with anyone else who has parental responsibility.

If [he has]parental responsibility for a child then [he] will have a say in:

The name of your child
How your child is educated
Their religious upbringing, if any
Medical treatment
Where and with whom they live
Whether and when they may travel abroad (permanently or temporarily)

Don’t do it.

Listen to Bertrand and Ribbons

You can tell your child who it’s father is, you know! And it doesn’t say father unknown- it just leaves it blank. And why would anyone care?

Wasn’t there a thread the other day, shitty dad cancelling kid hospital app, if you think he’s going to be no good y would you risk it? They can be dicks about all sorts, not just passports.

It's not about you or him, it's about your child and what an awful thing, to deny your child their fathers name on the birth certicate and write father unknown instead.

How you both co parent is a different story, but think of your child growing up with father unknown when you did know.

A friend of mine, his ex partner would not put him on the certificate or acknowledge he was the father because it would affect her benefits. It was easier to claim she said rather than rely on him for money. He was very upset by this.

“A birth certificate is as factual as stating the sex of the child.”

No it isn’t. It is giving the father parental responsibility. That is a big deal ans not to be done without careful consideration.

Don't do it. Let him prove he wants to be involved and actually be a dad and then he can apply to have his name added to it. If you add him now and he decides to fuck off then you'll have problems if you want to travel abroad or things like that. If you didn't think there was a chance of this you wouldn't be questioning it so trust your instincts.

No, I wouldn't.

A birth certificate is as factual as stating the sex of the child. The biological fathers name should be put on as should the biological mothers. Not doing for selfish reasons is just... selfish. Be the bigger person.

“I'm not sure how it works in the UK -- assuming that's where you're based. Does being on the BC automatically mean you have joint custody?”

No. But it does mean he has parental responsibility.

if you put his name on there its a disaster waiting to happen

Don't put him on. Use your surname. He's already shown to be a waster and a liar. He framing up to be a typical dead-beat dad. Why would you want him in your lives?

What gives you the higher hand to decide should his name be there or not ?

The law does.

correction: Austrian law is terrible for the dad if they are not married and he wants to be responsibly involved.

You could not get pregnant without that man.
What gives you the higher hand to decide should his name be there or not ? Your child might grow up more closer to the father than you.
You both have equal rights when it comes to being parent you being a mother and him being a father. You cannot be a father and he cannot be a mother.
His name should be there he is the dad off!

I didn’t. Added him later.

The DC also have my name.

I'm not sure how it works in the UK -- assuming that's where you're based. Does being on the BC automatically mean you have joint custody?

My son has a daughter and was never married to the mum; they split up when the baby was about 3. He is on the birth certificate but the mother refused to give him joint custody, she is Austrian and that is the law there; it's not automatic.

Son is a fantastic father and would have married her but she didn't want to, has hippie-ish notions of freedom. And because he doesn't have any say, she took off when the kid was 3 and took her to China for three years. Then the child was in the way of what she wanted to do so she sent her to stay with my son for a year -- in South America. She was seven and just starting school.. It went really, really well. He returned her to mum after a year and mum had custody again and went to live in Berlin but didn't like it and moved to Austria and hates it even more there, wants to move on. So now there's talk of sending the poor kid back to Dad for a while, to go to school in Ireland. We are all very keen to have her here.

This is of course irrelevant to the OP's dilemma but by now the kid has lived in five different countries, and Ireland will be the sixth (the one advantage is that she is basically trilingual now). All because there is no joint custody which of course is in the mum's interest as DS would never gave allowed her to swan off to China.

That's why my original question, birth certificate registration might not necessarily mean custody, unless that is UK law. I assume it is, judging by the replies above!

Austrian law is terrible for the dad if they are not married. He can only get joint custody if the mum applies for it; but he has to be on the bc (by law) and pay maintenance.

Both in Austria and Germany they also oversee dad's maintenance payments, and if he can't, or doesn't, pay, he accumulates a debt from social services! Which is a good thing as I think it makes men a little more conscious of their responsibility, both in birth control as in parental duty and involvement.

Sorry for the long rant derail. It's the wine!