Do i put the fathers name on my babys birth certificate?

Yes good decision. And they don't write Unknown in the father box Bluntness, they leave it blank

What PurpleCrowbar said. You CAN'T "put him on the birth certificate".
He can show up to registration and put himself on. If you object to that, then he can apply through the courts.
Ds father didn't show up to register him with me (unmarried) so he's not on there. He hasn't ever been arsed to change that, so it remains.
The bc DOES NOT say "father unknown"This is not the 1950s ffs.
Ds knows who his dad is so it's not an issue for him.
I prefer that his dad has no PR (since I have been the resident parent) but would not contest it if he wanted for pay the 200 quid to change the bc. Which he never would!

Wise decision OP. These things can be altered, but for now follow your gut.

Out of curiosity I very much doubt my son now almost 12 deadbeat father could get paternal rights now as he has been absent all of his life. Surely one would have to prove after 12 years of absence that they are interested and it's not just a silly whim? I get around £500 per month via attachment of earnings but not a phone call in 12 years. At the time I recieved solicitors letters demanding he to go in the birth certificate. I am so glad I never! I've got a feeling if they request paternal rights at a later date they must have to show the court a modicum of commitment to the child.

Best of luck OP.

Obviously I disagree with your choice but only you know all the circumstances and clearly you have your child's best interests at heart.

Bertrand
You post at 11:16

Which means he has an automatic say in any decision you make about YOUR child.

Couldn't/Shouldn't that say HIS child?

Wise decision OP.

One of many things I've learned since being on MN is Do Not put his name on the BC. Totally agree with your comment its about protecting the child.

For goodness sakes, if people can’t RTFT (or at least OP’s updates) why bother.. I am way over invested clearly.

And yes.. you can tell your child their father’s name (gasp!) and answer any questions they have (omg!) without giving someone the same parental authority as you have. Only for them to then disappear in a puff of smoke and reappear every few years to wreak havoc before vanishing again.

PCohle yes I may have been a bit testy. Apologies.

“Add him, it's for your child they deserve to know the name of their parents.”
Presumably the mother could-you know- tell the child their father’s name?

That's some shit parenting you're recommending OP engage in foxmuffin. The decision should be made in the child's best interests, not out of some idiotic you made your bed so you lie in it mentality. I appreciate that there are some arguments for including him that are made in an attempt to prioritise the childs welfare: I think the stuff about feeling sad about a gap is misguided, but it comes from the right place. You aren't.

Add him, it's for your child they deserve to know the name of their parents. If he remains around great, if not your child at least knows their origins

I haven’t read all the responses but you got pregnant by this man. He IS the father. He should therefore be on the birth certificate. Think it’s disgusting that you would consider doing otherwise. You made your bed with him!

As a mother who has never been able to take her teenage children abroad, I say don’t put him on the BC if you think there’s a chance he’ll either disappear or be difficult about you taking your child on holiday/moving house/medical decisions etc.
We have a non-contact order in place against my abusive ex and I have been told I could get a court order allowing me to take the kids abroad but not without them contacting him for permission first. I quite honestly cannot go through the trauma of having to go to court ever again and also cannot afford the risk of him seeing documents with our address on etc. Ridiculous system. Parental responsibility is not taken away very easily (even in my situation where he is not allowed to contact his own children so what’s the point in him having PR!) and therefore should not be given so easily either

@AltogetherAndrews you dont have a clue what you are talking about. Not being on the BC does not affect access it's about parental responsibility. The OP has never said she wishes to restrict access... she is rightly cautious about handing parental responsibility to someone whom she does not trust.
Of course if he applies to court he would probably get on the birth certificate.
The issue is that if you go out of your way to arrange the father coming with you to sign the birth certificate when you dont really trust him it could end up a nightmare for you and your child.
He could disappear completely making it hard for you to get his permission for medical situations or leaving the country.... he could turn out to be a bellend who has very little to do with the child but will not grant permission for anything out of spite, he could use it to control and abuse you both...
It's not something that any sane woman should facilitate unless they trust them!
The law is set up like this to protect women and chikdren from these situations.
It's not about spite or getting revenge.
And the court would not 'tear her to shreds' for not personally inviting him to sign the BC with her because she is not legally required to do so. It's entirely up to her.

“If this guy ends up taking you to Court, you will get torn to shreds with this attitude.”

No she won’t. The father will just be given parental responsibility if the Court considers it appropriate.

There is no 'will' about it. He probably would succeed, but it isnt inevitable and I have seen cases where PR hasn't been granted by the court. It isnt a very high barrier they have to meet, but nor is it nothing.

If this guy ends up taking you to Court, you will get torn to shreds with this attitude.

You can’t restrict contact just because he fails to meet your standards. You can’t dictate that he goes to therapy. Your child has a right to a full relationship with their father, unless that father presents an actual, observable and significant risk to the child.

By all means don’t put him on the certificate, but if he takes you to court he will get added.

Wow, some people really don’t have a clue.

Yes Blue is right. This is honestly not about punishing the father or being mean or anything. If we’re all doom-glooming over nothing and he turns into a stellar father (I hope he does)... you can add him at any time.

But if you add him now and he vanishes? = 18 years of headache.

“Secondly, I find it awful that father's aren't put on when the mother knows who they are.”

Whtever he’s like? Really?

Yes of course I understand that. What have I said that gives you the impression I don't?

I am certainly not saying putting the father on the birth certificate guarantees a great co-parenting relationship. Just that refusal doesn't support amicability and cooperation from the off.

The father would have to turn up with the OP to register the birth to allow himself to be put on the birth certificate anyway. A truly disengaged father therefore isn't going to be put on the birth certificate at all.

There is currently a thread in legal where the child's father has taken their child against their agreement, and the police can do nothing because he has PR. Imagine that scenario with a newborn. Yes he can go to court and get PR anyway but it will take a while and at least when newly post partum OP won't have to worry about him trying to exercise his 'rights' in ways that make life difficult for her.

PCohle ... sorry to break it to you but some fathers (and presumably mothers) truly disappear. And no amount of asking, inviting, sending cute photos, minimising your child’s needs to make it enticing to see them, can make them show up. It is heart breaking but true.

Do you get that?

It was not my getting the BC without him which “undermined the prospects of a cooperative and amicable coparenting relationship.”

It was him fading away and changing his phone no. FFS.

Firstly he has to come with you to do it anyway.

Secondly, I find it awful that father's aren't put on when the mother knows who they are. You book and appointment with him that he can attend. If he doesn't show then fair enough but if he does he goes on it.