Pink nail varnish for boys

Quite apart from the awful sexism of trying to stop small boys from playing with nail varnish or dressing up as princesses, I fear for all the boys who actually ARE gay, but who risk being forced down the trans pathway to sterility and mutilation. Ditto autistic kids of either sex, who often don’t feel they fit in and are vulnerable to TRA brainwashing, and young lesbians who may also be told they’re transmen.

Some people like pretty/shiny things. It shouldn’t be gendered, although it currently is. I don’t want women to have to denounce the shiny, so the only way to ungender it is to let boys embrace it.

As an atheist, the only bit I really like about Xmas is the decorations - twinkly lights, tinsel, baubles etc. I’m a proper magpie for shiny shit all year, but when the days are at their shortest, I really do believe that the fairy lights are good for everyone’s mental health. It’s probably why we invented the tradition - most of our European Xmas stuff is more Yule inspired than anything biblical, and Yule was all about surviving the bleak midwinter.

Anyway, if shiny shit helps to keep us going when seasonal affective sadness sets in, I don’t see any reason not to think it might be similarly useful all year round.

We’re just going to have to find some snappy one-liners to shut down any suggestions that nail paint on boys = anything more meaningful than a perfectly reasonable liking for shiny shit.

Bloody hell, that's my nightmare!! What did you say to them?!

Its the only time I have been less than polite to the school. I started off ok. saying he just likes a range of things rather than being shoved into one box or the other, and has been allowed to do this since pretty much being born. They kept insisting that I should go to the GP and get a referral I asked referal for what, not liking enough blue things and superheros?! And it went downhill from there. I assure her that if when he gets older, if he says he has an actual discomfort with his sexed body (rather than just stereotypes) I will go from there, but for now, fuck that. I took the oppurtunity to ask if the school had any Mermaid type days planned and they did, not for him but for DDs year and above apparently. I took THAT oppurtunity to tell the other parents exactly what Mermaids and such teach young kidsm, and that they are nowt but pressure groups, and near all parents pulled their kids out of that too, then it got cancelled as there was literally 3 or 4 kids in a whole class still going. Can't remember if it was allsorts or gendered intelligence, was one of the 'if boys loike pink get them on blockers!' types though

I found it odd that they made such a fuss over that, when SURELY its totally usual for kids to play dressup or whatever with a range of stuff, and play with a range of toys and that too. I would have thought it would be unusual if a child, especially at 3 stuck rigidly to sterotypical stuff, that would worry me that they have no freedom at all at home?!

No, wait, he said that he's not really gay because he's attracted to transmen. Whatever. It's cotton ceiling stuff and he's taken loads of hate over it.

Also I just looked up James Charles and he's been ripped apart on Twitter this week for saying that gay men don't like vaginas (because men have those too, remember) - imagine that!

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole Bloody hell, that's my nightmare!! What did you say to them?!

I do worry about this a bit..DS is only 4 but hes always been into 'feminine' stuff. His nursery for fucks sake, just last year pulled me aside and asked me if I thought he was trans and said they could provide support. Why?

If this is UK, there has been some training/guidance by TRAs for nursery provision:

2105 Interview with Susie Green for Day Nurseries

(extract)
“I first realised Jackie was different when she was 18 months old,” says her mum Susie Green.

"Although she was my first child, I had lots of nephews and nieces and Jackie just didn’t seem to behave like them.

“She’d go into my wardrobe, put on dresses and she even put my bra on at 18 months.

“The nursery staff were telling me Jackie was different when she went there at two and a half years old.”

Cross-dressing in the dressing up box

At nursery Jackie never played with the boys, always took a female role in the games played and would treat the soft toys like babies or pretend to have tea with them.

“She couldn’t wait to get into the dressing up box. She’d come out as Snow White with a jumper on her head and the arms trailing down to make it look like she had long hair.” (continues)

www.daynurseries.co.uk/news/article.cfm/id/1571947/Transgender-children-How-nurseries-can-support-those-with-gender-identity-issues

I'd be worried about what could happen if the nursery decide he is and that you're failing to 'affirm' him

Oh to be clear for screenshotters, I did not mean I worry about him being trans. I meant I worry others will convince him he is so, just because he prefers dolls to cars.

I do worry about this a bit..DS is only 4 but hes always been into 'feminine' stuff. His nursery for fucks sake, just last year pulled me aside and asked me if I thought he was trans and said they could provide support. Why? Because he favours the princess dresses when its time to play with clothes

I put nail varnish and that on him when he asks like, why not. But it does worry me a bit that seeing how he is rather feminine for a boy, some 'well meaning' people will start the ball to blockers rolling. Fuck that.

Why are you asking? Has anyone apart from you has used the word "girly"

Sorry I see lovecats did. She is correct about it being wrong to have preconceptions of people that are girly or like girly things - particularly if one's preconceptions extend to thinking wearing nail varnish =aping porn and wearing perfume is only to please men.

Is it acceptable to not like the word "girly" or does that make me "closed mind"?

Why are you asking? Has anyone apart from you has used the word "girly".

We should all be free to express ourselves as we please...

Thank you!

Tad hypocritical given it would be brilliant according to you if women stopped being feminine.

I had this same thought and posted a thread a few weeks ago.
Awful to consider imposing stereotypes and pushing utter bullshit like "pink is for girls" on your kids, because if they don't know that "pink is for girls" they may get labelled as a boy trapped in the wrong body, rather than a kid who's family haven't taught him utter bullshit (like pink is for girls).
But I'm there with you.
How can we be thinking like this.

I have 2 boys and 1 girl.

My personal mantra is what what would I think if my opposite sex child did this? If it's wouldn't give a fuck then it's ok for the child. If I wouldn't like it then it's probably not ok.

I understand that there's an awkward age when they are about to start nursery or school and they will hear stuff like only girls like pink or boys don't wear dresses but have that conversation with him when it crops up later. He may decide to ditch the princess dresses then.

There are male make up stars that are starting to emerge. James Charles calls himself male and is definitely a man who wears make up rather than a drag queen or similar. He's been very successful selling makeup to his young female fans. I'm not saying that your son will be wearing makeup until he's an adult but the attitude towards males in makeup is slowly changing.

Thanks.

It's fine to not like the word. But not to have preconceptions of people that are girly or like girly things.

Is it acceptable to not like the word "girly" or does that make me "closed mind"?

We should all be free to express ourselves as we please...

Thank you!

And hopefully not get called a flipping dictator for having a view!

Sounds a bit made up to be honest.

Yeah, I made stuff up just to annoy you.

I think some posters have a bit of a skewed view on feminine/girly things.

You can care about having nice hair and still not worry about going out in the rain. You can have nice manicured painted nails without having tallons that prohibit you from using your hands. You can wear perfume and make up just to feel good about yourself, it's not just to attract a man or look like a porn star. Women did all these things before porn became mainstream.

We should all be free to express ourselves as we please and it should have no baring on gender, sex, political opinions or agendas.

On the subject of the porn allusion - here's another opinion which you don't have to agree with

The leap from a toddler colouring their nails to porn was bizarre. I don't really know what was going on in your head (or that poster's head as there are 2 "Horsewithno...posters)

One of them thinks Would it be fucking brilliant if things evolved to the point that in the future the only people that perform femininity were men.

Brilliant for whom ? You ? Fine. I'd hate It- especially if it came with the sort of censorious attitude of some posters on here.

you know, the kind that's debilitating - can't run for a bus, unable to go out in the rain because hair! Just daft in my opinion No I don't know actually. Sounds a bit made up to be honest.

As to what might be "excessive femininity" - or "debilitating" well who knows what that might mean. One of the"Horsewithno.." posters thinks wearing perfume is done with the motive of attracting men so the bar of what might be excessive or debilitating might be set quite low.

I wasn't only alluding to you - starzig' s comments are in the same vein.

Here, here. Deriding or sneering at anything pretty or feminine or jumping to the conclusion that it's porn related or only done to catch a man is just as bad as insisting women should be feminine.

Are you alluding to me?

If so please don't put words into my mouth; I didn't say any of that.

For starters my comment was about excessive femininity, you know, the kind that's debilitating - can't run for a bus, unable to go out in the rain because hair! Just daft in my opinion. You do know the difference between expressing and opinion and being dictatorial? Maybe not.

On the subject of the porn allusion - here's another opinion which you don't have to agree with:

I believe that we are living in what some people call "porn culture" and I don't like it. It starts a lot sooner than you'd like to think - does anyone remember those baby shoes with heels for God's sake? And how long before they start selling pole-dancing sets for little girls?

Perhaps your comments were not directed at me or anything I've said in which case ignore this post.

Theres nothing inherently silly about liking pretty things just as theres nothing inherently intelligent or noble about not caring about the way things look....

Here, here. Deriding or sneering at anything pretty or feminine or jumping to the conclusion that it's porn related or only done to catch a man is just as bad as insisting women should be feminine.

I think that this from 4th wave now is relevant.
9 year old girl - happy being a girl, but parents think she 'looks like a boy' now the parent are questioning her 'gender' and want her to talk to a therapist.
Obviously the parents aren't doing that in this case, but it shows how some children are being pushed down this route.
twitter.com/4th_WaveNow/status/1116776048182607872

Excuse me starzig but what is actually wrong with wanting to be pretty or have fun with your image? Surely the problem is not that in itself but the fact in the past there was no freedom of choice for women, they HAD to look a certain way or face censure. Another problem is that having fun with image and looking 'pretty' are thought of a silly frivolous things BECAUSE they are associated with women and as such are thought of as a bit of a joke when men are interested in those things...
Surely it's important to allow people regardless of gender, to express themselves however they want? Theres nothing inherently silly about liking pretty things just as theres nothing inherently intelligent or noble about not caring about the way things look.... I personally think it holds women back more if you feed into the idea that liking nail varnish or wearing false lashes makes you not worthy of respect or some kind of foolish idiot... we shouldnt all have to act traditionally masculine in order to be worthy of respect. There is nothing wrong with wearing nail varnish.