BBC "top story": How I came out as non-binary to my parents

ZenNudist, ne worries, I was joking about being offended (did the dramatic swoon not give it away? )

I've been saying for ages that I am non binary. I didn't come out to my patents though. Was I supposed to?

Floral I like Sue Perkins, its not meant to be an insult ... Caitlin is also prettier, well 'they' are younger anyway...

Its a masculine style but still recognisably female. Im not slagging it off!

BUT still a cliche that in order to represent non binary then this means women dress in a manly way and the man dresses well im not sure what he/they/shay is dressed as.... widow twanky? (Mean, sorry).

Caitlin looks like me. Does that mean I'm a cliche channelling Sue Perkins?

How very cliche that the Beeb has got Caitlin channelling Sue Perkins (they look good) and the other person dressed like a dogs breakfast.

Non-binary female bodied people always dress like men. Ive not come across any non binary men (in the public eye). What do they usually do ? Surely raiding the dressing up box is more in the realms of trans?

I too think coming out as non- binary is a non-thing. Apparently the main affect is on pronouns and name (shouldn't Caitlin become Cantarus or similar ungendered 'name'?).

Non binary sounds like simply not accepting the social stereotypes. Evidently not ...

There seem to be two flavours of non-binary, one seems just like any gender non-conforming person, and the other seems to require hormones and surgery (to transition to what?)

I was hoping that BillyBadBreaks would come back and enlighten us.

Non binary sounds like simply not accepting the social stereotypes. Evidently not...

If you can bear to sit through half an hour of cutesy YouTube vids with fairy lights in the background, the aforementioned Ash Hardell is actually a very useful source of information for a lot of what variously self-labelled individuals consider about what is important to their identities.

Urgh. What a load of navel gazing nonsense. What is the BBCs agenda at the moment. Every day there are these boring nothing stories about dull unimportant stuff. So she doesn't like "girly" stuff. Yawn. Whatever.

FloralBunting I'm surprised to hear it's part of the "non binary" identification. It seems more obvious when a girl decides she's a boy..

Non binary sounds like simply not accepting the social stereotypes. Evidently not ...

blueskiesovertheforest

That's one of the things we've been talking about on here for ages. It's one of the significant reasons why some of the regulars here have been pressing the issue of safeguarding so persistently.

FloralBunting that is disturbing and suggests deep-seated avoidance of whatever the source of hatred of the breasts was - abuse or something else traumatic?

BillyBadBreaks it seems very much like "coming out" as hetrosexual or as having blond hair or liking classical/ rock / insert fairly mainstream music type.

As in it seems to be making a big drama about being ordinary.

Not only are they very skilled navel gazers, this person has a lot of money to waste. Parents living in Australia, jetting back and forth every year? Do they get surgery done on the NHS, in a country where so many are living homeless or on foodbanks while working for a living?

I too think the appropriation of the term "coming out" is massively offensive.

I'm not gay, but I have people close to me who really struggled with coming out and with genuine fears of being ostracised by their whole family, losing jobs, homes, etc. And of course older gay people with fears that they would be prosecuted.

Essentially saying "look at me, I don't fit sex stereotypes" (well, duh) is not a trauma, ffs. Using that term for what feminists have been saying for the last 50 years is utterly pathetic.

Everyone is falling over themselves to be special, huh? Perhaps rather than focussing on 'being someone' perhaps you can do something, Caitlin? How utterly tiresome and narcissistic.

I’m confused.

Yup, Billy, what is a non binary person? We are unimpressed at the build up to this reveal and then there was nothing. Just an ordinary person doing the same as the rest of the planet. So so tell, what have they come out about?

Or, what is "non-binary" in terms of being something different to a person not complying with gender stereotypes, and choosing to reject gender (as a label for themselves)?

Gosh yes, it must be really hellish for someone who is completely ordinary, has a personality of quirks and likes and dislikes, to read through a thread like this and realize they are not, after all, a ground breaking new thing that must be acknowledged as very special or be oppressed.

That would be terrible.

She's got a great haircut though. And I am loving the tailoring and tie thing. She looks like me, which will probably be even more horrendous for her as I'm a dull old married bisexual 40 something.

Billy Could you explain to us what non-binary is? The problem is that some of us are struggling to understand the concept.

Imagine if you were a non-binary person reading through this thread with most of its comments verging on mocking hostility. Would "coming out" not seem like a big deal to you? Would you not be interested to find a podcast by someone who feels like you?

That's the thing - many of us think that (given the criteria for 'non-binary', as far as we can see them) we are non-binary.

What we don't get is why it's such a big bloody deal.

Imagine if you were a non-binary person reading through this thread with most of its comments verging on mocking hostility. Would "coming out" not seem like a big deal to you? Would you not be interested to find a podcast by someone who feels like you?

It's also funny how so many of you have criticised others for being so concerned with their appearance then finished off your message with a comment about how this person just looks like everyone else.

Caitlyn looks like thousands of girls and women I've known throughout my life.

"Coming out" was and still is a massive deal for most (if not all) gay men and lesbians. That people who are simply presenting themselves like many other people use this term is - frankly - a fucking insult and a slap in the face to gay people who've suffered persecution and being cut off by their families because of it.

I speak as a 60 year old woman who is still not out to some people (for professional reasons).