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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

“Trans day of visibility” being on Mother’s Day

59 replies

Dyrne · 31/03/2019 10:22

All right, I know it’s probably because the Trans day of visibility thing is American driven and their Mother’s Day isn’t today...

But i’m feeling petty, and it feels like announcing today as the Trans Day of visibility feels like one more way to say “budge up women, we’re sharing your day; please focus on us today, no one cares anout what your uteruses have done; not all women have uteruses you know” etc etc.

My local police force have made a Facebook post showing a photo of them proudly flying the Trans flag at their HQ. So far absolutely nothing recognising all the mothers that work for them.

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LimeKiwi · 02/04/2019 11:40

Exactly @Over50andFab, wrote and there for all to see in black and white! Confused
Glad you can see it too lol as read with a bit of an "Eh, but you diddd" look on my face lol

over50andfab · 02/04/2019 11:14

Whiterose, You wrote this:

“Wondering if I'm the only person who thinks that trans day of visibility is unnecessary because we can generally spot if someone is trans. They rarely look like the gender that they want to be. So they're actually visible all year round.”

So just focusing on the looks, saying you can generally spot if someone is trans, made it seem you didn’t understand the point of the day.

But then another poster wrote that perhaps you meant it as humour?

No matter, I had never heard of the day before so googled and copied an explanation above of what it is supposed to represent.

whiteroseredrose · 01/04/2019 20:56

Limekiwi - I'm not 'reducing it to looks', it's my impression that the trans community do that. My clothes don't make me a woman but trans women seem to think it does.

over50andfab · 01/04/2019 09:48

Zanahoria, perhaps it’s just as well it isn’t then, as trans people would probably come in for more grief then they do already.

According to my link above, April 1 marks the start to:
Amatsu therapy month,
Family safety week
Bowel cancer awareness month
World autism awareness month
IBS awareness month

Seems there’s awareness for pretty well anything - I’d never heard of
Amatsu therapy Hmm

zanahoria · 01/04/2019 07:57

If Trans day of visibility waa April 1st it would be impossible to tell spoofs from the news.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 31/03/2019 20:38

Trans day is a fixed date. Mother's day isn't the same date every year so at some point will be on some sort of awareness day.

LimeKiwi · 31/03/2019 20:27

but neither should be put down as both are relevant in their own way

Agree

AprilSeventeen · 31/03/2019 20:19

I read this in one of my FB groups and I think it's amazing.
Nothing like this has ever been written about being trans.
This is for mothers. Yes, some women can't be mothers and that is sad ofc, doesn't mean we have to be quiet about it though.

THE REPUBLIC OF MOTHERHOOD
By Liz Berry

I crossed the border into the Republic of Motherhood
and found it a queendom, a wild queendom.
I handed over my clothes and took its uniform,
its dressing gown and undergarments, a cardigan
soft as a creature, smelling of birth and milk,
and I lay down in Motherhood’s bed, the bed I had made
but could not sleep in, for I was called at once to work
in the factory of Motherhood. The owl shift,
the graveyard shift. Feedingcleaninglovingfeeding.
I walked home, heartsore, through pale streets,
the coins of Motherhood singing in my pockets.
Then I soaked my spindled bones
in the chill municipal baths of Motherhood,
watching strands of my hair float from my fingers.
Each day I pushed my pram through freeze and blossom
down the wide boulevards of Motherhood
where poplars bent their branches to stroke my brow.
I stood with my sisters in the queues of Motherhood –
the weighing clinic, the supermarket – waiting
for Motherhood’s bureaucracies to open their doors.
As required, I stood beneath the flag of Motherhood
and opened my mouth although I did not know the anthem.
When darkness fell I pushed my pram home again,
and by lamplight wrote urgent letters of complaint
to the Department of Motherhood but received no response.
I grew sick and was healed in the hospitals of Motherhood
with their long-closed isolation wards
and narrow beds watched over by a fat moon.
The doctors were slender and efficient
and when I was well they gave me my pram again
so I could stare at the daffodils in the parks of Motherhood
while winds pierced my breasts like silver arrows.
In snowfall, I haunted Motherhood’s cemeteries,
the sweet fallen beneath my feet –
Our Lady of the Birth Trauma, Our Lady of Psychosis.
I wanted to speak to them, tell them I understood,
but the words came out scrambled, so I knelt instead
and prayed in the chapel of Motherhood, prayed
for that whole wild fucking queendom,
its sorrow, its unbearable skinless beauty,
and all the souls that were in it. I prayed and prayed
until my voice was a nightcry
and sunlight pixelated my face like a kaleidoscope.

over50andfab · 31/03/2019 20:18

MenuPlant - I hadn’t heard of that one. I guess a lot of traditions like this change ove the years and sometimes the exact origin is unknown or could be several things. Perhaps servants being given the day off to return to their families is similar to going back to their mother church, it being the place where they were born.

For those who say they don’t get the ITDV, well I put an explanation above. It’s really one of many many awareness days that run over the year - some might be relatable, most others probably now. Have a look here for those in the U.K..
www.awarenessdays.com/location/united-kingdom/

I mean, I don’t relate particularly to the richter scale day, say, but others who might have been caught in earthquakes might.

So...today is a celebration of both Mothering Sunday and International Trans Day of Awareness. Some might celebrate the first, some the second, and others both of them. But neither should be put down as both are relevant in their own way.

Yossarian22 · 31/03/2019 20:10

Doesn’t like asterisks- so I’ll rewrite it, s**t 😀

Yossarian22 · 31/03/2019 20:06

Lime it seems humour is subjective but not when it comes to claiming biological males have female souls and sex is assigned at birth. We’re all supposed to accept that crock of with hallowed reverence.

RoseAndRose · 31/03/2019 20:00

"it’s only annoying like once every seven years?"

Way less than that, as Mothering Sunday date is tied in with Easter.

Next time Easter is on 21 April (so Mothering Sunday on 31 March) is 2030. After that 2041. 2052, then not again until 2109

hipsterfun · 31/03/2019 19:58

I’m not amused by ‘woman’ being reduced to appearance and mannerisms as it happens, but do run it by the West Yorkshire Police Mild Pisstaking Unit if it bothers you Grin

MenuPlant · 31/03/2019 19:56

Meanwhile mothers are blamed for pretty much all the problems in society.

And when I had small children I found quite a lot of people were aggressive towards me in a way they hadn't been when I was by myself.

placemats · 31/03/2019 19:53

I don't understand trans visibility because surely the whole point of being trans is to fit in with the sex/gender you desire to be.

A mother is very visible though. As humans we have always celebrated motherhood; a civilised society ensures that mothers get the rewards they so obviously deserve.

Mother of three signing off.

LimeKiwi · 31/03/2019 19:51

Maybe humour, but reducing it to looks and taking the piss out of appearance is maybe a subjective branch of humour. Each to their own though, what I find funny you probably won't. Humour's subjective and all that.

littlecabbage · 31/03/2019 19:48

Have just checked, and I'm pleased to report that my local police force is tweeting "Happy Mothers Day" and asking us to think of all those mothers working in this police force today. No mention of trans day at all.

MenuPlant · 31/03/2019 19:48

Over 50 I thought mothering Sunday was originally about going back to your 'mother' church?

hipsterfun · 31/03/2019 19:42

it's a bit of a literal take to think it's literally about visible/invisible.

No shit!

Maybe, just maybe, it was intended as humour...

LimeKiwi · 31/03/2019 19:31

Some of these comments show exactly why they'll feel there is a need for awareness, and it's a bit of a literal take to think it's literally about visible/invisible.
It'll mean to raise awareness and understanding I'd have thought.

Yossarian22 · 31/03/2019 18:44

Whiterose😀
A day of invisibility doesn’t quite have the same needy ring to it though.

over50andfab · 31/03/2019 17:12

“International Transgender Day of Visibility is an annual event occurring on March 31 dedicated to celebrating transgender people and raising awareness of discrimination faced by transgender people worldwide.”

Perhaps this is seen as unnecessary to some - but then it might be more relevant to those who wish to celebrate it or are affected by it.

“Mothering Sunday is the fourth Sunday of Lent. Although it's often called Mothers' Day it has no connection with the American festival of that name.

Traditionally, it was a day when children, mainly daughters, who had gone to work as domestic servants were given a day off to visit their mother and family.

Today it is a day when children give presents, flowers, and home-made cards to their mothers.“

So this day has actually evolved from what it used to be, and for the same reasons stated above - ie seen as necessary by those involved. .

whiteroseredrose · 31/03/2019 16:46

Wondering if I'm the only person who thinks that trans day of visibility is unnecessary because we can generally spot if someone is trans. They rarely look like the gender that they want to be. So they're actually visible all year round.

GrumpyGran8 · 31/03/2019 16:40

Is there a significance to 31 March at all?
Nothing that I can find. It was the date of the first TDV march, in 2009, so the organisers kept it.

MenuPlant · 31/03/2019 14:45

Happy today for all who identify as mothers! Including gestators.