Good things that happen when you wear an "Adult Human Female" hoodie

I'm so happy to see women here talking about their experiences of wearing an AHF top.

I think I'm now going to buy the tote bag - will suit me better.

This is a big move for me - as the past 18 months has been a time where I've been forced into silence. I'm now starting to speak up but it still makes me feel very guilty and ashamed.

It's Mother's Day here in the UK. I'm trying to feel good about myself and my abilities as a mother. It's hard - 2 years ago my Mother's Day experience was very different. My daughter showered me with love, affection, flowers and cake - and gratitude for the way she'd been raised. Today I sit here, with a cake in the oven for my own Mum, trying not to cry or feel upset.

My daughter says she's now my 'son'. She's re-written history to insist she's always felt like this.

I have tried to support and accept, but at the same time was driven almost mad by the absolute insistence that she was not a woman and never had been. I spoke my truth, as lovingly and kindly as I could - how could the female I gave birth to and raised for 20 years, happy in her femaleness, suddenly have become a trans 'boy'?

It is not possible to change sex. And those who develop gender dysphoria, or other mental health symptoms that make them hate their natal body and their sexed 'identity', need our help and love through therapy and support. Not through a path of affirmation, hormones and surgery.

Because I hope for an open future for my daughter she says she will never contact me again.

Genderism requires every one of us to affirm and acquiesce - or to stay silent.

Even if it is too late for my own daughter, I can no longer stay silent.

Ps redredrobins, congrats on the hoody and good luck with wearing it - that really does take courage, round there!

Do you think “guys” is ok, redredrobins?

Why do you think it is that a word for men is supposed to include women, but there is no comparable word for women that is supposed to include men?

Where does the idea that male is the default human come from? Is that an idea or an ideology you wish to promote, support, enable?

Please don’t think I’m asking these questions in an accusatory or critical way. I am not trying to police your words, but genuinely asking you to think about it for yourself, seeing as you asked if it was “OK”.

Never mind whether it’s OK for others. Is it OK for you?

(Sorry! Complete derail! Something I’m thinking about atm!)

Yabbers - the OP is fairly clear: Good things that happen when you wear an "Adult Human Female" hoodie - What has happened to you when you wear yours?

Do you have a story to share?

I shared mine: a man was happy to see it because he could tell his wife about me and build her confidence to wear her own in public when she was out by herself.

That's the thread. It's an invitation for women to share good things that have happened to them.

Interesting that the OP cannot be respected and that we cannot have a thread with celebratory intent without it being brigaded. Even more interesting that brigading (active) is characterised as being bullied (passive). Are you familiar with the concept of DARVO?

@Fridasrage

Your original point about offence has been addressed a lot. There is an interesting discussion to be had about what strategies are effective and where and how compromise can achieve what we want better than direct action.

Why not start a new thread on that?

Surely you can see why a new poster who seems to keep the discussion going in circles and avoids stating their own views might be viewed with suspicion about their reasons for doing so on an existing thread?

@GuitarGeek

It's such a shame as there is discussion needed. But it seems that unless you are in the group wearing a hoodie/tshirt then you are the enemy. It does put people off from engaging, me included.

I presume you are new to MN, but it's all like this. I've had my head bitten off on FWR, but it pales next to AIBU. It's not about whether you agree, it's the general free-for-all tone of the popular boards. If the debate on this thread is too robust then honestly I think netmums might be a better fit.

(Must check whether there is a GC feminist board on netmums)

If you can put up with bolshy women then why not stay and post a thread of the kind I suggested above? It's not really surprising that people push back against criticism of someone doing something which is (sadly) a little brave in support of women's rights.

I have the hoody but haven't worn it yet, bit scared, I live very close to Brighton which has to be one of the most woke places in UK. But I will put on my big girl pants and wear it tomorrow. This thread has given me the courage needed. Thanks guys (is guys OK?).

Bullied? Does that mean challenged? I haven't seen any bullying here. If you have, you should report it.

Thanks, Spartacus! I'll go for the £30. I think that may have the pocket and the other one doesn't.

This is what puts off people posting. Someone doesn't agree with the hoodie wearing so they get accused of running away if they don't post back straight away and then a comment saying 'he'

@GuitarGeek Exactly. It's turned into an echo chamber where anyone who raises any opposing view is bullied out of any post.

MN would be as well shutting it down for all the purpose it serves. It's a real shame as there are actually some serious feminism issues which need to be resolved but get little attention here as everything inevitably turns in to a trans thread.

And yes, I will post this and bugger off because I can't be arsed with the bullying. Just wanted @GuitarGeek to know she isn't the only one who feels that way.

while yes it should not be controversal and wasn’t before, the context has changed.

Against the best interests of women. Which is why it is necessary that women challenge it, and stand up for the original context instead of meekly accepting it for fear of being offensive.

The whole point is to challenge that reality is offensive. And that this should not happen in any sane, free country, where the government has half a remaining grain of sense and comprehension of the ridiculously vast, expensive information they have commissioned and written regarding equality. As summarised by Rhys-Mogg, 'other people have rights too'.

There are two hoodies there - one £25 and one £30 and they look identical. Am I missing something? Which would people recommend, and which size equates roughly to 12/14?

I want one!
I don't expect it to "change anyone's mind" I don't expect high-fives from strangers or anything.
I just like to think it will show a bit of solidarity to anyone passing who is on side and remind them it's OK.
And it will send a bit of cash the way of Posie Parker too. Who I support.

I've wanted one for ages but feel about it the way I do about going for a new hair colour. Nervous and putting it off but excited !

I find the adult human female t-shirt wildly unflattering for me, as I am large of nork and have the kind of pot belly that can only be achieved by gestating a 12lb baby. however I love my AHF tote bag and use it every day to take my lunch to work.

i'm not really a t-shirt or hoody person (much prefer a nicely ironed shirt), so I'm pleased to see SFW producing other merch that I can buy. eyeing up the pens next.....

I’m too chicken but I love the red and black one with the ‘women aren’t shifting get over it’ sentiment (I forget the exact wording bit has a hand on it that looks like it’s tweaking a nipple).

I work next to SOAS (woke central) so probably not best to wear one to work. I might make the Tweenies swoon.

www.standingforwomen.com/product-page/mother-a-female-parent

Just to remind you that Standing for Women has some other excellent merch too - this mother T-shirt is my next purchase (along with a pen and a bumper pack of stickers).

For those of you who are too nervous to wear one, you will be fine. Wear your hoodie with pride!

Right, I think this thread has just reminded me of something I need to buy... and then wear. Thanks, OP!

Blimey last year's t shirt a bit tight, will squeeze into it for TAD ... off to order bigger size and more stickers

I'll say again: OP wants celebratory stories!

just that the phrase AHF became politically charged because it was adopted by people who use it in an inflammatory context.

How so?

Its a strong allegation.

One of the reasons for the TRA ideology success (apart from working in secret, influencing policy behind the scenes without debate)

imprtant current thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3541908-Regulatory-capture

Up until this point I had a lot of sympathy for your point that civility, reason and compromise go a long way, but this is bonkers.

By that comment I didn’t mean to suggest that GCFs had acted worse than trans activists - just that the phrase AHF became politically charged because it was adopted by people who use it in an inflammatory context.

People often argue that words like ‘spastic’ or ‘coloured’ used to be perfectly acceptable and the correct way to refer to people, but once these phrases are used in a derogatory context towards a group then it becomes diffficult for anyone on the receiving end to distinguish whether the user meant malice or not, therefore the word/phrase generally ends up being associated with malice.

It’s not a perfect analogy because this is a definition people use about themselves rather than something to call another group, but I’m just referring to the general point that while yes it should not be controversal and wasn’t before, the context has changed.

I’m tapping out for now as my fibro has flared up, apologies if I’ve missed a reply

You lot have done your job well today - just ordered one.

I think the 'breast is best' analogy is a good one.

One of the reasons for the TRA ideology success (apart from working in secret, influencing policy behind the scenes without debate) is that they've made people scared to raise concerns. And because people aren't talking about it, people feel isolated and alone.

YY.