Miss/Ms/Mrs

Miss female child
Master male child

When I look at Mrs I see Mr's, as in woman belonging to, woman owned by.

I do not consider women to be property so use Ms.

Man hating hairies I expect

Equalism is a thing.

How do the non feminists on this thread define feminism?

My take is that definition is correct, but that what it means in practice to different people will inevitably vary. For some it may be enough to achieve equal rights in law. Well, that's certainly necessary, as the bare minimum. But that still leaves a society in which women aren't actually equal in how we're treated. So, some feminists will then go on to look at causes of, and solutions to, structural sexism, that women don't merely have equal rights in theory but are treated equitably.

As Rebecca West said “I’m not sure what a feminist is- I only know it!’s what people call me when I express any view that distinguishes me from a door mat”

That's not what they said!!

Definition. It’s really simple.

@MoreSlidingDoors Re the feminist definition, I asked what it meant on the board the other day as I'm still not convinced there is a "one size fits all" answer. Some argued that as women we should in fact strive further than being equal to men?

@MoreSlidingDoors

What should one call it these days? Birth name? Same thing though-I'm keeping it plus DB.

I think I can deal with the administrative burden of adding another surname - nothing compared to my divorce!!!!

also I got a more interesting surname

Something which only ever seems to be the case for women. Their poor brothers and their boring names.

Ms feels a bit feminist

a feminist to me probably is an extreme sort of character

Why is this word being interpreted in this way. It literally means someone who believes women are equal to men. Which surely the vast majority (if not all) should be! Doesn’t mean you’re actively marching or burning your bra.

For me, my maiden name recognises my history and heritage of which I am proud. I don't see why I should have to "lose" that when I marry.

You’ve missed my point. It’s not your maiden name. It’s just your name. Men don’t have bachelor names. So calling it your maiden name is inherently sexist and perpetuates the myth that it is only your name until you marry.

Fiance will just stay the same.

Why? Do the reasons that you’re going through the administrative burden of changing your identity not apply to him?

"@Gwenhwyfar I cohabited before getting married - for 9 years with my ex (never got married), and for 6 years with my husband, before we were married.

I still never felt any need for any external signs of it being 'any different', and I don't have any"

I wasn't talking about you Kenahora!
I was talking about women who change their names on marriage, something that is shockingly still the norm.

I dislike Ms, Miss and Mrs. When I got my first nursery job we were known as just Groovee. But in my current role I am Mrs Groovee in the nursery. But I regularly get Miss off the children with Groovee. As long as the Groovee is there I'm not fussed.

However the head has put me on the staff list as Ms! Only the nursery staff have their prefixes on the website as well. I'd much rather we didn't and we're like the rest of the staff. It is my own fault for getting a job where I am known by my last name.

"Why can't we just be like men and have one title regardless of marital status etc?!! Problem solved!"

We can. Ms. That's why I use it.

Lol, a feminist to me probably is an extreme sort of character. Which I'm not. I really couldn't give a hoot what you call me - once it's not too early in the morning.

I just mix them up, and use Mrs/Ms/Miss as I see fit depending on situation.

You don't have to stick to one prefix, for ever - since there are several, why not play with them?

I used Mrs for decades (because of social expectation, but also I got a more interesting surname), but am now shifting between Mrs, Ms and Miss, according to circumstance.

Ms feels a bit feminist. And my rightful Dr title feels a bit 'look how clever I am'.

Hm... I use Dr professionally (it's the norm not the exception in my field) but mostly Mrs otherwise... I think I quite fancy starting to use Ms, if it's likely to be understood as 'a bit feminist'.

Well I for one am genuinely proud I'm a divorcee! That I found the courage to escape an abusive marriage. I hate it when people say "Oh I'm sorry to hear you're divorced" when changing back bank cards etc. My reply is "Well I'm not, he was a complete and utter pig!"

I use Mrs/Dr depending on situation.

I decided about two years before DH and I got engaged that I wasn't changing his name, so as passports, driving licences etc needed renewed or GP surgeries changed I swapped to Ms- so I had zero admin when we got married, hurrah! A secretary I worked with genuinely thought you only used Ms if you were divorced, and hated anyone using anything but Miss when referring to her- I found the idea that she would turn her nose up at it for that reason a bit distasteful, like being divorced was shameful or something.

I work in a professional role and get a lot of letters from legal firm and they all call me Ms (without knowing my marital status or preference) so I disagree it's dying. I also use it as a default unless I know for certain the person I'm referring to is married and uses their married name.

@DrGradusAdParnassum

Do you mind me asking if you have you still kept your ex-husband's surname (if you changed it upon marriage)?

For me, I could think of nothing worse than being associated with my ex!

My boys have their dad's surname as we were married when they were born and I was Mrs ex's surname. It's not within my power to change it although my youngest has expressed an interest in double-barrelling when he is allowed to legally.