Miss/Ms/Mrs

@Kennehora In this instance yes, my wishes go with convention. Just happens to be that way. I'm not going to change my mind because others may think X about me-that's up to them. I'm not led by what others think. A lot of people, for example, thought I was barking when I didn't buy a cot for either of my babies. Waste of money IMO. "You'll change your mind" they said. Nope!

This is one of my pet peeves - having to make a distinction when men don't have to. I sometimes choose some random title like 'lady' if I'm forced to choose on a drop down menu (so long as it's not something official) While I'm happily married, I just object to the distinction versus men's catch-all 'Mr.' However, to answer the OP I would choose Ms.

@Kennehora I haven't opted to DB because it's "expected" of me though - I have chosen to DB because of what it personally means to me. Same as to why I am divorced but still a Miss and will remain a Miss when I am married. I don't tend to follow convention but do things because I want to do them that way, not because other people do "x" or believe that "y" means this. I'm disliked for it sometimes but that's OK too.

I kept my surname when I married but use Miss, I dislike titles and think we should have the option not to use one, most forms give you the option of prefer not to say when it comes to gender and religion but not for titles.

I kept my name but always went by Ms anyway once I was an adult

“The truth is, I really couldn't care less what he chooses to call himself! Makes no difference to me!”
So, with the greatest of respect, what are you doing in this thread if you’re not interested in delving a bit into why we do wht we do?

But I loathe, really loathe, when we receive xmas cards to "Mrs and Mr Hubbyname". They are sent by nice, kind people (often the elderly ones!) so I do not feel like telling them off but I can't stand it.

I send them back. (15 years and counting)

Family keep calling me Mrs HisSurname, one particular person at work keeps calling me Mrs HisSurname. I find it unbearably rude and need to find a backbone and tell them to stop

Don’t respond. Call them by a name that isn’t yours. They’ll soon get bored.

"Legally you are Mrs HisSurname, despite what you want to pretend"

Tell them that you’ll believe that when they produce whichever piece of legislation they believe confers it/that you hope they have better grasp of things that actually are laws, else they end up the wrong side of them.

I've always been Ms Birth surname. Married 7 years. Been in partnership with husband for over 30 years.

But I don't really see the need for anyone to have a title. Unless it's in relation to a qualification.

My father was a complete and utter bastard so as soon as I was old enough I ditched his surname took my mother's surname.

I am getting married this year and will be double barreling my mum's surname with my fiance's surname. He is also double barreling so we will both be the same. This means we both have a link to each other's children too.

I was umming and awwing about whether to use Ms or Mrs but after reading this thread I think I will go with Ms. My husband to be doesn't own me. And I don't think its fair that women can be identified as married through Mrs, yet men can't.

Actually I kind of feel like that about engagement rings although I absolutely love mine why is it that women is identified as "taken" yet the man is not? Maybe men should also wear engagement rings? hmm

SpartacusAutisticusAHF - an amazing article that puts into words what I could never articulate. Thank you for posting.

The truth is, I really couldn't care less what he chooses to call himself! Makes no difference to me!

“Clearly he is anti-feminism?! Why else would he keep his own surname upon marriage and not change it to mine or DB it?!!”

It’s absolutely fine to say that you don’t know, and have never actually thought about it, you know!

I think the simple truth is that many people do follow cultural norms. If we'd been born in a different place or time our choices would have been different (or non existent).

That's what I did, >30 years ago. If I'd liked my birth name more I might have retained it for professional use.

Despite my MN name, I am Ms Birthsurname. Have been whilst single, married and widowed.

Clearly he is anti-feminism?! Why else would he keep his own surname upon marriage and not change it to mine or DB it?!!

“He has his own viewpoint as a free-thinker?”

Yep. What do you think led him to having that view?

I think the conventional pattern is still to lose the woman's birth name upon marriage or whatever is it I'm supposed to call it now, but I stand corrected if I'm wrong?

I have my reasons why as I've explained, his are his.

I got married a few days ago. I have remained Ms Pacino. I didn't realise quite how much people really really object to the idea until they understood that I was serious and no, I wasn't changing my name.

Family keep calling me Mrs HisSurname, one particular person at work keeps calling me Mrs HisSurname. I find it unbearably rude and need to find a backbone and tell them to stop but they are convinced they are in the right and I am somehow being silly and juvenile. "Legally you are Mrs HisSurname, despite what you want to pretend" - is a gem I have heard a fair few times in the last 10 days. People are really invested in maintaining this.

I am Dr. and use that in professional setting; if Dr. option not listed, then Ms Mybirthname.

I did use "Mrs Hubbyname" just as a convention for primary/secondary kids' school as easier for teachers/kids, but everything else, passport, GP, my publications as author, tax papers, etc. in my own name.

My birth name, however, is my father's name. I could take my mum's surname, which I like a lot, but that's my grandfather's surname.

Ach, there is no escaping the patriarchy.

But I loathe, really loathe, when we receive xmas cards to "Mrs and Mr Hubbyname". They are sent by nice, kind people (often the elderly ones!) so I do not feel like telling them off but I can't stand it.

He has his own viewpoint as a free-thinker?