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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I was mildly GC in front of my mates today. Holy moley, this has gone further than I realised.

118 replies

LeesPostersAreInFrames · 24/03/2019 18:42

I have a hobby group of friends, we met up today. The hobby attracts left wing types, of which I am one.

The subject of LGBT+ came up, and after a bit the subject of gendered toilets and changing rooms came up. I expressed that I felt women's spaces should be strictly for women only.

One friend said that the toilets in almost all of the schools, colleges and universities in the area had been changed to non-gender specific.

Another said that their training in several fashion retail spaces had been to allow a person to use the gendered changing room of their choice. There was a "larger" changing area (not allowed to say disabled), which they could offer to trans people, but they could go in the gendered room they felt most comfortable in. I asked what happened if anybody ever complained; they were trained to say they were sorry but policy was to allow people to use the space they felt most comfortable in. These spaces had curtains but they'd had problems previously with mobile phone cameras being used.

The girls in the schools had expressed discomfort at boys being able to hear the rustle of sanitary wear wraps as they used them.

My friends seemed surprised at my views, and I didn't go any further. I'm not really sure how to have these conversations, but it seems utterly essential and urgent.

It's in the UK, and it's much more widespread than I had thought.

Help. How do I get people questioning this stuff?

OP posts:
SleepingSloth · 24/03/2019 23:50

It's BS that women are as unsafe here as in places like parts India, Pakistan and Africa.

SpartacusAutisticusAHF · 24/03/2019 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SleepingSloth · 24/03/2019 23:48

So it’s much safer to be around men in Uk
?

Is that a serious question?

Well, I know where I would rather be a woman. My cousins wife is Indian and agrees.

littlbrowndog · 24/03/2019 23:48

What’s bullshit.

A. United Nations report ?

littlbrowndog · 24/03/2019 23:47

In toilets as men in Uk of course behave so much better.

You are missing my point

United Nations recognise that single sex toilets remove the barriers for women and girls to education and work

Why is it then that Uk and other countries such as Canada are now removing single sex toilets

This study and report was released on 10th March this year

SleepingSloth · 24/03/2019 23:45

And it’s uk

I gave England as an example. I'd also just read someone talk about policing 'in this country'.

endchauvinism · 24/03/2019 23:44

I've been reading this board sporadically for about a year but mostly ignored the posts regarding transgender issues because it seemed such a small percentage of people are trans.
I was mainly interested in sexism against women and trans issues seemed almost irrelevant. It took a while to understand how women as a whole are affected by this.

Keep talking to your friends a bit at a time, and instead of focusing on the restrooms, maybe they'll care more if you bring up transwomen in women's jails, competing in women's sports (like boxing), living in women's shelters. That's where the restroom thing is leading us.

SleepingSloth · 24/03/2019 23:43

It’s irony sloth irony

It's BS is what it is.

littlbrowndog · 24/03/2019 23:39

So it’s much safer to be around men in Uk ?

littlbrowndog · 24/03/2019 23:37

And it’s uk

littlbrowndog · 24/03/2019 23:36

It’s irony sloth irony

SleepingSloth · 24/03/2019 23:24

Yet here the men here are oh so much safer and hey we don’t need that sort o& stuff cos our men and the men who think they are women are so much better than men in other countries

Do you really believe that women in England are as unsafe as women in somewhere like parts of India?

viques · 24/03/2019 23:06

I was at an exhibition at the Hayward gallery the other day and their toilets are so bloody multi gender friendly that they are only identified by the sort of squiggle Prince (RIP) decided he was called back in the day. It really was like one of those "behind one of these doors is a million pounds, behind the other is a ravenous tiger" quizzes. I decided not to play and went elsewhere....... Luckily I wasn't desperate or they would have had an original viques art work to mop up .

DangermousesSidekick · 24/03/2019 22:59

That occurred to me as well Repeal! Saying that women live in fear of their lives where men are not policed is another way of proving that we need single sex spaces, surely?

RepealTheGRA · 24/03/2019 22:57

where policing is unresourced and corrupt.

Have you seen what’s going on with policing in this country Confused

DangermousesSidekick · 24/03/2019 22:56

More seriously, you need to exist in a world where many people think you are wrong. Yes, make your views known, but evangelising only ever puts people's backs up. And people can be just as well informed as you but form different opinions based on that information.

This is the whole point about the modern world really isn't it. It isn't enough nowadays to work together, live together, and do the best work you can. You have to have "the correct opinions" on everything, "the correct thoughts" to be acceptable. This kind of totalitarianism is exactly what we are complaining about. What concerns me is that the extreme stance one way is creating extreme kickbacks - when people reject thought policing they think all manner of anti-women and misogynistic thinking, along with racism and "traditional community" religious justifications are perfectly acceptable instead. The centre ground is vanishing.

Ferrovairio · 24/03/2019 22:55

Rates of violence against women in other countries can be much higher than here in the UK.

We enjoy a relatively much safer environment here.

Not that I agree with mixed sex toilets.

But I understand that it is a more immediate issue in other countries.

I don’t disagree with what lil brown says, but just ask you to remember that women and girls live in constant fear of their safety in countries where policing is unresourced and corrupt.

Harebel · 24/03/2019 22:32

Well surely if this "left-wing" hobby attracts "nice & decent types" then it won't be very long before they're listening to what you have to say and conceding that something needs to be done. Or else they'll continue to want to be seen (in public anyway) as "inclusive" to all Hmm& toe the line by going with whatever everyone else is saying...

BickerinBrattle · 24/03/2019 22:20

Insisting that girls and women must be inclusive of males in private space, even if they are uncomfortable, and that the girls and women have no right to object, is rape culture.

aidelmaidel · 24/03/2019 22:12

LOOS not lips bloody autocorrect

littlbrowndog · 24/03/2019 22:11

I was making that point

Other countries men unsafe in toilets.

Woke countries no problem

So why are the United Nations seeing that single sex toilets would encourage girls and women to get into,education and work safely

Yet here the men here are oh so much safer and hey we don’t need that sort o& stuff cos our men and the men who think they are women are so much better than men in other countries

We need single sex toilets. The United Nations recognise this

Yet this country doesn’t

Why ?

aidelmaidel · 24/03/2019 22:11

The trans women I know bang on endlessly about how it's so very important to be allowed in the women's loos because men's lips are nasty violent places (paraphrasing). If that's so, I don't see how mixed loos is going to help anyone.

And I'm not especially into toilet policing, particularly since I know quite a few women who are Not Very Feminine At All and would likely get toilet-policed out of the ladies', but I'm fed up with trans women taking up all the space and would like it to be ok to tell people to sod off.

nettie434 · 24/03/2019 22:11

Seriously. The gender neutral toilets being more common now in schools has floored me. I thought we were some way off that.

Just thinking about this from LeesPostersAreInFrames and I wondered if there was a Mermaid/Stonewall policy to target schools and colleges. As an adult, I avoid changing rooms and loos I don't like. Nothing to do with what sex is using them, I mean nasty and grubby or lacking privacy. If I'm out I might even wait until I got home. I don't think I would get through a school day not needing to use the loo. Do they hope any resistence will be worn down eventually? I do think the 'nasty terf' debate tries to pretend it is only older women who are concerned. Not normally a conspiracy theorist!

RepealTheGRA · 24/03/2019 22:07

Here you go:

form.education.gov.uk/en/AchieveForms/?form_uri=sandbox-publish:AF-Process-f1453496-7d8a-463f-9f33-1da2ac47ed76/AF-Stage-1e64d4cc-25fb-499a-a8d7-74e98203ac00/definition.json&redirectlink=%2Fen&cancelRedirectLink=%2Fen

Make a disclosure in the public interest. You can do it anonymously, use a throway email address if necessary.

RepealTheGRA · 24/03/2019 21:58

Chiochan

You can’t lose your job for whistle blowing.

Actually I think you can whistleblow anonymously online to DfE.