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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Then you can call me Cis, sis

63 replies

PosterPostingPosterishly · 17/03/2019 16:13

I thought I'd share this poem that I wrote, with you. It seemed to resonate with others in a different thread. I hope it makes sense!

When you have grown the ovum to produce life, to grow a child to be borne of your body,
Then you can call me Cis, sis.

When you have felt the ache of Mother Nature, the loss from your body every month, the pain, the mess, the shame.
Then you can call me Cis, sis.

When you have fought for your right to say yay or nay.
When you have thrust your body beneath the Kings thoroughbred to make it known, you want your word,
Then you can call me Cis, sis.

When you have endured the searing pain of a tribal tradition, felt the knife to your most sensitive thing.
Then you can call me Cis, sis.

*When a man thrusts his weight upon you and tells you it’s because he loves you.
When your whole body screams in pain because you’re trying not to allow him in. When you fear that off spring could be born of this,
Then you can call me Cis, sis.

When you are paid less than another, even though you are as good or better.
When you are not quite all the way up the ladder, because you were born without the appendage.
Then you can call me Cis, sis.

When a stroll down the street, becomes a zoological cacophony.
When the catcalls and whistles and stares make you look for the nearest hole in which to crawl.
Then you can call me Cis, sis.

When you have to cover it all, at the instruction of a man.
When your hair isn’t deemed worthy of public viewing and your face must be shielded from the light.
Then you can call me Cis, sis.

When you receive lashes across your slender back, because you dare to be a voice of freedom for those born without the privilege of man.
Then you can call me Cis, sis.

I am all of these things, I fight and rise up.
I did not choose this but I will prevail.
I am a woman.
Don’t call me Cis, sis.*

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NottonightJosepheen · 19/03/2019 05:59

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NottonightJosepheen · 19/03/2019 05:56

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NottonightJosepheen · 19/03/2019 05:50

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ElizabethMainwaring · 19/03/2019 05:00

Adding the suffix 'erall' to the word 'shit' is not wit Josepheen.
And I'm not sure that you understand the term gaslighting either.

elliedea · 19/03/2019 01:00

This is so embarrassing . Also those experiences aren't universal for women , it's very clumsy

EcclesThePeacock · 19/03/2019 00:31

* If works perfectly well for girls simply by changing the last line to

And which is more - you'll be a Woman, my girl ! (girl rather than daughter as I think it needs to keep a monosyllable in the last line)*

Yes, well, apart from not rhyming with 'run', and not scanning quite right...how about :
'And which is more - you'll be a true woman!' ?

NottonightJosepheen · 18/03/2019 23:55

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LassOfFyvie · 18/03/2019 23:51

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NottonightJosepheen · 18/03/2019 23:44

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LassOfFyvie · 18/03/2019 23:41

Well, if anyone wants a - hm, I don't suppose it was meant as a parody so let's say 'variation' of 'If' to tear apart unmercifully critique, there's this:

If works perfectly well for girls simply by changing the last line to

And which is more - you'll be a Woman, my girl ! (girl rather than daughter as I think it needs to keep a monosyllable in the last line)

NottonightJosepheen · 18/03/2019 23:41

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LassOfFyvie · 18/03/2019 23:32

I find it so demoralising that the OP's poem should be picked apart as though she submitted a school assignment to be graded
OP wanted to share her thoughts and ideas in poem form and I think it's excessively officious to critique its artistic merit

I don't see why the fact the OP put her thoughts and ideas in the form of a poem means her thoughts and ideas are then immune from challenge in the same way as any other posts.

What I find demoralising is your assumption that a woman wrote it so unqualified and praise is expected regardless of merit.

The OP said don't mind constructive criticism or healthy debate. I don't think the poem is particularly well written or that it reads well.

EcclesThePeacock · 18/03/2019 22:03

It reminded me a bit of 'If' too,

Well, if anyone wants a - hm, I don't suppose it was meant as a parody so let's say 'variation' of 'If' to tear apart unmercifully critique, there's this:

www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/52705/an-if-for-girls

PosterPostingPosterishly · 18/03/2019 21:59

🤣

It's a good job I'm pretty thick skinned.
No I'm not Alan Partridge, no I wasn't influenced by another poem.
Sorry it's clunky.

And yes, you're still a woman even if you haven't given birth.

Don't take it so personally! I'm not.

Night all.

Thanks Josepheen. 😘

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NottonightJosepheen · 18/03/2019 21:53

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Amoregentlemanlikemanner · 18/03/2019 21:49

"He's on television at the moment. "

he should be reading the news tonight...

dreichuplands · 18/03/2019 21:42

I would like to stress that women without the ability to have dc are no less women.

I'm all in favor of people trying to write out their sentiments though.

LassOfFyvie · 18/03/2019 21:39

I agree with Amoregentlemanlikemanner about the oppression Olympics tone too.

or write a ditty of your own

Are you Alan Partridge? He's on television at the moment. "Ditty" is very Patridge esque.

Amoregentlemanlikemanner · 18/03/2019 21:33

told you you were brave..... :)

LassOfFyvie · 18/03/2019 21:30

I don't mind constructive criticism or healthy debate ....

Do you? The first lines are clunky. The repetition of "to" makes it drag.

"Mother Nature" in the next part is twee.

"Sensitive thing" is so bad it's unintentionally funny.

"make you look for the nearest hole in which to crawl" -another clunky line which prevents the flow.

Were you consciously or perhaps unconsciously influenced by If ? It reminds me of an If variation/ parody? (None of which ever come close to If)

PosterPostingPosterishly · 18/03/2019 20:42

It's the first poem I've written since the late 90's at school. I don't feel too precious about it because it was more about the sentiment than whether or not someone could make it into a pop song 🤣🤣.

I won't quit the day job. But pleased that it has made an impression on some of you, or even explore your own feelings about the subject further- even if they are not the same. 🙂

OP posts:
Amoregentlemanlikemanner · 18/03/2019 20:19

:)

you're bloody brave to put your own on mumsnet full stop!

PosterPostingPosterishly · 18/03/2019 19:07

Amore

Grin I appreciate the way you say it.
OP posts:
Amoregentlemanlikemanner · 18/03/2019 18:48

It's a tough crowd on here OP.

I think it's a good poem in the sense of you being good at writing poetry but I don't agree with its sentiment if that makes sense.

PosterPostingPosterishly · 18/03/2019 16:45

I'm not sure I was after your placating praise.

But maybe find something constructive to say, ask a question or write a ditty of your own.

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