How to feel more powerful as a woman?

Is there a way to feel better about myself?

This is a really small thing, and might not make any difference to you, but I did find that it helped me to feel more powerful and, therefore, more able to challenge things.

Own Your Space.

It's a really simple thing but we quite often 'make way' for men - physically, mentally and emotionally.

Owning your space means not automatically making yourself smaller; or moving; or suppressing yourself for a man. If a man tries to guide you out of his way with a hand to your shoulder/waist - don't move. If a man walks straight towards you on the pavement, don't automatically be the one to step out of the way - force it to a 50/50 side step.

Don't allow your needs to be compromised. E.g. if you want a shower/to go to the shop or whatever, don't allow it to become negotiable based on 'his' needs. I realised that my exh would just declare or announce what he was going to do (and he still does) whereas I always 'checked' it was ok first. I didn't ask permission, but I checked it wasn't going to inconvenience him and then rearranged it if it was. I wouldn't do that anymore.

It's all those little things that are reaffirming that you matter.

And then you'll have time to focus on the bigger stuff.

I know that's a bit long and waffly - hope it makes sense!

I think a shift in perspective will help with some of this.

So work, instead of focusing on being part time, or having lost you previous position, focus on the value of your current role, take pride in it and do it to the best of your ability. Value your own position, and take pride in it. Could you be doing better career wise? Maybe, but you will do, but later, at a time that suits you. That’s under your control.

Overweight? Well fine, your body has just done something amazing, it grew actual human beings. It looks different as a result. If you want to fix it and lose weight, well fine, you can chose to do that. If you don’t want to do that right now, that’s also fine. Accept that you body has changed and learn to appreciate it for what it has done.

The husband bit is a little trickier, as it sounds like he is being a dick, and that is probably undermining your confidence in all the other areas. So start standing up for yourself, carve out some me time, and start asking him to step up at home too. His time and work are no more important than yours.

Realising that this whole situation is within your control is going to help. Things slide after we have children, without us noticing, but now you have noticed, you can make conscious choices to get things back to where you want.

Have you tried doing an online course? Open university has a range of free courses that you can pick up whenever you have time. Or a hobby?

I know you feel a bit pants at the moment, but think about it: you grew and gave birth to your children, you are juggling lots of demands, and you’re still here.

I feel a bit like that, and I definitely don't have a bad husband. I have not fulfilled my potential. I'm not ambitious in terms of ladder-climbing, and never was, but my part time job is well below my abilities and makes me feel lesser.

I don't think this is anything to do with work, you just have a bad husband.

Read some Vanessa Olorenshaw. She advocates for the rights of mothers to political and economic power.

Here's her blog: politicsofmothering.wordpress.com/

Here's her book: www.amazon.co.uk/Liberating-Motherhood-Birthing-Purplestockings-Movement/dp/1910559199?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Here's lovely Claire Shrugged writing about her: sisteroutrider.wordpress.com/tag/vanessa-olorenshaw/