Is this sexism? Or maybe fat middle age womanism?

Politeness costs nothing. My first job at the age of 16 was as a shop assistant in Marks and Spencer's. (1963) Rudeness to customers was not tolerated even if they were idiots at times. All that woman needed to do was to say "Speedy Boarding today?" to you with a smile.

Favs!

I’m in a casualish dress and brogues.

Good woman yourself; casual dress and brogues is one of my all time fabs.

I used to do fortnightly day-trips to Edinburgh, I'd be dressed for meetings in a suit and would carry a lap-top bag.

Went on our family summer holiday from the same airport, but dressed in jeans and the clear zip-up makeup bag, with the same minimal content, that I had been using unchallenged for months, was suddenly unacceptable to security staff.

I agree Riddley It's wearying.

An American attorney friend of mine was addressed on the assumption that the elderly man ten paces behind her at the door of the aircraft was her husband.

Because of course women out in the world always must have a husband nearby. She gave them what for.

On another occasion she was at a hotel desk checking in when a man walked to the desk, the receptionist stopped mid transaction and checked in the man before returning to this female corporate lawyer to finish. They groveled a lot afterwards but she said that was no good, why are people behaving like this in the first place and what are they going to do about it.

Maybe men are more willing to pay extra for speedy boarding so that might have influenced her but she should keep her assumptions to herself. Really suspect it’s simple sexism rather than sexism & ageism & sizeism. Still got worse customer service when I was younger and smarter and loads thinner . You are even entitled to an AIBU moment in my opinion!

Also BUSINESS men often carry laptop cases in addition to wheely cases. And I have seen them attempting to get those into a tiny suitcase with an Easyjet ground staff member standing over them with a card machine.

Even if that were true Fishwife asking women if they had speedy boarding would be better than telling women to put their handbags away.

It might just be that it's the hundredth time that day they had to ask for the handbag to be put into the bag because they don't have speedy boarding. It happens on every flight because the women are unaware of the handbag rule despite being obvious on booking the ticket It's probably less common for men to have two bags unless they have speedy boarding.

It might just be a simple numbers thing. I wouldn't bother getting my knickers in a twist over it.

I travel a lot for work, and I see this kind of thing all the time. Annoys me hugely, and I complain to BA (my carrier of choice, and I'm on a feedback panel for them) a lot about it.

I witnessed at one airport a casually dressed woman with pushchair rushing up to the gate a bit late for a long haul flight. The stewards started complaining to her, she produced her first class ticket. The change in attitude and 'can I help/take that' and apologies was glorious to watch!

Thanks, Mumma. Early morning, I missed that...

Had the men paid for Speedy Boarding and you hadn't?

Read the second sentence of the OP

Afew years ago my wife, then in her fifties, was managed out of her position (along with another woman slightly younger than her) by her manager and some of the much younger members of her team, including two people who my wife had trained.
The people in question were always pally with the boss and the young male workers.
There is an awful lot of ageism out there.

What would Alexis do?

Seemingly Women should wear 80’s style power suits to be taken seriously, while men in jeans are worthy of respect.

Even in the suit, flying as a young woman I was definitely treated differently to my male (also besuited) colleagues. Our national airline specialised in fawning over men in suits.

And yes, EasyJet's rubbish about putting even very small handbags into suitcases while allowing VAST shopping bags on infuriates me.

Unless you're using a tiny airport, ground staff rarely recognise even very frequent travellers.

Middle aged women not wearing power suits or dressed 'to lunch' can't possibly be business or frequent travellers. I learned that myself when I was that impossibility. I'm waiting to board a flight right now for work surrounded by men in suits.

The barking at women about the handbags is standard SleazyJet policy. I am pretty sure it is in their training manual.

Sounds like stupid bitchism to me.

Maybe they're just regular travellers so she's seen them on a few occasions. Not everyone is sexist 🙄

Yes, I think she judged you.

Seemingly Women should wear 80’s style power suits to be taken seriously, while men in jeans are worthy of respect.

Had the men paid for Speedy Boarding and you hadn't?

It's an intersection of isms (the real kind, not the new kind)...

I get it too - especially since I'm also generally travelling with 2 children in tow (who fly enough that they know the routine/are better behaved than a good 50% of the rest of the adults in the queue).

I've learned since having kids to be firm, unapologetic, and make sure I get what I'm due. No hanging back for me any more - and I've trained the eldest to clear the way with a loud, clear voice (the places we travel tend not to be great at queuing, so getting your priority boarding can involve elbows!).