How to get school to back off.

Worth adding that the TES might be fanning many flames in education.

when kids came to us with issues beyond our scope and capabilities that we should not be advising etc, but refering them on to people who know what they are talking about (through parents).

And not to cod science lobby groups like Mermaids.

I would echo what others have said about school's place too. I have been helping to write a safeguarding policy recently, for an after school club, and we put in a phrase about recognising when kids came to us with issues beyond our scope and capabilities that we should not be advising etc, but refering them on to people who know what they are talking about (through parents).

hedgeharris gender is a perception though so I’m not sure what a GP can do about that.

the default response to 'I want to be a different gender' in anyone who is a minor should be a GP appointment and a referral for counselling. I really cannot understand anything else.

It is coming from guidance from lobby groups like Mermaids who have no medical or safeguarding experience and are often at odds with those who do.

Lots of councils are signing off on ‘trans inclusion guidance’ packs for schools based on material by groups like Allsorts. These packs advise schools to do what the OP’s school is doing, and push training for teachers along the same lines. And teaching for the kids too.

This needs to be tackled at the source of the issue or pretty much all schools will be taking this approach soon.

When we were kids there wasn’t such thing. Why is is nowadays - when we are supposed to be oh so progressive - when little Johnny asks for a my little pony parents don’t say ‘ok son, here you go, sparkle unicorn pony like you wanted’. Why is it OH MY GOD! YOU'RE A GIRL!!! QUACK! CALL DR WOBBKLY FOR A PRESCRIPTION TO FIX THIS’

the default response to 'I want to be a different gender' in anyone who is a minor should be a GP appointment and a referral for counselling. I really cannot understand anything else.

Just wanted to add this resource for your daughter to look at when she is ready/when you think it’s appropriate.

It’s 4 young women who used to identify as trans but now realise they were mistaken and have reconciled with their female bodies.

They have some really insightful commentary about how they came to believe they were boys in girls bodies, and how the trans narrative is letting our children, teenagers and young people down, especially those who are lesbian, gay, or bisexual (or who will eventually grow up to be so).

They are clever, funny and inspiring. There are videos of them on YouTube and they use all the usual social media sites, their website lists where else you can find them.

Pique Resilience Project: www.piqueresproject.com

OP, as I wrote upthread my dd aged 14 has been through this, and the end result was that she is gay.

The trans trend is very submissive of and against buthc lesbian and very effeminate gay men. It is important to let your dd know that both those grops have been around for ever, and are not in any way trans. That they are part of the normal range of human females.
I think one of the things that helped dd was realising the very cool drummer in the brass band she plays in was gay. She has quite a masculine style (combat trousers and DM boots) and I think the penny dropped for dd that many women out there actually have short hair and don't like girly clothes! It seems like a small thing, but these small messages add up.

So pleased that you and her DF and SM are all on the same page.

Just another voice of support OP, you're handling this about as well as any parent possibly could confronted with this madness. Glad DD's dad is on board with dealing with the school and hope you can put the fear of god into them so they don't try this shit with other kids. It would appear parents are going to have to kick back really hard against this, schools seem to have swallowed the Mermaids trope whole and without question.

Ofsted’s submission to ‘enforcing the equality act’

data.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/committeeevidence.svc/evidencedocument/women-and-equalities-committee/enforcing-the-equality-act-the-law-and-the-role-of-the-equality-and-human-rights-commission/written/91110.html

They’re certainly aware of problems of girls rights v trans rights and undue pressure being put on schools by lobby groups.

I do think anybody experiencing problems should contact them.

[email protected] is the email, they do answer and if they are concerned about safeguarding concerns you raise they will pass to the local county council to deal with. They will then advise you to go through the schools formal complaint system. But if this is a widespread issue (which I think it probably is) people do need to keep letting them know.

Bloody hell OP, what a day you've had! Thank Christ your DD has sensible parents. Mermaids has a lot to answer for. I hope your case with the school makes them reconsider their position, for fear of law suits, but I expect they will stick to their story and become entrenched.

Good luck with everything that follows, may the force of the radfems be with you! Long live Mumsnet!

I think dd is kind of grossed out as she's just posted on her Snapchat story that she's embarrassed as I've had another "cringe af" convo with her 😂 sorry kid!

I love you, OP!

Good luck OP.
Your daughter is lucky to have you as her Mum.

Nothing to add to the excellent advice so far, or the excellent line you and your ex are taking (and hooray for a sane, un-woke social worker), but cheering you on from the sidelines.

‘Training’ or ‘re-education’?

This has made me incensed! What fucking right do they have? Because they’ve had an hours training they think they can irreparably mutilate a child’s body! Bastards!
Sorry op, glad your and her dad are on the same page, and glad he’s mentioned seeing a solicitor!

Why are teachers discussing periods and sexuality with children (and not in an education way)?

So glad that you're all on the same page OP. This is a very important thread as it is evidence of how easily some adults in schools have been persuaded to behave in appalling (and illegal) ways in relation to trans issues and children.

People have been writing to MPs / the Secretary of State for Education warning that schools are being told by lobby groups to ignore parental rights / responsibilities but so far they have ignored all these warnings.

Wishing you all the best of luck - especially your daughter as she navigates her way through this difficult time of puberty.

What the bloody hell!? That’s absolutely outrageous. I would be incensed. Good on you and her dad OP for standing your ground. Good luck!

Can I just say what a fantastic job you’re doing here, I am so impressed. Your convos with her are great and now her dad and stepmum are involved an onside I don’t think the school stand a chance against you all. Their stance has been utterly atrocious.

I wonder if its worth putting this on the Family Rights Group parenting forum. They ha e a section titled general discussion, it could go in as a topic. What's happening to you is that you Parental Responsibility is being overridden by the school, but without any form of court order. They may advise on the PR aspect, or may just ignore you.
Definitely get everything in writing.