Period talk event...men invited and I feel weird about that

Are you sure that the men it's aimed at are not those still menstruating?

If not, prepare for the (hopefully unlikely) situation where there is a man who wants to dominate the discussion and speak up. If ever there was a topic where you can tell them to pipe down, this is it.

AssassinatedBeauty

"If you're discussing how to cope with heavy periods and pain whilst on shift, then men need to listen to the outcome of such a discussion, surely, rather than be involved in the discussion itself. So women could be discussing it whilst may men have a different session maybe an any questions type thing. Then everyone could get back together and the men could listen to the conclusions and the general points made by the women. Then those can be discussed. Or something like that. " so true.

OP I hope you go and let us know how it goes.

Men don't need to sit and listen directly to women in the room to find out about periods. They can do, but there are plenty of other ways to find out.

Men generally do dominate conversations - there is evidence on this. And, of course, many of us have experienced it first hand.

a little education can't go wrong, plus IMO if you take the "it's women's matters, no men allowed!" attitude all that's going to happen is ignorant men will remain igorant and matters like periods will remain taboo and stigmatised

best way to de-stigmatize something is to be open about it intsead of it being all "hush hush". eg think about how taboo sex itself was in the Victorian era

Ah ok,

Exactly what i said assassinated probably should have tempered it slightly

A lot of people stuggle with their bowels, he certainly wouldnt want to discuss why he disappeared for half an hour with female (or even male) members of staff

@Rufusthebewilderedreindeer what?

I'm 60 and I find this squeamishness/ oh periods are so embarassing ridiculous.
But that's just you. The fact is that SOME people find it difficult to talk about. I find some peoples' inability to consider others' feelings ridiculous so there you go...

assassinated

Dh certainly finds that a shit can impact his working day

I meant simply a comparative level of private and personal, not that it was necessarily relevant to the work place. Substitute any other bodily function that might affect your ability to perform in the workplace, if you prefer. Perhaps bowel movements for those who suffer from IBS, or the frequent need to urinate for those who have enlarged prostates, or whatever.

The comments up thread about asking men about how they deal with unwanted erections in the workplace is a useful comparison

No it isn't. Unwanted erections don't impact on employee's health and ability to perform in the workplace. I may have missed the point but isn't this in a work context? To consider the impact on employee's?

I don't think it's squeamishness or embarrassment so much as it is a normally private bodily function. Generally people don't talk in detail about bodily functions, especially not at work with colleagues or superiors. The comments up thread about asking men about how they deal with unwanted erections in the workplace is a useful comparison. I wouldn't have any issue with any man who didn't want to discuss that with me at work!

I'd have thought it would be younger women who'd tend to be shyer of discussing periods in mixed company than older ones.

It concerns me that eg Muslim women or older women would be put off attending by the thought of discussing this in front of men

How old are these older women? 80, 90? Born before WWI? Amazing that they are still in the workforce and having periods too!

I'm 60 and I find this squeamishness/ oh periods are so embarassing ridiculous. Some women seem to have a vested interest (although why escapes me) in maintaining it.

My guess is most men won't be interested in attending, but those that do will fall into two camps: 1, will want to listen and learn and generally not be a problem. 2, will want to dominate and tell women how they're doing it wrong and make it all about them.

as someone with a Senior Mgmt role in a male dominated industry I'm pretty sure I didn't get there with an attitude of needing events policed as my poor meek woman's view won't be heard otherwise.
Bear in mind though that not all women have (or want) Senior Management roles. Plenty won't have your confidence and that's fine. That sort of attitude is all well and good but there are plenty of women who don't feel comfortable making themselves heard and even less so on a personal topic with men that they work with. Some won't be comfortable talking about it with other women that they work with.

Sounds like the organisers have been considerate hopefully it will go to plan.

Oh that sounds positive, @MinesaBottle, glad they've actually thought about it in advanced. Maybe they should have been clearer in the stuff they sent out though!

Assassinated - you can exclude my experience if you want to but as someone with a Senior Mgmt role in a male dominated industry I'm pretty sure I didn't get there with an attitude of needing events policed as my poor meek woman's view won't be heard otherwise. If we want equality and inclusion then excluding men isn't the way to go. I'm pretty sure lots of women would complain if there were men only events.

Anyway, as I said below, an approach to ensure so single person can dominate (male or female) would be reasonable if that's the concern.

One of my previous male line managers was the first man to come to an IWD event when invitations were extended to men. It actually showed fantastic support for women in the work place and provided him the opportunity to understand a female view. Surely, that is helpful rather than harmful.

I really think if we want equality then it goes all ways! I also see this from another view, my husband is a stay at home dad and yet the mum's in my child's class insist on a 'mum's whatsapp' group that dad's aren't invited to share information and 'mum's nights out'. Also ridiculous.

Oh, I dunno. I'd be really tempted to turn up with a 'tash painted on, and then make a point of aggressively complaining about being excluded from the topic of the session which is clearly deeply trans phobic.

It is a literal violence to be talking about your female privilege as owners of actual real life fannies. Just shout that, at the top of your lungs, each time anyone else tries to speak.

Hopefully, next time, they will sort their posters out to exclude people who have no biological reason to be there.

I guess your personal experience discounts all the research.

If you read what I'd written, I'm not suggesting that men are excluded. I'm suggesting they are included appropriately. I'm suggesting that the organisers are aware of the potential issues and have planned for them.

Assassinated- I work in a mainly male environment and have discussions on all kinds and of stereotypical male/female topics and I just don't think it's true to say males dominate. I think it very much depends on the approach of women present. We can't say we want equality and then exclude men. How can we really expect them to understand the female perspective! Have generic rules of engagement that apply to everyone so no individual (make or female) can dominate by all means but excluding men because the poor little women won't be able to have their voice heard if men attend is not the way forward for pushing women in the workplace to the forefront!

Absolutely agree with the pp about how male colleagues would feel about a dealing with erections at work session attended by their female colleagues.

Imagine!

• There are 2 different, separate conversations to be had. One is to educate men about periods. The other is for women to talk about periods. They cant take place at the same time.

Not everything has to be inclusive of people who are outside of the target group.*

Yes. Maybe it should be structured as a two part session. The first (longer) part is inclusive of all females, and exclude all males. The second part is open to anyone who wishes to be there. The sessions should be in that order so that women have a chance to 'find their voice' - some will have hopefully become more confident to express their concerns, and perhaps one of the aims of the first part would be to draw up a list of issues men can actually help with, which the second part could then focus on.

Absolutely agree with the pp about how male colleagues would feel about a dealing with erections at work session attended by their female colleagues.