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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Ftm detransitioner - ask me anything

90 replies

Dyl101 · 03/03/2019 16:16

Hello. The recent clash of feminists v the radical trans lobby has been shocking and troubling. As someone who once identified as a trans man, spent years in therapy, changed my whole identity and appearance, I once would have been 100% behind self ID and the changes to the GDPR. However, I have since renounced much of my previous opinions and have gone so far the other way I am often described as a "terf" online. This is for simply holding rational views that being a woman is not a feeling but a biological reality for most and must be protected as a sex class.

Also as a detransitioner, I found some of the rhetoric I found myself believing very sexist and contrary to anything I had previously thought, that gender was a social construct. In addition, the stuff online (youtube/forums) makes transition seem like a wonderful, freeing way to truly be yourself, and I worry about what impact this narrative will have on impressionable young people.

Anyway, feel free to ask me anything.

OP posts:
rioroller · 03/03/2019 16:46

When I see trans men I always think what a waste of a lovely butch lesbian.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

GerryblewuptheER · 03/03/2019 16:41

Do you also mind if I ask, did you receive abuse and threats from those on the online forums when you decided to detransition ?

From what I've read they literally turn their backs and throw you out having been previously supportive and wondered if that were true?

AtrociousCircumstance · 03/03/2019 16:41

Do you have trans friends and how have they reacted to your decision?

Thanks for being open about this OP. It’s so important Flowers

Smartieshavetheanswer · 03/03/2019 16:40

OP you are a warrior ThanksBrew
Can you give your age bracket - not too revealing of course, but a rough guide? And on the back of your answer, would you say that the internet and social media has played a big part in influencing your choices to transition?

Hope you're doing well.

RepealTheGRA · 03/03/2019 16:40

How can I (or anybody) support young F2M’s without alienating them or coming across as ‘transphobic’? What can be done to support them that isn’t affirmation or medical or encouraging binding that I view as self harm.

I know several young f2m’s that I feel desperately sad for that I would like to help and/or encourage my children to help but it just don’t know what would be well received as I don’t want to engage in their delusion as I disagree with the ideology and ultimately I don’t think it will help them.

What would’ve helped you?

WeRiseUp · 03/03/2019 16:36

Flowers OP doing this.

What advice would you give to parents who feel they are 'losing' their children to transgenderism?

Dyl101 · 03/03/2019 16:36

DryHeave No because I never "passed" well enough (I have a very feminine face) but I know other trans men most definitely did.

OP posts:
Dyl101 · 03/03/2019 16:34

GerryblewuptheER Thank you for your comments. Only for a very short time thankfully so just had a slight lowering of my voice and acne. I stopped before I had any really damaging effect. But before this point I had been socially transitioning for over a year.

I stopped in part because I was obsessive about researching experiences and what the side effects of what these hormones would be. Often youtube shows girls becoming really handsome, muscular men and it all looks very inspiring. But being someone who is very practical I wanted to know all the repercussions and while I was prepared for male pattern baldness, losing my high singing voice, being infertile forever, some health risks etc in the future the final straw came for me when I discovered that generally speaking hysterectomy would be required after a few years, due to cancer risk. I knew from the little bit of health knowledge that I had that this would affect sexual feeling, many women report this after hysterectomy, and this was something I simply couldn't give up, especially at such a young age. I imagine it is never even thought about by young girls thinking about making these huge decisions.

OP posts:
CaptainKirksSpookyghost · 03/03/2019 16:33

I have no questions but Flowers
Thank you for joining us here.

TurboTeddy · 03/03/2019 16:32

Were you diagnosed with gender dysphoria and did transition alleviate your distress? Sorry if this is too personal but do you describe yourself as heterosexual, bi or lesbian now?
Thank you for offering to answer questions.

WorldBookDays · 03/03/2019 16:29

As a woman we're you a lesbian?

When I see trans men I always think what a waste of a lovely butch lesbian.

Knicknackpaddyflak · 03/03/2019 16:26

I'm sorry you've had to go through all that. How do you feel the therapy you have had has affected your decisions along the way and have you found it supportive?

Ribosomes · 03/03/2019 16:25

What made you want to transition in the first place and what changed so you wanted to transition back?

I realise these might be simple questions with multifaceted answers.

DryHeave · 03/03/2019 16:20

Do you think you experienced male privilege when you were presenting as a man?

GerryblewuptheER · 03/03/2019 16:18

Did you take hormones and what is the effect of them on your body?

Ps you are very brave to start this thread so thank you I hope you are ok Flowers

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