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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Drink spiking and an uncomfortable situation

34 replies

CoffeeAndEyeliner · 17/02/2019 23:04

Hi all,
I’m sorry if this isn’t the right place for this but I don’t know who else to talk to who might understand. Please go easy on me it’s not my proudest moment.

I’m really only looking for opinions I guess to settle my own mind. This happened a few years ago and still bothers me from time to time.

Basically, I got myself in to what could have been a nasty situation and I’m torn between feeling suspicious that the man I was with spiked my drink and feeling like he was helping me while drunk.

I was at a work conference. Dinner time came and I had two courses (starter and main) of stodgy vegetarian food. I had only water with my meal. Between main and dessert they had an alcohol tasting game- had to smell and taste the spirit and match it to a description. I was tasting it but literally just a taste (as in no swallowing required). I didn’t feel drunk after this.

After the meal a man from the same company but a different office sat by me and chatted to me. We talked for a while and drank red wine. He seemed nice (not in a sexual way. About as old as my dad and I am also happily married). In total I might have had a bottle (maybe not even that) in the space of about 4 hours.

At about 11 he said ‘you look like you should get to bed’. I was reading a great book at the time and thought if I went up then I could get some reading time in before I had to sleep.

He told me he’d walk me to my room. I said no and he kept insisting. I kept saying no. He said he couldn’t let me go alone in case something were to happen to me. So I said ok.
I guess I assessed the situation. The lady that was in the room across the hall from me had just gone up to bed, there were people all around in rooms. He was a colleague.
On the walk to my room he started talking about how nice my body was and was touching my legs. I asked him to stop and he did.

When we got to my room he asked if he could have coffee. I said no but he kept asking and saying that he was too drunk to make it back to his room without coffee to sober him up. I relented. I told him he could have one and then he had to go. At this point I felt a little merry but not drunk. I propped the door open and filled the kettle.

This is when it gets a little dodgy. I was filling the kettle and it was like I was hot by a tonne of bricks. I felt dizzy and sick and could barely stand. I told him he had to go now as I thought I’d be sick.
I was by far the illest i’d ever been. I was collapsed by the toilet vomiting profusely and shaking. I remember looking at him and he was sipping the coffee that he’d made himself and watching me puke.

He finally left and I laid down on the bathroom floor and passed out.

I have a vague memory of being put in to bed and being sick again badly.

I woke up the next morning to find that he’d let himself back in to my room. He was the one who’d put me in to bed. He’d slept in his underwear in the same bed as me.
I woke up when he got up to get dressed in the morning. He gave the impression that he didn’t expect me to be awake. He was talking a lot and rambled some weird story about getting in to trouble at a previous conference because he stayed in another young lady’s bedroom because she forgot that she said he could stay there.

I don’t know what to think.
I don’t expect anyone to know my personal tolerance for alcohol but I felt merry up until the point where I was floored. It came on so quickly. That, and the way he insisted on walking me to my room and coming in made me think it was a plan. But maybe he didn’t expect me to be so violently ill.

On the other hand, I know for sure I wasn’t assaulted (tights were still up around my tits) and I know that he’d flown to the conference. You wouldn’t risk bringing drugs on a flight would you? Also, you could spin the situation and see it as him helping a drunk young lady.
I remember pretty much everything as well which surely would defeat the purpose of spiking someone’s drink?

I think this really bothers me because of the poor decision making on my part, the ambiguity and the fact that but for the grace of god I could have been assaulted.

Any opinions or advice is welcome. I still struggle with it a couple of years later.

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
butteryellow · 18/02/2019 08:10

I bet if you think back, the reason you drank that full bottle was because he was very quick to top you up. I've had it happen to me - a predator who's constantly refilling your glass, so you completely lose track of how much you've drunk. When around one I remember, I actually used to put my hand over my glass, and carry it next to me rather than leave it on the table, because he was so sneaky at putting more in.

You weren't at fault OP, you didn't make bad decisions, he was hunting you.

Deliriumoftheendless · 18/02/2019 07:57

You’re not at fault.

This man is a predator.

I’m sorry that probably doesn’t help you much but you must stop blaming yourself.

Years ago I got very drunk and went home with a guy I knew through friends. I was in a weird place and was prepared to sleep with him even though I didn’t fancy him as I felt I ought to. Before anything happened he said “you’re not into this, I’m not comfortable with that. “ he then made sure I was safe and slept in the living room.

He’s been my best friend for about 15 years now. He has been a genuine help to me.

This man is not like that.

DancelikeEmmaGoldman · 17/02/2019 23:57

He wasn’t helping you. He might or might not have spiked your drink, but his behaviour was, at best inappropriate and disturbing.

Had he really been concerned he would not have over-ridden your objections to him accompanying you and perhaps asked one of the other women to assist you.

He was talking a lot and rambled some weird story about getting in to trouble at a previous conference because he stayed in another young lady’s bedroom because she forgot that she said he could stay there.

She didn’t forget and neither did he. He’s a pervert.

He gets away with it because we women are so socialised to be nice, that we have trouble over-riding that, even when our own safety is at stake.

You did nothing wrong. You didn’t cause this through drinking too much/allowing him in/not saying no enough/any of the other reasons women are blamed for assault.

You were targeted by a predator for his own, perverse, satisfaction. I’ll bet if you raise his name with the women he works with, sooner or later they’ll call him creepy.

And of course it’s possible to carry drugs on a plane - nobody is going to search for a couple of rohypnol or whatever in a bottle of ibuprofen or a luggage pocket.

There may not be much you can do about it at this distance, except stop blaming yourself for being the victim of an experienced sexual predator.

ALittleBitofVitriol · 17/02/2019 23:32

I'm really sorry for your experience OP.
It sounds like you have more than enough reason to be suspicious, both of being drugged and taken advantage of, unfortunately.
He most certainly wasn't just being a nice guy - a nice guy respects your first no.

MyDearSweetSummerChild · 17/02/2019 23:23

Meant that to say “feeling like you’ve made bad decisions”

For what it’s worth, I don’t think you at sto blame at all!!!

MyDearSweetSummerChild · 17/02/2019 23:20

Just to say that I can completely see why you felt uncomfortable and I think the thing that would make me sway towards him being inappropriate would be him pressuring you to walk you to your room, then to come in, then not leave, then sleep in the same bed as you.

None of this is a “helpful” person, walk to your room - fine but once you’re there I think that’s enough.

I know what you mean about bad decisions, a few years ago I was in an ridiculously expensive WAG type upmarket club with a friend (not my choice), we’d both had a really tough week personally and decided to drown our sorrows. I also have a very strong stomach for alcohol and we’d both had a full dinner.
I had 2 cocktails and a glass of free champagne from the barman
I vaguely remember arguing with my friend that I didn’t feel well and wanted to go home (didn’t want to leave her alone) she told me to F-off as she was having fun. I then locked myself on the ladies bathroom in a cubicle for what turned out to be over 5 hours, I’d passed out and had no memory.

My friend passed out / fell asleep in the bar. I came round when my find my iPhone pinged from my boyfriend who was expecting me home a few hours previous.

He came to collect us both and the barman was adamant he was taking my friend home as he lived nearby, we didn’t allow it (much to my friends dismay!)
I was ill the following day like nothing I’d ever experienced before or since.
I still feel to this day that it could very easily have been a lot worse if I’d have left my friend or my boyfriend hadn’t come to collect us.

I just want you to know that you aren’t alone and it’s not your fault. I’d also say that looking back there is no doubt in my mind that the barman has bad intentions, regardless of what others might want to think. You were in that situation and you know something isn’t right. Xxx

feministfairy · 17/02/2019 23:19

Poor you Coffee. He took advantage of you. He repeatedly ignored you saying no and he breached your boundaries by coming back into your room.

Most women have been in similar positions at some stage - it's not your fault. You made your wishes very clear and he ignored you. Vile man. Would you maybe consider talking to someone in real life ? Would that help?

userschmoozer · 17/02/2019 23:18

You sound like you are blaming yourself, but it was his behaviour that was wrong, not yours.

''He told me he’d walk me to my room. I said no and he kept insisting. I kept saying no''.
Ignoring you or overriding you when you say 'no' is a red flag. Many women use at least one 'no' as a test to see how a man will react. (For example, refuse a drink.)

Work out a plan of action for the next conference; don't be afraid to get staff involved if you get stuck in a similar situation. Carry a personal alarm. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to make a noise or a fuss.

This is a link to download The Gift of Fear, which you might find useful;
the-eye.eu/public/Books/Radical%20Feminist%20Literature/Gavin%20de%20Becker/The%20Gift%20of%20Fear%20%28123%29/The%20Gift%20of%20Fear%20-%20Gavin%20de%20Becker.pdf

CheerioHunter · 17/02/2019 23:14

So he's sat there casually drinking his coffee while watching you be sick?
He leaves while you're still (just) conscious, then let's himself back in when you're not?
He's helped you in to bed, but then feels the need to get undressed (to his boxers) and get in it too?

IF he was 100% being an helpful guy, there's so many things he should have done differently.

Why didn't he try to help while you were being sick?
Why leave at the point you could potentially pass out and choke?
Why didn't he alert other colleagues and a few come back to help?
If he came back, why didn't he look for your phone to ring a friend etc?
If he had to help you in to bed, and wanted to stay to make sure you were okay, why didn't he sleep clothed on the sofa / chair etc?

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