Hi all,
I’m sorry if this isn’t the right place for this but I don’t know who else to talk to who might understand. Please go easy on me it’s not my proudest moment.
I’m really only looking for opinions I guess to settle my own mind. This happened a few years ago and still bothers me from time to time.
Basically, I got myself in to what could have been a nasty situation and I’m torn between feeling suspicious that the man I was with spiked my drink and feeling like he was helping me while drunk.
I was at a work conference. Dinner time came and I had two courses (starter and main) of stodgy vegetarian food. I had only water with my meal. Between main and dessert they had an alcohol tasting game- had to smell and taste the spirit and match it to a description. I was tasting it but literally just a taste (as in no swallowing required). I didn’t feel drunk after this.
After the meal a man from the same company but a different office sat by me and chatted to me. We talked for a while and drank red wine. He seemed nice (not in a sexual way. About as old as my dad and I am also happily married). In total I might have had a bottle (maybe not even that) in the space of about 4 hours.
At about 11 he said ‘you look like you should get to bed’. I was reading a great book at the time and thought if I went up then I could get some reading time in before I had to sleep.
He told me he’d walk me to my room. I said no and he kept insisting. I kept saying no. He said he couldn’t let me go alone in case something were to happen to me. So I said ok.
I guess I assessed the situation. The lady that was in the room across the hall from me had just gone up to bed, there were people all around in rooms. He was a colleague.
On the walk to my room he started talking about how nice my body was and was touching my legs. I asked him to stop and he did.
When we got to my room he asked if he could have coffee. I said no but he kept asking and saying that he was too drunk to make it back to his room without coffee to sober him up. I relented. I told him he could have one and then he had to go. At this point I felt a little merry but not drunk. I propped the door open and filled the kettle.
This is when it gets a little dodgy. I was filling the kettle and it was like I was hot by a tonne of bricks. I felt dizzy and sick and could barely stand. I told him he had to go now as I thought I’d be sick.
I was by far the illest i’d ever been. I was collapsed by the toilet vomiting profusely and shaking. I remember looking at him and he was sipping the coffee that he’d made himself and watching me puke.
He finally left and I laid down on the bathroom floor and passed out.
I have a vague memory of being put in to bed and being sick again badly.
I woke up the next morning to find that he’d let himself back in to my room. He was the one who’d put me in to bed. He’d slept in his underwear in the same bed as me.
I woke up when he got up to get dressed in the morning. He gave the impression that he didn’t expect me to be awake. He was talking a lot and rambled some weird story about getting in to trouble at a previous conference because he stayed in another young lady’s bedroom because she forgot that she said he could stay there.
I don’t know what to think.
I don’t expect anyone to know my personal tolerance for alcohol but I felt merry up until the point where I was floored. It came on so quickly. That, and the way he insisted on walking me to my room and coming in made me think it was a plan. But maybe he didn’t expect me to be so violently ill.
On the other hand, I know for sure I wasn’t assaulted (tights were still up around my tits) and I know that he’d flown to the conference. You wouldn’t risk bringing drugs on a flight would you? Also, you could spin the situation and see it as him helping a drunk young lady.
I remember pretty much everything as well which surely would defeat the purpose of spiking someone’s drink?
I think this really bothers me because of the poor decision making on my part, the ambiguity and the fact that but for the grace of god I could have been assaulted.
Any opinions or advice is welcome. I still struggle with it a couple of years later.
Thanks for reading