Small feminist acts

I love this thread and will admit that I sometimes find it hard to think of tangible acts I can do as an example to my DD. There are lots on here that I can do, thanks everyone.

I was chatting with her a few days ago and after years of really liking Little Mix she's really getting into Dua Lipa and I asked her why. She says that when she watched the videos it's easier to hear her singing and hear the actual words (don't worry its radio edits she sees/hears as I know DL lyrics aren't all angelic) whereas when it's L Mix on it seems all about their looks.

Whilst I was pleased by this observation I am also v aware that bands like LM are often "slut shamed" and that isn't on, I worry that as their music is totally aimed at the male gaze their shelf life is limited because of that IYSWIM?

So in summary of that rambling it was good to hear she wants actual good tunes from her music.

Grabs coat and takes detail on way out.

The Jack the Ripper museum wikipage has been edited by an interesting character.

Just sayin.

Oh an edit war? Yeah, I don't need to look to know there'll be one of those going on. Can suggest plenty of other pages I'd expect to find one, too.

We're living in an age of information wars. Wikipedia is a front in these wars for every conceivable party, just like Twitter, Facebook, MN... Has been since it started.

Sorry, so are you suggesting WrathofnamechangeKlop's post was just to alert people to that? Yes, agree it's good to remember caveat lector.

Look at the edits on the 4th wave feminism page and you'll understand.

There were significant issues at Wikipedia in the early days because, as with all voluntary efforts, those who show up get to make the decisions.

Being new and an online format which was popularised among techies, early adopters were IIRC statistically much more likely to be male. They were certainly more likely to live or work somewhere with very good internet connections and continual access to a connected computer. In those days, this narrowed the worldwide field rather!

I also don't see what sex has to do with editing Wiki pages btw. Wikis are meant to be about facts backed up with sources, it's not about the contributer's own views based on how they see things

LilaJude thank you for that!

Default use of "he" for "either he or she" is one of those things that infuriates me.

Yes, I get that alternatives are clunkier. I'll live with the clunkiness, or with more imaginative solutions ("she" for "either he or she"? Alternating?) rather than be spoken to as though "he" is the default human and I'm just a "he" manquée.

talk to less men, talk to more women

Love this!

I’m a lawyer and lots of contracts etc use ‘he’ to mean ‘either he or she’ but I refuse to do this and always say him / her etc. I also consciously make myself think of imaginary professionals as women instead of defaulting to men.

Sorry, can you explain that one, WrathofnamechangeKlop?

(I'm familiar with editing Wikipedia, and in its early years contributed to discussions on diversity and how the profile of the contributor pool was determining content. I just don't get your post.)

Edit a wikipage.

Look behind the wiki pages and see what contributions people (usually men) are making.

we have a female handy lady.
she's great!

in work meetings I put topics presented by women first.

Yes women will put down other women but isn't that just part of the 'pick me dance'? Aren't girls traditionally raised not to be competitive, not to stand out, except when it comes to looks? When you are valued only or mostly for your looks and you are given an unreachable (airbrushed) standard by the media, isn't it likely that you will run down the nearest competition in order to look better, and try to please the overlords men. I praise my girls on their intelligence and their kindess much more than their looks, and as a pp said, I don't have trashy 'womens' magazines in the house.

I don't buy trashy magazines and we don't watch kardashians TOWIE drag race and other anti feminist trash on TV
have raised a lovely daughter who has great self esteem

My daughter’s have never heard me say anything negative about another woman’s appearance or clothes.

This was a conscious decision after I once heard my sister be so rude about a very successful woman to her teenage daughters. It was nasty, uncalled for and actually wrong - the woman is an amazing female role model and I couldn’t understand why you would try to tear her down in that way.

Thank you Jean. These small feminist acts combine to have big effects. Taken from an article in the New Scientist about patriarchy:
In righting things, solidarity is crucial, says Amy Parish at the University of Southern California, Los Angeles. She studies bonobo societies, which are patrilocal but female-dominated. Females weigh 15 per cent less than males – similarly to humans and chimps – yet Parish says they have the upper hand because they cooperate and form alliances. She sees a parallel with feminist movements: “The goal is to behave with unrelated females as if they are your sisters.”

My small feminist act is to have puffed those here!

A bit niche, but I like this project:

REQUEST A WOMAN SCIENTIST
500womenscientists.org/request-a-scientist

And one of the ones it links to, which is how I first heard of this movement:

Diverse Sources
diversesources.org/about/

The projects came about because journalists in a hurry were reaching for the same-old-same-old when they needed a scientific talking head. The more a particular person was quoted, the more they got asked.

So selection bias affecting who got asked the first time (heads of department, mates of the boss, etc), was amplified.

These projects offer a broader range of scientists to call.

I compliment other women on a daily basis (not on looks, but doing a great job, thinking of other people, helping out when it was extra to their job), I try to support and encourage them in their careers.
I deliberately don't get drinks in meetings, or offer to take notes, because traditionally women are expected to take those tasks. (If I arrange a one to one meeting with a colleague I offer to get refreshments, as I think of that as hosting).

It doesn’t take a genius to realise that the body shaming perpetuated by a lot of women is merely internalised misogyny. The fact that people don’t realise goes to show how ubiquitous it is.

Think about it. “What is she wearing?” - historically, clothing rules dictated by men. Clothes design to censor and immobilise women.

“Look how fat she is!” Why would a woman care? Even if we thought of this in anthropological terms, there’s no benefit in women shaming other women in this way. What it really means is, I don’t want to have sex with her and it comes from men.

Why is she dressed like a slut? - Who coined the term slut? It certainly wasn’t women.

She’s asking for it - again, why would so many of these comments be focused on sex if they came from women?

I’m not saying it is perpetuated by women. It is. They say what they think people want to hear and they cast themselves into the majority as a result, which feels like a good move. But don’t be fooled - this is something that serves men and only men.

I'm raising my son to know the importance of treating people with equal respect and care. To recognise unfairness. To know the real history of women and men, how patriarchy came about and its disastrous effects on us today. To understand women's trauma and wounds and to know what he can do to help redress the balance.

I realised that all the punk music I listen to is by men, so I got some pussy riot.

I’m teaching my daughter to be a feminist, continuing the family line of strong women.

Change the genders in your DC's books when you read them.

I always call on girls for their answers in the classroom and encourage their vocal participation and never allow boys to dominate or interrupt, which even at age 11/12 they have learned to do.

I've started really checking my use of gendered criticism, and I deliberately avoid calling women hysterical

I was thinking that i dont do anything

But i do this...baby steps