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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

My Dd is a boy

33 replies

Sproutsandall · 11/02/2019 22:01

So she told me today, anyway. She’s not quite three.

So I have started her on puberty blockers and am saving up for gender affirmative surgery.

Nah, I’m joking, obviously. She’s not quite three and therefore has no real concept about what being a girl or a boy really means.

I’m a bit at sea because I want to be as open as possible with her, but in an age-appropriate way. She barged into the bathroom the other day when I was changing my tampon, and I didn’t really know what to say to her about it. She’s obviously too young to understand periods,but is old enough to be disturbed by mummy bleeding. (She advised me to put on a plaster.)
She’s my only child, so I don’t have any experience.

Are there any books or other resources about what’s appropriate to tell a child about how bodies work and what biological sex is, without resorting to gender stereotypes ?

OP posts:
katienana · 11/02/2019 22:21

I told my ds that my womb made a cushion for the baby from blood. If i didn't need the cushion for a baby the blood came out so I used a pad or tampon to catch it. He was fine with this explanation.

Lougle · 11/02/2019 22:19

She's not too young to understand periods Smile. As TooMinty says, a very simple "every month mummy's body makes a special cushion made of blood in case I want to have a baby. When my body knows there is no baby, it doesn't need the cushion, so it lets the blood go again."

Detail can be added as they grow older.

NottonightJosepheen · 11/02/2019 22:16

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NottonightJosepheen · 11/02/2019 22:15

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MrsBartlettforthewin · 11/02/2019 22:13

I've always been matter of fact with mine that girls and boys are physically different but that being a girl doesn't stop them from running really fast or being a boy doesn't stop them playing with dolls. No need to bring stereotypes into it it is about biological fact.

TooMinty · 11/02/2019 22:11

I just told my DSs that every month the place inside a woman's tummy where a baby can grow gets ready to grow a baby. But if there isn't a baby then all the lining falls out and it looks like blood. They are 6 and 4 and seemed fine with that explanation. My 4 year old asked what his nipples were for yesterday, I said his were just for decoration but women's nipples were for feeding milk to babies. Just be honest but keep it simple.

NottonightJosepheen · 11/02/2019 22:09

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Lemoncakestrudel · 11/02/2019 22:09

Personally I think just talking to them helps. Talk about how girls and boys are different and expand as she gets older. At least you weren’t in public. I’ve heard of a boy shouting out ‘mummy you’re bleeding’ in a public toilet (not sure if it’s true but sounds probable).
You don’t need to do stereotypes. I just explained the outer physical differences first.