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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Fingernails / hands

71 replies

Njordsgrrrl · 05/02/2019 19:39

Just had a chat about DP and I having to live in the car (could happen) and the jobs available to us.

Clean, filed, preferably polished nails would probably be a requirement for me. Him not so much as he works outdoors anyway so rough hands = good.

I bit mine for most of my childhood and remember having awful-tasting chemicals painted on them to stop it while I was years from puberty.

It's another thing isn't it? I think the gender pay gap studies should take into account the gender expenditure gap. Tights, makeup, Botox, nails, hair, waxing etc

OP posts:
Badstyley · 06/02/2019 00:18

Tights seem a rather odd hill to die on. Seriously, tights and a skirt/dress, trousers and socks, whatever.

AssassinatedBeauty · 06/02/2019 00:15

Also this from the BBC

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46662909

AssassinatedBeauty · 06/02/2019 00:13

It seems to be a growing situation,

news.sky.com/story/hundreds-living-in-cars-and-caravans-across-uk-as-rent-rises-11534020

FlyingOink · 06/02/2019 00:08

Looks like a hit and run to me. OP posted once and hasn't been back since.
Who lives in their car in the UK anyway? Our cars are too small, it's illegal to camp out on residential streets (you might get away with it but you could be constantly asked to move on), you can't claim any benefits with no address, and you'd probably get hypothermia. Condensation in a car is no joke. If you've spent a single night trying to sleep in a car you'll realise how unrealistic it is as an option

2ndWaveFeminist · 06/02/2019 00:02

The nail polish expectation varies on job and part of the country. I was quite taken aback to realise every other woman in one place I worked had polished nails

Make up expectations vary by job I really don't think I could get away without makeup, (I wouldn't lose my job but I'd be regarded as tired and not making an effort) I'm pushing it on the groomed front by refusing to have manicures

AssassinatedBeauty · 05/02/2019 23:40

I doubt that tights were being included in the "grooming" comment.

It sounds like @Njordsgrrrl is worried about having to live out of a car, so presumably losing their current housing. Worrying about stuff like this is clearly a symptom of general worry about personal circumstances.

NineInchSnail · 05/02/2019 23:39

What line of work are you in op?
I don't do a lot of grooming personally, but I am in a job where my appearance doesn't matter very much. I have noticed that women who work in customer facing roles tend to look more 'put together' than I do, and suspect that if I were applying for such a role I would feel some pressure to make more of an effort even if it was not specified in the contract.

Have you read 'the beauty myth'? It explains this issue very thoroughly.

MargueritaPink · 05/02/2019 23:37

The rest of it? Not superior. If you like it: go for it. I'm just too lazy to bother with grooming shit

Fgs how is putting on a pair of tights "grooming shit" any more than putting on a pair of socks?

The OP posted a ridiculously over-exaggerated list of things she asserts women have to do to keep a job. I spend about 10 minutes a day on grooming. Never having had a manicure or a waxing has had no effect at all on my employability.

Dothehappydance · 05/02/2019 23:27

No wouldn't have Botox either. Unless for medical reasons.

It just isn't on my radar, hence not commenting specifically.

And I don't particularly feel the cold so trousers and socks do me fine. I wore my 'big coat' last week when the temperature dropped below freezing, but back in a normal thin coat, even if it is just a few degrees.

AssassinatedBeauty · 05/02/2019 23:26

Probably because Botox is so obviously not the same level that no one else thinks it's a serious point?

People with similar feelings are sympathising, that's all. Not leading a campaign of vilification against women who do like tights.

LangCleg · 05/02/2019 23:20

I'm definitely superior about Botox. Sorry not sorry.

The rest of it? Not superior. If you like it: go for it. I'm just too lazy to bother with grooming shit.

MargueritaPink · 05/02/2019 23:16

But it wasn't just personal preference. The OP posted an exaggerated list of things which women , according to her, have to buy/ do.

She equates tights with Botox and no one, apart from me, seems to think that is absurd. Everyone else is proudly declaring they never wear tights so presumably are happy to equate wearing tights and getting Botox.

AssassinatedBeauty · 05/02/2019 23:09

No it's not a sneering thread. It's a thread started by a woman worried about losing her housing and having to live in a car. And then worrying about how to maintain any work requirements that involve personal grooming.

I get that you don't understand my personal experience! That's because you aren't me, and we're all different. Some women hate tights and think they're evil! Some women prefer them over trousers. People are giving their personal feelings, no need to interpret it as criticism of your choices or "sneering".

Dothehappydance · 05/02/2019 23:05

No superiority from me. I find it easier to do my job in trousers, I hate shoe shopping with a vengeance and I can't wear heels, so that also limits my skirt/dress options.

My hair is very very fine, it is what it is and therefore I can do little with it.

Wearing nail varnish is painful, it really is, I can cope with it for a couple of days but that it really hurts, my nails are also delicate so I keep them short otherwise they break.

So no, no superiority. I will join in a conversation as much as anyone, but just don't do the things myself.

MargueritaPink · 05/02/2019 23:04

I find trousers much warmer, for me, than skirts and tights no matter how thick the tights. It's personal, which is what I think people here are saying - what they personally find evil/annoying!

But It's taken as read tights are bad. Tights are listed along with botox as a terrible thing women are forced to spend money on. I don't wear or own socks. Tights are just leg wear.

As for keeping warm my son occasionally wears thick tights under jeans in exceptionally cold weather. I don't understand how if you wear trousers with socks in summer that wearing the same trousers with socks in winter can be as warm and comfortable.

This is just another let's have a sneer at silly women thread.

MargueritaPink · 05/02/2019 22:57

Of course if you enjoy wearing make-up, painting your nails, wearing tights and so on you absolutely should go for it, and I'd never dream of telling another woman what to spend her time or money on - but it isn't a necessity, it's a preference

There is to me anyway, always a whiff of superiority about these sort of threads- all those silly women wasting their time and money on fripperies.

AssassinatedBeauty · 05/02/2019 22:55

I find trousers much warmer, for me, than skirts and tights no matter how thick the tights. It's personal, which is what I think people here are saying - what they personally find evil/annoying!

MargueritaPink · 05/02/2019 22:52

Tights are not evil. High denier cotton tights, boots and a thick skirt are far warmer and comfortable in winter than bare legs with just a pair of socks under trousers.

LangCleg · 05/02/2019 22:50

I feel - strongly - that saggy tits are a small price to pay for going bra-free whenever possible.

mumofamenagerie · 05/02/2019 22:50

I keep nails cut right down and natural, don't wear make-up, don't wear heels, don't wax, keep my hair short... I have never had a single comment re: this from work/meetings. As long as you're clean and presentable there should be no increased expectations! I look how I look, with the face I was born with (I was going to say body too, but let's be honest after a few decades it's showing a bit of wear!).

Of course if you enjoy wearing make-up, painting your nails, wearing tights and so on you absolutely should go for it, and I'd never dream of telling another woman what to spend her time or money on - but it isn't a necessity, it's a preference. I have colleagues who wear a full face of make-up every day, have flawless nails and professional hair cuts and that's their choice. As we work for the same company I know they're not forced into it, but enjoy 'dressing up'. They shouldn't get to earn more than me because I know if I put nice clothes on, my animals would mess them up immediately - I need the money to look after them and keep them in as much comfort as I can give them Wink

Hamster00 · 05/02/2019 22:42

Bras are annoying and cost money. Bah. ...the devil's work..

...as is most makeup. Tights are evil, dresses and heels can go to hell. I am a narcissist with my hair, but give me a comfy pair of leggings and a ratty old band t-shirt anyday.

LangCleg · 05/02/2019 22:32

Tights - nope, wear trousers and socks
makeup - nope, possibly mascara for occasions
Botox - nope, never, Christ on a bike
nails - aside from the kids forever stealing the clippers and not putting them back, nope
hair - mobile hairdresser, £15 every 2/3 months + £5 tip
waxing - nope, not the shaving either
sanpro - probably less than male razors/shave gel

Bras are annoying and cost money. Bah.

AssassinatedBeauty · 05/02/2019 21:56

Clean and tidy nails is surely a request for anyone that works in an area where hygiene or presentability is necessary? But you're right about polish being required - if that was the case for women I think I'd be pushing back against that. Difficult, I can imagine though, if you are already homeless and don't want to also lose your job.

Badstyley · 05/02/2019 21:45

I don’t know how people can stand to have those long fake nails. My sister can’t bare to be without them. Don’t they get in the way? Long nails are great for picking at things but otherwise practically they’re a nightmare. Also they damage your real finger nails. It’s a big swiz, because women go and get them done, then when they try to grow their own nails back they’re papery thin, so they have to go and get new ones put on. They’re a self perpetuating market. Honestly if women just allowed their own nails to grow and clipped them occasionally they’d be as strong as anything. Mine are lethal if I let them grow for any length of time. I tend to stab myself with them, and the clippings are really sharp. Anybody fucks with me when I’ve let my nails grow a bit they’re gonna regret it.

Frlrlrubert · 05/02/2019 21:26

residentofglenbogle

My employer would only insist I wore makeup once... I either wear none or go 'full goth' I have no middle gears.

I was thinking about this a couple of years ago when a female friend posted in fb about how it takes women much longer to get ready for an interview, because if all of the above, but I'd had a (successful) interview that week where I wore no makeup, hair up, non-iron shirt. It took me no longer to get ready than it did a man.

(I did have to get my husband to bring in DD in the lunch break as she was still mostly EBF and it was easier than pumping that day, but I think that scored me more 'resilience' points if anything, since the post was for months later so bf wasn't a factor for the position)

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