Cosmopolitan - Bleeding after anal sex

I dinner your pardons Nothing you said they were awestruck. Lol.

Does anyone remember an article where a teenager said she would have anal sex with her boyfriend, whilst he was watching porn and she’d be crying in pain and hating it and she had no idea that it wasn’t normal? I can’t remember the article but i’ve never forgotten that bit.

You said, "I was attractive, the men were grateful".

If you really see nothing unhealthy about this, the fair enough.

"Even if you are so attractive men's eyes pop out or whatever it was."

You see this sort of tihng.

You just make stuff up.

That is why people get at odds with you.

Yes I am SURE that in info aimed at young gay men there is focus on consent and STDs / condoms / safety. Why the hell wouldn't there be?

aimed at gay men

No I don't know what you are saying.

I am saying that focus on penetration with a penis as the meaning of "sex" is damaging for women and girls in many many ways.

That is a fairly standard feminist position.

Sure Nothing that's exactly what I said. Didn't personally feel nervous or think there was any big deal about a grope or snogging, yet to see instructional articles with doctors about having a grope. Look this is just silly you know exactly what I am saying.

BlancheM well exactly, it's Nothing who claims men are no longer like that. However men and young boys are allowed to have sexual preferences and saying they should just be grateful a woman is willing to have sex with them is not a healthy message. Even if you are so attractive men's eyes pop out or whatever it was.

Dr Bum (he has an actual name) told me not to ever stick anything up anyone's bum especially my own.

I'm not sure what this has to do with the topic at hand TBH

You see no issue with an article aimed at a young demographic that is (your words) sex education

and has no mention of

consent
stds
condom use apart from in context of making it easier

and says bleeding is normal

that's fine and your perogative

most on the thread disagree with you

and have told you so, in accordance with the rules you yourself put in place on the thread
but are not actually adhering to

You had PIV before

Kissing
fumbling
etc?

Wow and yowzers.

No wonder you have some funny ideas about sex.

Of course lots of men are nice to you UNTIL they get you alone / in bed

But that's maybe another thread.

You need to expand your horizons on what "sex" means.

Groan, whatever. Personally I had PiV before I had my fanjo licked, didn't think that was unusual.

" you should expect men to be nice to you, if they are not very nice to you don't go to bed with them"

Oh well that solves that then!

Let's kick all the cup of tea / consent / boundaries / stuff into the long grass.

Phew! And there I thought we had a problem with girls being coerced into sex they don't want or find painful, like always, and now with the added bonus that anal etc are on the table.

Elon please write to the BMJ and the schools people they will be pleased to find out that they were worrying for no reason, and that there is a v simple solution.

But Elon I've seen many a time where the 'grateful' line has been used, even by men in response to questions women have asked for e.g., I saw on a documentary about labiaplasty, a group of men were asked if they would judge a woman based on the appearance of their vulva. Most looked mystified and said 'of course not, I'm just happy to be there!'. Another time on here, someone posted saying they'd started dating after a divorce and was feeling self conscious about her body and the general gist was, 'he'll probably be feeling much the same but will be happy he's seeing that side of you' (I'm paraphrasing).
To take that context and put a negative spin on it tells me you have your own agenda.

I thought I did answer that, I said it is reasonable to assume that someone reading a sex education article wants to or might want to have sex. If every single article about sex has to come with a government warning about all the dangers of sex....and contraception.

STIs are on the rise fastest in the over 50s I read somewhere, so any articles about dating in readers digest should describe consent and contraception i suppose ?

"Of course the first sexual act most couples attempt is PIV not anal."

No it's not
snogging
groping
masturbation / mutual
oral sex
fingering
etc

You need to expand your horizons on what "sex" means.

The focus on penetration as a definition of sexual activity is one that males tend to focus on and causes no end of issues for women and girls.

Also

Yes I am SURE that in info aimed at young gay men there is focus on consent and STDs / condoms / safety. Why the hell wouldn't there be?

I'm not bitter about it at all, she could look like the back end of a bus for all I care. The point is that men should not be grateful just because a woman is willing to have sex with them, and women should not be grateful just because men are nice to them, you should expect men to be nice to you, if they are not very nice to you don't go to bed with them. It's a pretty low barrier and reminds me with the anything with a pulse comments. But anyway, enough of this I reckon the PP is not going to clarify this. If you are going to police attitudes to sex I'd say it's important to have healthy ones yourself, not just that men should be grateful for any female attention.

I had a few one night stands in my youth, they were all pretty shit and sex with someone you are in love with and know quite well is much much better, (and it helps being sober) if I had my way that's what I would teaching, but then I am old and boring I suppose.

I am grateful for many things in life

You seem to have hang ups about the word.

And seem to be quite caught up in it.

There are lots of questions and comments that have been directed at you that you are completely ignoring.

Like why you think that stuff about STDs / consent are immaterial in what you describe as "sex education" articles aimed at a fairly young demographic.

Like why you keep misquoting and misattributing quotes.

Like why you think everything is aimed at you.

Like why you think that everyone on every thread should need to agree / disagree explicitly with every comment everyone makes even though you ignore this yourself

I'm sure there are more

God, Elon you really do have a bee in your bonnet about the 'grateful' comment which you deliberately misinterpreted and the fact PP said she's good looking. It seems to have inspired a deep anger/bitterness inside you.

There are multiple references in this thread to a BMJ articel saying just that

Look it up yourself

You don't know the context to this topic or understand what you're talking about to be frank

Women are grateful as well when they are treated well by men.

Are they ? I'm grateful my husband is with me because he sexy, not because he's nice to me..what kind of advice is that ? I don't expect him to be grateful because I agreed to have sex with him and he is nice to me. Honestly.

Meanwhile the boys lack the maturity, experience, empathy to do them well.In porn you ram it in. It hurts the girl but she does it anyway.

Exactly. There is nothing to it, no art to it, you just ram your dick up her arse hole and keep pumping away as hard as you can.

I remember watching some porn a while back ( i won't go into it, but it wasn't really for pleasure). The 'film' was called 'Slam It In Harder' and was basically just blokes going as hard as they can into every orifice of a woman, often at the same time.

I remember thinking, he can't be doing her up the arse there, because he was going so hard and fast with an enormous penis that I thought there is no way a woman would be able to take that. I was quite horrified when I realised that indeed, that was her anus. The women didn't appear to be getting anything out of it at all.

I'm sorry my post is so crass in its description, but this sort of thing is what our children have access to now, and what they think is 'normal sex' from the sounds of it

My DH and his friends (early to mid forties) seem quite naive about this whole thing. One of the female friends in our group is single and she was sending and receiving nude photos/dick pics to a guy she was dating. My DH and his mates (one guy in particular) just did not believe that this was a thing in 'normal' dating. And I know this guy well, he wasn't just saying it, he couldn't believe it. And I know that when it comes to 'porn' DH still nostaligcially talks about 'leaving a stack of rude magazines in the woods for the next person' etc and honestly still seems to think that 'mainstream' porn is just 'people having sex'. When I have got upset about the choking/anal thing (we have a young daughter) he tells me I'm being ridiculous and of course that's not the norm. I have to add here that my DH has always been very 'considerate' in bed and would never dream of hurting me in any way during sex or otherwise. I think sometimes he just thinks that because he is lovely like that, everyone is and that I go 'looking' for this stuff.

Why is the image of two happy 20 somethings in bed on a ons or something, both having a marvellous time and nto being able to believe their luck, so utterly offensive to you?

The rank entitlement that is described and the girls enduring pain and not expecting to enjoy sex is hardly a better place to be.

This article says bleeding is normal. NORMAL! Nothing to worry about. No mention of consent. No mention of STDs which are higher risk with anal. Only mention of condoms is regarding making it easier.

I say irresponsible.
You say this is perfectly fine.

We can agree to disagree. As we disagree on Putin.

Your previous comment would say that if they dont' enjoy it / find it painful, they should not be put off.

No, like any sexual act they should of course only do it if they enjoy it or believe they might. You wouldn't advise someone who finds PIV sex to avoid it forevermore if there are steps they could take to make it pleasurable would you ?

The article details how your rectum can tear, it's hardly an advert for anal sex, it's basically saying that if you want to do this (assumed as your reading it) then make sure you go slowly and use plenty of lube. Fine advice and they even have two doctors explaining how your arsehole can be damaged by it, not sexy and further underlining that you ought to be careful.

Do you have link that proves that
Majority of boys today expect to be buggering their girlfriends as their first sexual experience ? I find that hard to believe, and I have kids myself.

"well I have no experience of pressures because I'm gorgeous"

You really got upset about that grateful comment didn't you!

Loads of women have said that in their day, lots of men were very pleased to be in bed with them and therefore didn't pressure - they wanted their partners to enjoy themselves.
Women are grateful as well when they are treated well by men.

You seem to have an issue with the word grateful,which is odd. What's wrong with gratitude? As a concept.

Also, I have mentioned that I experienced pressure at school, it was in my 20s when I had much better experiences.

ALSO you have not said no to putin therefore you want to fuck him.
Your rules.
Hoist by your own petard.