Cosmopolitan - Bleeding after anal sex

My parents (Catholic, married in the early 1970s) had a copy of The Joy of Sex hidden in their cupboard, most of my friends' parents did too- the more liberal ones had it on the bookshelf. We (the friends) used to giggle over it, the hairy hippie couple and the earnest description of positions. But it was basically sound in its promotion of sex that was supposed to be fun for everyone involved.

Mine were atheist and bookshelfers!

You describe it exactly right.

As I said above: interesting, isn't it, the howls of fury at the very thought previous generations were having much better sex than what's on offer today?

Grace212

A lot of men who post these feminist messages are full of shit in my experience, I don't like it either.

I take it you are not married ? I agree it's a bit strange for women to dislike all men except their husband and their son. It's perfectly OK not to date men !!

@Sheelala - "I do hope the message that women do not enjoy this stuff will work", but some women do like it (confirmed by a number of threads in this post).

The message shouldn't be "women don't like anal" but rather a message of communication and mutual respect when it comes to all forms of sex.

It's a very scary thing all of this. I do hope the message that women do not enjoy this stuff will work. That is I hope that young men are getting off on the idea that women like it rather than the knowledge they don't.

My parents (Catholic, married in the early 1970s) had a copy of The Joy of Sex hidden in their cupboard, most of my friends' parents did too- the more liberal ones had it on the bookshelf. We (the friends) used to giggle over it, the hairy hippie couple and the earnest description of positions. But it was basically sound in its promotion of sex that was supposed to be fun for everyone involved.

Imagine what it'd look like now if you compiled all the "kink" and those grim grooming pieces from Cosmo and Teen Vogue together. I can't imagine the beardy man choking or slapping his partner or expecting her to be perfectly bald and lubed up ready for anything he thought was a good idea. Joyful doesn't spring to mind at all.

Sorry for all the typos haven't had my coffee yet.

I have only had 2 sexual partners so not sure if I'm qualified to talk on here but between the two there was a massive difference. My first was before the rise of online porn (well it was there but the internet was still very slow). I am no looker but can say he always seemed just happy to be having sex with me. We tried things we both wanted to do and it was mutually enjoyable.

My other partner who I was his first had grown up looking at and the watching porn online seemed so different. He pushed boundaries expected anal which I never wanted as I knew i didn't like it and was told "all women like it they just make out they dont". He viewed me saying no as a challenge as even if I wasn't in the mood he had the view women were always up for it and just like to play hard to get. I just felt like a checklist to him.

I'm not sure how much was porn led and how much was just him being an abusive rapey bastard but the rest of the time he was lovely. We had been friends for years and I never thought he would be that way. I know now I was stupid to put up with it and should have left along time ago and not had children with him. (He was physically repulsed about my post birth body too). The way he spoke during sex was very porn like and the idea of for play was just not a thing for him. I don't know just my experience but thought I'd put it out there.

Anyway I don't have that problem anymore as I've decided to live a life of celibacy but I do worry for my dd.

Thanks 65 and the other poster (sorry forgetting your username) for answering my question about a different generation's viewpoint.

Agree Jazzy it's helpful to hear others speaking out about something that's being normalised left right and centre. That's why this board is so valuable.

I have a 16 year old son. We have talked about porn and consent many times. Would you talk to your son about anal sex and girls or is that just too much for a mother to do?

Discuss this thread with your DH (prime him first so he's ready to say the right things!) at the dinner table. Or, if no DH, with another adult, friend, relative, whatever, when DS is in the room.

Better than having A Talk.

I think a general "this is something most girls don't like, even if porn tells you otherwise, so don't assume they'll want to" wouldn't go amiss. Plus nothing will make it seem less sexy to him than having a conversation about it with his mum.

I have a 16 year old son. We have talked about porn and consent many times. Would you talk to your son about anal sex and girls or is that just too much for a mother to do? My parents never spoke to me about sex except not to get pregnant so I have no idea.

There are some very odd posts on here.

I am however grateful to find a general distaste for anal in a culture where it is being normalised. I was beginning to think I was the only one not at it!

"The idea that previous generations of men were giving women a much better time than the current generation is managing seems to have hit quite the nerve."

"As far as anecdata goes, I'm sure this is probably correct."

Me also.

I was at university in the 90s. Me & my friends were talking about orgasms, positions, how long, how many times, oral etc.

We were not talking about navigating demands for anal sex and choking. Not ever.

Porn has absolutely driven this - and I agree with pp (pages ago - before Elon's mystifying arguments today) that a lot of (older) people have no idea just how easily accessible and extreme online porn is. Porn that includes words such as "abuse" - men are literally being influenced from their teens to be aroused by the abuse of women. So of course it's not about the enjoyment of the woman anymore.

The idea that previous generations of men were giving women a much better time than the current generation is managing seems to have hit quite the nerve.

As far as anecdata goes, I'm sure this is probably correct.

I remember being utterly shocked when I found out girls were being pressured for blowjobs at parties.

I spoke to a 14 year old and 15-year-old at a family party who both confirmed that they are under pressure to have anal sex, before they've had any sex at all.

Arguing for articles like this doesn't make any sense, to me. Some people like to piss on each other, I'm not interested in seeing a how-to guide in Cosmo, or Teen Vogue, thanks.

How people can't see this as normalisation and endorsement of niche sexual practices that most women don't want to perform, is beyond me.

It certainly does. Shame that it's true, eh?

The idea that previous generations of men were giving women a much better time than the current generation is managing seems to have hit quite the nerve.

You're basically saying that all young men are pretty much wee perverts corrupted by porn and it must be shit to be a young woman.
Edited that for you.

I'm oddly reminded of the conversation I had with my stroppy ex when he attempted to talk me into anal and I wasn't having it. Though in his defense he was 19 at the time. If he still reacted to things that way now that would be a bit sad.

WTAF is going on on this thread?!

Hold on a minute

Do you have other names you post under?

Just out of interest.

Your last post reminded me of someone else.

Did you have a read of that BMJ piece yet?

Interested to hear your views.

Easily available via google and I know you were keen to see some stats and info.

Ah

So you are reinterpreting my posts in what is a very impressive literary effort

and you have called me "a complete asswipe".

Note:
I don't think anyone on this thread agrees with you

And you have confirmed your position that you don't see any reason to include any content about safe sex or consent in articles about sex (sex education you called it) aimed at young women
Further, telling them that bleeding is normal is AOK

Also, you don't think people had sex much in the olden days

And you are VERY wed to the patriarchal definition of sex as "penetration with a penis"

Also, you have not denied fancying Putin

So there we have it.

other options are

Acronym Definition
AMCO American Coot (bird species)
AMCO American Meter Company (Horsham, Pennsylvania)
AMCO Appraisal Management Company (Cleveland, OH)
AMCO Aviation Maintenance Company
AMCO Associated Male Choruses of Ontario (est. 1952; Ontario, Canada)
AMCO Air Movement Control Officer
AMCO Aerojet Manufacturing Company

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urban dictionary says

AMCO
A random collection of nerds put together to work but tend to achieve very little in a day.

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